Need some advice

That's a great way to ventillate your feelings. I guess you're really angry at this kind of child-rearing or the lack of it. From the exclamation points, I can see that you are really, really upset over this lack of concern by parents. That's really gross. . the children are not taken care of by their own parents and expect other people to take care of them for them. Maybe you can do the kids a favor by talking to the parents. Apparently, the parents too need professional help. . some parents. Ok, you have done your part, and you can't do anything else except maybe to talk, and show your concern. Members of the family can also talk to them like their own parents, brothers and sisters, etc. Thanks for being overly concerned. . .

yeah its ok, good for you, you have ventilated your feelings.. well for me, you just have to tell the mother of the kids that her children where needs to be thought and to feed healthy foods to keep them healthy..

I sure hope that your kids are not home to pick up on this behavior. I will say that something seems to be wrong. If you cannot and don't want to quit babysitting I would think that what you are doing by working with them is the best thing you can do. Now if you feel they are in danger at home that is another whole ballgame. Then and I don't state this lightly in the least you might have to contact social services. Believe me I am not stating that that should be done in this case because I have no clue not being with them everyday.

This is one of the toughest kinds of situations we face in life. Now, you've got to ask yourself some questions--is it exactly as you see it or maybe worse, or maybe are you seeing it worse than it really is. I'm not asking you this, just be sure for your own sake to do this double check. Next question, do you know anybody who would and could gladly give better care for these kids? Because the next question is, if you think these kids aren't being taken care of, maybe an anonymous call to social services--which I don't ever suggest, but...

that sounds really sad!! props to you for noticing this and helping out with the kids. a 4 year old sucking a bottle is way too much!!! especially milk at bed, i'm thinking about weaning my 2 1/2 year old from the sippy cup pretty soon! it sounds to me like these parents allow their kids to run the house thats probably why the kids arent that clean either because they dont like baths! i would talk to the parents about this and let them realize if they really do love their kids they might need some hard love (whatever its called) so the kids can grow up as mature, strong independent likeable people. good luck to you and the kids :)

Pure laziness. I stayed with a so called friend for a week, I couldn't stand it. In a week, the only baths her kids got was when I did it. She never cooked, I ended up doing it all, her children were disrespectful, disruptive, and yet I blame the mother, she just didn't care, or was too lazy. She would give them something to eat and set them in front of the tv for hours so she could chat to men on the internet. When they interupted her, she would scream at them. Her house was filthy too, I ended up cleaning it just to make it livable, I couldn't stand the filth, I won't even tell you how bad the bathroom was. GAG!! I left and called CPS.

You're facing a problem that teachers face all the time. Some parents just don't make the effort to take care of their children. They have them, often unplanned, and then find out how much work they are. There are hundreds of children like this all over the world. First thing is to watch for any evidence of bruising or other injuries. I've had to turn numerous parents over to social services. Usually it means that the parents take the kids to another school or day care, but at least the process is started. But you have to do what you have to do. Not only is it the law, but how could you live with yourself if you did nothing and something happened to them? While you have them, treat them the way you would treat your own children. DON'T enable their bad habits. If you give them dry popcorn, they'll wait you out until you offer them what they want. They won't starve themselves. Sit them up to meals like everyone else and tell them your expectations. Then, stick to them. If they want to bawl and throw tantrums, put them in a bedroom until they calm themselves down. They have to learn to cope with things they don't like in life like we all do. You can't control anything the mother does with them at home unless you suspect real abuse. If she wants them to wear diapers and drink from bottles, that is her right as a parent. It does hurt to know that a child you care about is not being taken care of, but parents have rights, and we can't do anything about them. If you have a relationship with the parent, you might try talking with her tactfully, encouraging her to read books you've found helpful, inviting her to a mom's group you attend. Whatever. Keep disciplining them. Like I said before, treat them exactly as you would at home. They have no right to abuse the rules in your home, and your child will rightfully resent them doing what he can't. Keep caring and keep trying. However, you need to come to grips with the fact that you can't only do so much to help them.

hiya there kitten..I feel for you and i feel even more for those poor kids,,i cant imagine what they are going htrewnever being home,and never being with there own parents,always off at someone elses house,,I understand poepl ehave to work for a living.,but i would deff make damn sure to try and get on a shift together so i could see my kids some point of the day except bed time..and the fast foo d thing is rediculous,,where is the nutrition in that? I dont have anything against once awhile,,but never cooking,uggghh,,,and the bottle thing has made me just scratch my head and wonder what the hell they are doing..its so time to stop..i would just talk to them and say look i think u need to stop the bottle and id liek to help,..,or something in your own words of course,,and also talk about potty training..i know its not your job..but i dont see when they will ever get to it,,especially since they arent bathed often..an dthe ears thing,,that just made me want to yack! What do the grandparents do? dont they see whats needed and going on? They must not care as well..if i saw my grankids dirty and whatever..i would help fix the problem..laziness,,is all it is..Sky was bottle broke at 9 mths and potty trained by 3,,not saying all kids are like that..it make take them to age 4 or 5 i have read,sad but it happens..some kids are slow..but id deff..try the breakin of the bottle and try sippy cups..but i would deff talk to the parents first..thats just me..what u do hun it your business,,,so i hope things get better,.and let us all know what happens next..take care!!

