Jealousy of a different kind

India
April 26, 2007 5:14am CST
If, as the saying goes that "Marriages are made in Heaven" Then I would like to draw your attention to "Second Marriages" Where are they made? Most certainly not in Heaven. This is a personal experience of somebody very close to me. If anyone has a solution to this stale mate situation please come forward with suggestions. Her hubby is a great guy, as long as the green monster (Jealousy doesn't surface). He loves her very much but grudges her love towards her son of her first marriage. Basically, he has a lot of insecurities. What is causing this Jealousy? - Search me. Lo! I just got the answer. 'It's his imagination, working overtime'. What took me so long to figure that one out? Listen up. This is Jealousy of a different kind. Hold on to your seatbelts, cause what is coming next is unbelievable. Her Hubby is jealous of her son; His imagination runs wild especially when he is on the night shift. By the way, her son is only 16 years of age. Here is what we are looking at: Pain that can be self inflicted by one's imagination. when you let your imagination get the better of you, you invite a lot of insecurities. You appear to be paranoid and at large inflicts tremendous pain upon one's self. In reality. There exist a clean relationship between mother & son. neither of them are effected by his behavior; the only thing they have to bear up with is the lash of his verbal bitterness which emits like venom from within him. The punch line is: Who is suffering the pain of this action? Who is being consumed by jealousy? Who is being tortured by over imagination? Is it all worth it? Can one indulge in overactive imagination at the cost of one's marriage? I feel, One only stands to lose. It is a total waste.
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1 response
piropos
@piropos (312)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
In all my years of being married, 10 years to be exact, and also drawing from the experiences of my married friends, I have come to conclude that jealousy results from two things: one: feeling of inadequacy to fulfill your partner's needs and wants, and two: failing to trust your loved one. If you feel that you are unable to provide for your loved one's even most basic need, then you feel inadequate in most other things. And seeing someone who is able to provide these things to the one you love will create jealousy in you since that other person would appear to be a hero in their eyes, while you yourself will become a nobody. Failing to trust your loved ones will also bring about jealousy. To love is to trust and if there is no trust, there is no love that we could speak of. And if there is no love, then all sorts of feelings creep into you, and the most dreaded of this is jealousy. Everybody loses when there is jealousy. The person who is jealous loses because he is opting out of a relationship that should be founded on mutual trust and respect. The supposed loved one also loses, since love is being lost as jealousy increases and starts to encroach in every aspect of the relationship. Friends also lose because the are made to stay outside the couple's relationship with each other. The jealous partner will try to isolate his partner from their friends because he or she is afraid that their friends are influencing the partner against the jealous one. Jealousy can only bring pain to all parties concerned. And the sooner that its causes are dealt with, the sooner all will heal.