My Aunt is having an affair...

I hope that you don't let this ruin the relationship that you had with your aunt. She obviously cares deeply about you and trusts you because she confided this to you. Although her marriage looks perfect~ you haven't been living her life. She needs guidance to stop the affair and get focused on what is important~ her family. By confessing to you, this might be her way of reaching out for support to turn this around. Please don't judge, talk to her, support her and try to guide her to do what is right.

I know what you can feel right now and it is really upsetting to hear from a dear relative that she is doing that kind of behavior and to think that you look up on her. But remember that not all the best will make you happy. As you have told, she has a perfect marriage as they seem to be but she is not happy with it. I think you have to talk to her and tell her what you feel so that you will not look down on her.

I'm so sorry to hear about this situation. Things certainly aren't always as they seem. I am learning more and more. Just do the best you can to remain friendly with your Aunt. You may have to distance yourself emotionaly to do that. It's always hard when someone you look up to lets you down.

I have never agreed with cheating. I think that if you wish to be with someone else, then just do that. Dont be deceitful and sneaky. I think it is low. Me myself, would tell the husband. wether or not she is your aunt or not.

It causes a pain in my heart when I hear of another person cheating on their partner. The pain it can inflict is crippling. I knew of a man who cheated on his wife during their courtship and throughout their entire marriage. They eventually divorced. She didn't want the divorce, but he refused to stop having the affairs. He said it was part of who he was. How inconsiderate of him to actually expect his wife to accept the fact that he was cheating on her and didn't plan on stopping. Their daughter was devistated by this. She is married with a daughter. Her father has limited contact with his granddaughter. It was his choice to do this because his daughter sided with her mother. The offender needs to realize that it is not only their partner/spouse that they hurt, but other people get hurt as well.

I guess I'm a bit harsher than many other people here when it comes to infidelity. I would definitely be disappointed in someone whether they be a family member or a friend if they told me they were cheating on their spouse and even worse to know they had been doing this from before their marriage. What on earth was the point of marrying someone else then? It's like she never even gave the marriage a chance by carrying on with her lover from before her wedding day! I don't understand it and I don't want to understand it. There is no excuse for infidelity, she must know she's doing something wrong. Why did she tell you this now? Maybe she wants acceptance? I don't think people can justify being unfaithful at any time and some would say their spouse does not satisfy them sexually or emotionally which is why they turn to another for those comforts but your aunt was seeing this other guy since before her marriage so it's even less justifiable in my eyes. Maybe she can't handle the lies anymore and told you because she wants to be talked out of this affair. Maybe you're the right person to help her because she knows you have high standards and are the only one who can help her with this. I hope you find the strength to do what needs to be done to ensure this does not end up as a disaster. x

That is really sad, when we hold someone in great esteems and this happens then you do feel bad. Sometimes all that glitters is not gold may be her marriage is not as good as you feel otherwise their seems to be no need of extramarital affair. May be she just has a friend and their friendship is based on platonic level that is also possible.Anyway it is her life so just ignore it for the sake of your cousin brother.

Oh marie, I can understand how you feel. I hope this will not stop you from looking at your aunt in a different views. We all have some things that we can't seem to put off. Your Aunt may be in a state of confusion and although her marriage is close to perfect like you described, your Aunt may not yet completely grasped the idea of being married. There are some people who needed years to adjust to their new life. Your Aunt should be aware of the consequences she should be facing though. Let not this things ruined your love for your Aunt. Continue giving your support and guidance and your Aunt will wake up one day and have her final decision to straighten this matter.

I'm sorry, hun. You might need to think about it though. Things aren't always as perfect as they seem. Maybe she was putting on a show so everyone would think they were happy even though they weren't. I understand why you're hurt and shocked, but maybe try talking to her about it and see what was REALLY going on. *hugs*

I can understand how this upset you. I too would feel very let down. But your Aunt is still the same person you thought she was. She is human and can make mistakes in life. She may need your friendship now more then ever. If this has been going on for a while, there must be a reason why she finally brought it up. Just try to be there for her.Good Luck!

I'm sorry that this has upset you so. I can understand how it would make you reevaluate the kind of person you thought your aunt was. Have you tried expressing your feelings about this to her?

okay marie.. first .. let's look from her point of view.. why is she having an affair? you do seem to be very confident that she's having a very blissful marriage isn't it? but.. are you sure what you see is the truth? .. i think there are two types of people.. one.. is the one that do something for pleasure.. another one.. they do it for some reasons.. so.. i don't know which type is your aunt.. but.. why not asking her what's her problem? if she says she's doing it for pleasure.. then.. give her some advice.. tell her it's not good for her son... i know the impact of broken family.. because my family is a good example.. so.. try your best to mend the situation =)

Thats really sad .... i can pray to god that you get a strength to get over of all this and move on in the life . Some says life is full of ups and downs . its your downs in life ...don't let it take over you ..just forget it and move on .. Cheers