Adoption

I am so sorry you had to grow up in an awful environment like that, that's just plain WRONG. My partner & i were just discussing your post & we agree that adoption should only be done when you are committed to raising a child, in a loving environment where the child will not be treated any different to their own biological kids. My partner also mentioned that he believes the adoption process needs to be done better & they need to screen adopting parents more carefully to prevent someone from ending up in a loveless family situation & i feel terrible for you coz it should never have been that way for you. It makes me wonder why they adopted you in the first place - did they ever tell you why they bothered? I do think the right thing to do is tell the adopted child they are adopted but maybe not too early, it just gived the adopted child the chance to maybe go out & find their biological parent/s is that's what they choose to do. I think your parents did the wrong thing & they were never going to be suitable parents for an adopted child, it makes you wonder if they were even good parents to their own child. I hope you can work through everything & give yourself a better life, you do deserve it. Try a counseller, they can work wonders & it's always good to get things off your chest with someone who cant/wont throw things back at you!

First diego, I'd like to praise you for sharing your story. You truly are a special soul. I myself am coming from a position where I was involved in a different sort of adoption scenario. I am a birth mother to a little 5 year old boy with whom I share an open correspondence with the adoptive parents. These parents however are taking a different route to introducing him as being adopted as opposed to the tragic way you seem to have been introduced to it. My 5 year old who I gave up for adoption already knows who I am through photos and even knows my name. They gradually tell him little by little that he was adopted but are keeping cautious about the way they approach the subject with him. Your story is very saddening to me. You questioned whether it is wise to tell a child about being adopted. Well, I think it depends on the approach the adoptive parents take to let their children know. I can only imagine how alone you must have felt. Not feeling wanted and all that. It affects you to this day. I've felt that way in my life and I wasn't adopted. Just remember, you are a very special person, forever. You don't know me but I just know that you are something special.

I am sorry about your status. You did not ask to be adopted in the first place and your adoptive parents should have thought of that. I am in the same delima with you but my case is I have adopted 2 girls and brought them up as my own. They are now 11 and 9 years old. I have 2 sons of my own aged 23 and 25. Since I did not go to the proper channel to get them ,my problem is till now I do not have proper birth certs. My 2nd problem is should I tell them that they are adopted. I don't want them to feel alien in my family so have not told them anything. Do you think it is wise to tell them now or wait till they have grown up. I love them and discipline them as I did to my own bilogical children. My two sons are graduates and successful in their own right. Likewise I want to see these two girls folliwng the steps of their elder brothers.

My girlfriend adopted two little boys. She let them know from the start that they were adopted. But she also let them know that she adopted them because she loved and wanted them. She choose to be their mother and that is what made them so special. What your adoptive parents did to you was wrong and should never of happened. No child deserves to be treated that way.