What would you do if your family told you to divorce your spouse?
By rainqueen21
@rainqueen21 (338)
United States
April 27, 2007 9:38am CST
This happened to my husband,just to give you the breakdown my family and his family don't want us to be together because they always wanted us to marry within our race, mind you it has been two years since we got married and we have twin baby girls, well his grandparents who are always wanted him to marry someone black mind you my husband is mixed but he was raised with his dads side of the family so they don't even consider him to be what his mom is(messed up right), well about 3 months ago when i wasn't around his grandfather brought divorce papers to him and said this is the best thing for you too do this marriage is not going to work out because i'm not black and whats more bizarre is his grandfather was on his second marriage, even his first wife was the same race as him...anyways my husband told me it took everything he had not too put his hand on him and since then he has cut his grandparents completely off
6 people like this
34 responses
@browneyedgirl (1264)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I think your husband did the right thing. Things are never going to change as long as we have attitudes like that. Ultimately, we all belong to the same race-it's called the human race.
@SilentRose19 (1733)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I think that is completely racist, I don't believe in that sort of thing. I really didn't like it when my family would say that when i dated black men or mexicans. It doesn't matter what color your soda is it still tastes good, so therefore it shouldn't matter who you marry as long as it makes you happy. I would never divorce my husband because of something that my family felt, its my marriage and i'm the one that will continue or end it.
@magicalmerlin (1623)
•
27 Apr 07
What a sad situation. There are enough couples that don't manage to stay together without family members trying to break up ones that are happy. I hope he can stay strong against this bombardment and that you are able to live happily ever after ....
1 person likes this
@sanyah1988 (306)
• United States
27 Apr 07
Not to be mean or anything but That is how the world is if they don't except you then just get over it alot of people don't but if you made the choice then live with it. Sorry
@sanyah1988 (306)
• United States
27 Apr 07
wanna see if you would make it visit www.lovecalculator.com
@rainqueen21 (338)
• United States
28 Apr 07
trust me i'm over it but i know it still has to bother my husband because he was so close with his grandparents untill they started doing all of this
@rodeotexas (1153)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I would have been really ticked off it that was me. I would have told him he can forget it and throw those papers away.
1 person likes this
@altair_dip (807)
• India
28 Apr 07
thats a very stupid attitude.. killing yours slef will mnever solve anything.. u should be ashamed to say something like that
@fellowlife (988)
• Nigeria
29 Apr 07
I would want to commend your husband for showing self restraint in the midst of adversity which in this case comes from a family member of his - his grandfather in this case. i really think his grandfather acted in
bad faith showing him divorce papers and telling him to divorce you on the grounds of you been from a different race.
I also liked the way he handled it by keeping his grandfather at arms length since the incident happened.
Anyway i do believe this are things that solidify relationships and marriages and make it wax stronger in love
@sudharmajain2000 (261)
• India
28 Apr 07
I think you must feel happy and proud of your partner. And i think no one can make me do any such thing on such baseless grounds.
@mansha (6298)
• India
29 Apr 07
this is so weired, who is anyone else to decide with whom we shopuld marry. Recently in India soem political parties have made it there agenda to allow opnly same caste marriages and they are also doing the same thing getting people to divorce each other through using threats to the partner's life to force the girl to sign divorce papers. I think its ridiculous we share more in a marriage then just beds. how can you be happy with someone whom you are forced to marriage. I wish we could lock all such people up.
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Apr 07
That would really tick me off. Unless a family member comes to you with good reasons why they think you should divorce would be the only way I would listen.
I have several family members who told me I should divorce my husband and move back to Ohio from Florida. Because they know my husband will never move back to Ohio. I have told them I will not divorce just to move to a different state and to be around family. That is silly. We have a good marriage and a good life in Florida.
I know it breaks their heart that I live so far away ..but don't they think they are breaking my heart by trying to get me to divorce a perfectly good man, husband, father and provider?
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
28 Apr 07
That is awful and I can feel your pain. My first husband was from Pakistan and all the marriages in his family had been arranged until he married me, boy were his parents angry at us for doing it and never gave him any peace always telling him to divorce me cause I was not in his race or his religion, even with 2 children they still did not accept me. The marriage ended due to his physical abuse of me and after I divorced him his parents never acknowledged my children as his or the fact that we were ever married. Your husband is a good man to do what he did, he walked away from his family blood to be with you that says alot about your husband, feel blessed.
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
30 Apr 07
if they were not mentally competent and therefore not culpable for what they suggested - I would have to do as your husband did and "divorce" them, not my husband. My husband and I are one flesh, I can no more sever him from me as I could sever my heart.
@rainqueen21 (338)
• United States
28 Apr 07
and it did me and him are closer then we ever were before
@student7 (1002)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Well I know that my mother-in-law would be tickled pink if my husband and I divorced. It seems that she is forever trying to get me in trouble with my husband so he and I could have a huge fight and possibly separate. I can sympathize with you.
If she told him to divorce me, she would be totally cut off from the grandchildren and him. She knows better though, but I know that she can't to see if it happens in her lifetime.
I think what your husband did is admirable. You have a great man in your life. If his grandfather doesn't like it then he can sit and spin. You should go to your husband and give him a great big hug. Not very many men would do this for their wives let alone tell them about it.
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
28 Apr 07
i would tell them to go, since its none of their business who im married to or inlove with and want spend my life with, i dont go and tell them what to do, so they are to mind their own business, and i would cut them off as well
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
Awww! Bad family! I am almost 4 years separated with 2 boys. But my family have always hope for us to re-unite. I cant believe that even you are already get married,and have twin daughters,they are still forcing you to divorced. I hope you and your husband will will stand through thick and thin. Pray hard and hold on togetheras long as their is love in your heart, no one can ever separate you. I hope you can fight that love until the end of time.
@sensesfail (2251)
• India
28 Apr 07
I'd ask them to put a sock in it.I don't care what my family says.What i feel matters most in my relationship cuz I'm the one who's supposed to deal with it.I dont think the family(parents) should have any word on this.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Sorry to hear about your situation and I'm happy to hear what your husband did -sad that he has to cut of his grandparents but I think was done for the right reasons. Its upsetting that they did not accept you for who you are and the fact they have two beautiful grandchildren didn't even come into the equation. I think you are better off without them, they are the ones that are going to miss out in the long run in terms of spending time with their grandchildren and I do feel for your tiwn girls, as they are going to grow up maybe never knowing them in person. A tough situation to be in.
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
28 Apr 07
If my family came to me with divorce papers and told me to divorce my spouse, I would tell them where they can shove the papers and then cut them out of my life completely.
When people marry, regardless of race, culture, religion, ANYTHING, it does not give the family the right to try and control the relationship, or to try and end it. That is wrong, and downright low.
