Do you ever talk about people behind their back?

No I don't do that myself, but I do know a person who I think has made it his life's occupation to talk about everyone he knows in a bad way behind their back...talk about a gossip!!! And quite often it's very personal things he's talking about..

well sometimes you cant avoid talking over people's back. but then i make it a point that whatever i say goes in favor of the person i am talking about. and if i dont have anything positive to say then maybe i will keep mum.

yes a few times. and now it is mostly about my daughter in law that dont want to learn English. And now she thinks we should learn Spanish . my son told here she needed to talk English here in the states!

Yes, I do talk about people behind their backs, but it's usually in a positive manner. I don't run anybody down unless they're there to defend themselves normally. However, there was something that happened recently with a quite close friend. She hooked up with this guy about ten years her junior and he was one of these, "I love me", people. From the first time I met him, I didn't trust him, and I let him know it. I tried, but I couldn't like him, no matter how hard I attempted to for her sake. Then about four months after they'd met, (and they'd been living together), he started playing up and hurting her badly. He even went and got a younger girl pregnant, and flaunted her in front of my friend. Then, when he decided he wanted to come back, she took him back. The whole scenario happened again, so she told him to go, and told all her friends, that was it, this time... he wouldn't be coming back. Now, he's back for the fourth time, and of course, people come to me and ask me what's going on! In that instance, I did talk about the to of them behind their back, but I was sorry for her, yet angry at just being used every time she was upset, and so was everybody else. She'd brought it on herself. But, that was a one-off. As I said, I don't normally say anything negative about people behind their backs. I think it's only fair that they have chance to say their piece, back.

It does happen to me every once in a while. I know its bad though. But I do believe that everyone does it at some point in their lives, and maybe without even realizing it. We all need to vent about things.

I don't like doing it either but I think everyone has done it and will continue to do it at some point in their lives.I know sometimes I get mad and say things and then I feel really bad afterwards.

Yes I agree. I hate it too but sometimes you need a release when someone is really pushing you to the edge. I think that's a little different though than someone who talks about people in relation to things that are none of their business.

as a matter of habit, i do not indulge in this talking about others behind their backs. there are times when i see myself doing this when i am angered so much. i vent my feelings, too, just as you do. when i do this, i do not have to say bad words about the person. i will just say how bad i feel about him/her and why.

It's really hard not to nowadays. I try not to but sometimes I need to relieve some tension about someone and I do. I don't mean it in a bad way but I have done it. It's funny when others talk to you about other family members - I get annoyed because I think well if they are talking about them, i wonder if they talk about me in that way too!!!

A person is a liar is they say that they don't talk about people behind their back. It is human nature! You are sizing up your competition, and by talking about it with your peers, you are figuring out who your allies are. I don't like when people do it to me, but I'm sure I've done it to people who would have been hurt if they found out. I just wish I could be a bit more of a tolerant person, then I might do it less. x

I try so hard not to do that, but I am human! I have done it in the past and I am sure at some point in my life it will happen again. Most of the time I dont talk about it to just anyone, mostly I discuss it with my husband or my family. Normally no further than that.

I try hard not to do this. But probualy like alot of people it is hard to not do it all the time. Like you said if someone has got you going nuts and you are venting things may come out of your mouth that you didnt nesesarily want to come out. But is it also talking about someone behind their backs if your not nessesarily badmouthing them? What i mean is if some has got you nuts and you are talking to a friend about it and your just talking saying nothing mean about the other person is that still talking behind someones back?

Yes, you are right, it is very wrong.. But what are we suppose to do when we need to vent? I talk about how my husband had treated me here on mylot and that is talking about him behind his back, but I had no one to turn to and needed to vent very badly..And it isn't like I don't tell him what is bugging me, but he usually puts it all back on my shoulders and I don't need that..

I did it once. And it was about my sister-in-law. And like you, I only did it because I was so frustrated with her unsolicited advices about how should I raise my son. But unfortunately, the person whom I have vented out all the frustrations bottled up inside me, told my sister-in-law. That person forgot to zip her lips and told my sister-in-law how annoyed I felt. So, I was cornered and had no choice but to let it out in the open. My sister-in-law and I had a serious conversation and she apologized to me. She explained that she only wants what's best for my son. After that incident, as much as possible, I try to be honest but still in control with my feelings. When my mom complains about my other sister-in-law and tells me some things, I just try to be neutral and in a "no comment" mode.

i am caught in the same predicament as you acually. i think it isnt right to talk bad about others behind their backs, but sometimes i get so frustrated i need to let it all out to someone as well, and i end up feeling bad about it in the end.

My mom and I discuss just about everything and that includes other ppl...some call it gossiping I call it venting. I am the type of person though that if I say something or do something I will stand up and admit it to the person...I don't deny it or hide from it. LIVE IN PEACE

I know it is a not good manners,but some one i really hate her so much,i can not tolarent what she do,if i don't talk about her mistake to others,i feel i may be angry very much,and want to call names,i tale to others just as a way to abreact my dissatisfaction.

Yes, bad mouthing others behind their back is a big No No. Try always to remember this motto: "If you have nothing good to talk about some one, keep quiet"

yeah, i talk about ppl behind their backs so many time.. LOL it is not wrong, we are just telling the truth..

I don't like it, but I was at work the other day, and there were a group of us girls, and we just finally said, it's in our blood, being women, because we do tend to talk more than guys do. It's so horrible too, because when I'm with my guy friends we just talk sports, music, movies, things like that, then I get with my girl friends, and all they want to do is talk about people or things like that. It's like it comes natural to girls or something.