Can Money Ruin your Relationship to YOur Friends?
@breakfastgirl (66)
Philippines
April 28, 2007 5:37am CST
I have a hard time avoiding friends lending money from me... i am not a well-off person, i don't earn much (based on the standards)though i don't have an expensive lifestyle since i am just a very simple person. Being the youngest in the family and having a brother who has his own job and family, everybody expects that i have lots of money set aside for other needs. Everybody expects that my parents are still giving me money as their parents do. On contrary to that, ever since i don't ask much from my parents because i know they cannot afford to give me and my brother more than what we should have. Living simply was the only contribution my brother and i can share to our parents to lessen expenses and we are glad up for what we have become now because we don't feel less when we cannot cope with the lifestyle of others..in short we are very much contented with what we have.
What truly makes me sad is that from all the people whom i have lend money from me (though not much amount as i put limits on the amount)have never paid me....and i haven't heard a word from them...huh! that really hurts knowing they are your friends... why do people find it hard to say that they cannot pay you for the moment.... i have tried asking one that i am in need of the said amount that friend borrowed from me but not a word coming from that person..until now, i'm still waiting for her word....
i am not avoiding these friends, but seems like they are avoiding me...that truly makes me sad :(
1 person likes this
3 responses
@jfpicard (179)
• Canada
28 Apr 07
Friends and debts doesn't mix well at all. I lend some money to a friend long time ago (not much: 100$). He promise me to give my money one month after the loan. It has taken ages before I've seen the color of the money. So the best advice is to never lend money to friends; donate it or don't do it.
@breakfastgirl (66)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
thanks for the advice jfpicard... in one of the retreats i attended, the retreat master told us not to expect a pay from someone who borrows money from you because the very reason why they did that its because they don't have money so expect that they cannot pay you..probably in the cases i have experienced that thing applies...but anyway, nothing has changed on my part..i still consider them as friends and pray that someday they will come (not expect anymore that they pay) and be normal friends again. true... i consider it now as a donation. :)
@summergorgeous (674)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
i also try to avoid lending my friends money because it might get in between our friendship. but there are times that you know that they really need some financial help and you find yourself helping them because they are your friends.
so far, my friends who owed a big sum of money always pays me back, they take a long time but they do pay me.
then are some friends who borrowed a little amount of money then never pays you back. if this happens, i would forget about it and consider it as a happens, i always talk to them and ask them if they could pay me back cause im a little short on money. if they paid me back right away, then good but if they said that they would pay me later and they dont pay, well, i just forget about it then if they ever try to borrow money again, i'd simply make an excuse.
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
Huh, some friends. . in your case, money can ruin your relationship with them because they don't pay you back. All I can say is that these friends are not true friends because they only take advantage of you. That's truly sad . .And please, next time friends borrow money from you, learn to say no. This way you will save yourself from hurts brought about by some who "forget" or simply ignore you appeals for payback. See? Some of them avoid you. . an indicator that they are not willing to pay. Be wiser now and learn from those mistakes. We don't need friends who are only there when they need you. . .
