Today's Topic: Messin' With the IRS

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(***Disclaimer - I neither endose or suggest this in any way, just passing on something that someone wrote in a newsletter***) ~ Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead, put them down the entire right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out the staples on the right side. ~ Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way, they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork, and re-staple it (on the left side). ~ Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand. ~ If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or three party check. ~ On top of paying with a three party check, pay one of the dollars in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out a few nasty forms. ~ Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped, regardless of what it is, or what it's written on. ~ Write your message on something misshapen and unconventional, like the back of a Kroger sack. ~ When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if it's just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business sized envelopes. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers hurry up and deal with your mess. ~ If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form. ~ Always put extra paperclips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners and the like have to be removed and put away. ~ Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped. ***Again, I am not endosing or suggesting this in any way, just passing on something I read in a newsletter***