I don't know if I could watch the kids honestly. I would mention something about the pop tarts and popcorn not being a healthy meal for anyone to eat during the day. What get's me is the screaming when you go to wipe them. With so many cases today of small children being sexually abused it's not even funny. That raises a red flag in my opinion. With the 3 year old not speaking could be because he honestly can't hear. You mentioned it took 15 q-tips to clean each ear, that's disgusting and dangerous. It should only take 1 q-tip to clean ears, one end for each ear. Since the kids come to your house looking like they never seen a bathtub, bad eating habits, not speaking, drinking from a bottle. That just screams neglet and abuse. Also when they pick them up, they get dropped off on there grandparents, don't they give them a bath and feed them. I would call child services and tell them what you see and ask them is that abuse. I would bring up the fact that they scream when you go to wipe them. No child should be screaming and I have baby sat a few kids in my time. You can talk to the parents until your blue in the face and you wouldn't get anything through to them. These kids needs to be with a family that will help and honestly love them. They need to be taken off the bottle before baby bottle rot ruins there teeth, better eating habits, most of all hygeine. I'm guessing they don't go to the doctor or a doctor would have pointed out that they had a extreme case of ear wax. Both my kids had the bottle taken away at age 1. My oldest stopped wearing diapers when she turned 2 not including diapers at night til she was dry at night. My youngest was potty trained at 3, she went at her own pace, with wearing diapers at night (diapers were cheaper than pull ups). They were both picky eaters around that age, but it didn't stop them from eating and they could easily pick up there own food. It only takes about 5-10 minutes to give a child of that age a bath, with extra time to play while the water runs out. These parents are lazy and honestly doesn't sound like they care. They rely on you to take care of them during the day, maybe it will be you that helps these two children. Good Luck and keep everyone updated.

I can understand why you are frustrated as I would be as well . It is hard when we run into others who are doing things differently then us and we feel they are doing it wrong but the truth is without any proof or evidence that they are harming their child their is nothing you can do about it . It does sound like a case of neglect but something like this is so hard to prove . You are a good infulence in their lives and maybe they will learn something from you . I believe that if you mention anything to the parents this will cause a war and they will not allow you to watch their children anymore as most paretns don't like to be critizied on how they are raising thier children . If you want to play a part in their lives I would keep taking things from day to day , you never know what could happen each day where you might get an idea of something that would be more ideal and would work for everyone . Best of luck !!

that is so sad when a parent is like this. i can understand how you feel to i have been in the place you are and it is hard to try and figure out what to do. right now i have a neighbor that they never clean there 8 month old unless grandma is coming over. they leave her alone in a room all day long. just alot of things. the other day the kid got shocked from playing with an outlet in her room. it sounds liek the kids are being neglected badly. it also sounds though that they are being fed and watched. they will have issues yes but you have to think is it better that services come in or not. only you can decide that. if you can do it keep taking care of them and work with them. it will be hard and i am sure you will want to lose it at times. i would just watch for any signs that show any other type of abuse other then the ones that pop out like this. you can call like a head start school and tell them that you watch a couple of kids that you think have some issues like talking, potty training etc and ask them what they can suggest. they will give you websites, books, and some other things that might help you in helping the kids. i would not tell them about the neglect cause they could try and get others involved unless that is what you want. in cases like this though they would not take the kids from the parents they would make the paretns do classes, training, and check ups on the kids. they would step in and help the parents learn to care for teh kids and tell them that if they didnt then they would take the kids. i hope things get better and i know it is hard. good luck

My first question is the photo that you posted of the children? My daughter was not talking very well at 3. She had a speech problem, so it could be that the boy has a speech problem. You have to ask yourself if this is a case of bad parenting or neglect. I agree with Dave if you are really that concerned call children services.

Well that answers that question. Do you realize how much trouble you could be in? These are not your children. You do not have the right to post their picture on the net. Furthermore even though you did not mention the children's parents names you may as well said that the parents are neglectful. What if a relative of the family or someone who knew this family posted here? You could be in a lot of trouble. I realize your heart was in the right place, but posting their pic was not a smooth move.