Suicide...

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Have any of you lost a family member to suicide? I know this is a touchy subject because of what it does to the family, the religious aspects, etc...but I am wondering. I lost my cousin yesterday to suicide. They found him in a hotel room...he had written notes to his parents and his sister and brother. I never knew he was depressed like this. I know he felt sorry for him self a lot for not having a woman in his life, but I never thought it was THIS far! I am just shocked. I feel bad thinking that maybe there was more I should have done or said. I mean, maybe I should have kept in touch more or something. I feel horrible that he was alone and I wonder what his last thoughts were. I mean, I have been diagnosed with depression, but I have NEVER NEVER thought about killing myself. How do you deal? How do you deal with the guilt and the feelings of helplessness that I am feeling right now? If I am feeling like this I can only imagine how my uncle and my other cousins are feeling.