Discouraged by my so-called friends...
By tombiz
@tombiz (2036)
Philippines
April 28, 2007 8:39am CST
I don't have a big circle of friends. Most of my friends were the ones I met in my college days. Up to now, I maintained at least 3 friends from college. These are the closest to me. However, lately all of them are giving me headache because they could not pay their owed money to me. And since I am out of work these days, it is straining on my financial structures.
I could not easily get back the money since all of them are having a hard time and supporting their own families. Sometimes I get discouraged of my friends. That's why I finally resolved not to ever ever let any friends borrow funds from me under any circumstances. Failure to pay will definitely strained the friendship.
2 people like this
13 responses
@marenda (41)
• United States
28 Apr 07
everyone falls on hard times every now and then. i can understand why you may feel disappointed and let down as your friends aren't in a position to pay you back in your time of need. many people have a no loan policy with their friends and if that works for you do it. don't let money come between you and your friends. i'm sure if your friends are really your friends and not moochers they feel bad about the situation and have every intent of paying you back as soon as possible.
Not to make light of the situation but maybe you should invite them to mylot using your referral code and get them to work off their debt lol
Best wishes to you,
Marenda
@zhizhong07 (674)
• Singapore
29 Apr 07
yes i definitely agreed on this theory as talking about money will affect the friendship
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
29 Apr 07
Maybe you could set up payment plans with your friends, so they pay you back a little bit at a time. On the one hand, they may be having a difficult time - but they were the ones who borrowed the money and you are having a hard time too.
It's hard when money and friendships get mixed together.
@lossforredwords (3620)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
That happen to me just recently.. though she is not that close friend I think the money she borrow from me that haven't been paid for over a year now affects our starting friendship... actually I feel disappointed cause I see her as a very generous and kind friend but it seems that I have been deceive cause she is just full of promises.
@bhuvanmittal (52)
• India
29 Apr 07
in my friend circle we do not borrow the money or any fund we just give money for their help, and in turn sometimes they also help us.
@stefan_diego (556)
• Canada
29 Apr 07
That is absolutely true. Nothing's more frustrating than lending your hard earned money to other people and not get paid. That is why I don't lend my money to other people because I'm saving it for emergency purposes. I've learned a lot of lessons about lending money. 1st, there is really no definite time you're gonna get paid. Yeah they can promise to pay you on a certain date but then a lot of reasons will come up why they failed to. And that's what I'm avoiding to happen. Friends are friends but there are other ways to prove your worth it. Not just for helping their financial dillemmas.
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
29 Apr 07
Don't get too discouraged. It is a shame that money has come between you and your friends. I hope they are all well-meaning and would pay you back if they could. As things change in our lives, our friends change too. I am no longer in touch with any of my colled friends and they don't owe me money! Time and distance put them in my past and not my present. Some people are meant to be in our lives for just a little while, while others stay longer.
@lilyoungfella (1196)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
I agree. You Should know how to refuse them. Because if you keep on tolerating their attitudes, they'd still be doing that to you.
@kteja_86 (293)
• India
29 Apr 07
I surely can understand ur situation tombiz,coz i faced the same due to my so called friends!!! But u cant do anything,they're ur friends! Try explaining them ur financial structure and still if they do not respond,i cant suggest u anything coz they r ur friends!
@charlestchan (1415)
• Malaysia
29 Apr 07
haha.. same here.. i think it's really hard to find a true friend in college ... most of them are fakers.. and they come close to you because they need some benefits..... last time one of my housemate used to owe me too.. and refuse to pay me.. then i get really fed up.. and decided to ignore him.. i think he is making use of our friendship....then now .. i seldom talk to him anymore.. luckily we won't be housemate for the next few months.. haha =P.. i think friendship should not involve money.. do you agree? i belive money is one of the cause why many friendship failed..
@marylie (11)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
dear, dear, dear. money can ruin relationships, especially your relationship with your friends. when money is involved...sigh...when a friend of your's will borrow money,make a clear agreement with him/her beyond being friends. so hard feelings won't get into your relationship as friends.
@jacki3 (136)
• United States
29 Apr 07
before i even consider lending money to a friend, i ask myself which is more important ... friends or money. i usually chose friends and i end up with more than just an empty wallet. i don't expect them to pay me anymore, but i know when i fall into hard times they will help me out, too.
