How to tell if anyone is in your closet...

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Okay, I thought this was too stupid not to post. Have you ever been afraid that someone is hiding in your closet just waiting to get you? I know I have(I will shamefully admit I am afraid of the dark and any strange noise in the dark, and even at my age, I still have my fears). Here are some ways to tell if someone is actually in your closet. Steps 1.Say something funny (if you hear giggling, there's obviously someone in there). Make sure that it is truly funny. 2.Listen for any signs of movement or breathing from the closet. Clothes generally emit no noise but air conditioners can cloud the sound. In a nice, quiet room, you can hear the person breathing. 3.Look for any signs that your closet has been opened or tampered with, generally a poorly closed door or something moved out of the way. Keep in mind that someone inside your closet generally will have a difficult time closing the door. 4.Turn on the light (or use a flashlight) to peer inside the closet before opening it if your closet has slits in it. If not, try looking under to see feet. This step should be taken with caution, as the person inside may notice and pop out at you. But remember, as the person outside, you have the best control over the doors! 5.If you own a temperature gun and your closet has cracks, fire that inside and look for temperature spikes. This high tech technique is nearly guaranteed to find anyone hiding inside. 6.Ask, "Is anyone in my closet?" While this approach seems rather basic, it is bound to catch your hider off-guard. 7.Slowly open the door, firmly grasping on the handle and using your foot to prevent the door from opening far. 8.Repeat step 7 until the door is completely open. Then, using a hand (or pole if necessary), poke your clothes or any hiding spaces gently to check for people. If you find none, congratulations, your closet is clear. So hopefully you will find no one in your closet, because I don't really know what to do if there is, besides FREAK OUT! But try to be calm, and maybe call 911, or just kill them! J/K :P Have you ever had the feeling someone was hiding in your closet? What did you do? Did you follow these steps, or did you just stay covered up in bed trying to hide?