I'm unattractive

I am living in France but the society i actually belong to is consultative when it comes to marriage. Usually the person as well as parents are involved in deciding about the partner, to have a better harmony not just in couple but the whole families. when i was getting married i asked my parents to look for a lady of character and personality who is kind and judicious in her dealings, intelligent, respectful and wise. My parents asked me, "won't you like your wife to be beautiful" and i replied that beauty is a plus when there is some above substance to beauty holder" and that a woman may appear more beautiful to me if she cares for human values than a woman who is considered beautiful by society. My wife says that she is not beautiful but thankfully, to me, she is the most beautiful woman on the face of earth. I really don't find any celebrity, who is considered beautiful by people, more beautiful than my wife. She is a wonderful lady much to be loved and cherished. My best friend and a lovely human. Problem of societies is that we sometimes act as herd of sheep following one another blindly. same happens, when it comes to beauty. what i can do about it? well i always talk to my friends and colleagues and ask them not to follow society blindly. I tell them that apparent beauty is quite vulnerable to become ugly. Only character and personality are the things which are much less vulnerable than face value of beauty. Apparent beauty can be damaged by an accident, by being old and there can be many other reasons. should i stop loving my wife for any of these reasons or if her face or figure is damaged? I will never because my definition of beauty is independent of these things.

You're right, any size woman can be sexy. The push from the media to shrink our sizes is rather crazy. I understand that the majority is overweight and/or obese, but to try and make us believe that anorexic sizes are better is sickening. I, for one, believe that a little extra is a big bonus.

thats a major trap your falling into there girl.why worry about what others think this is your life you are what you are and get out and enjoy it.cause one day it will be to late

Well, if never seen a full-body shot... and it's no one's real business, but I must say your smiling face is gorgeous, and you've the personality of a superstar.

Don't feel insecure. Your said it yourself -- a plus size girl can be attractive, desirable, beautiful and sexy too, and you probably are. People who judge you by your physical appearance are shallow people. Why would you let people like that break down your confidence? You're better than that.

Dear Swtroze. U r indeed a very beautiful lady. I wouild not tell much but would suggest that dont bother what the society has to say. If u really feel u have any faults in you be it by looks or by word, then rectify it. Or else be the way u r. It is human nature to critisize people for the sake of mere existance. Trust me.

I have felt that untill you yourself feel that you are unattractive you are attractive. no one can hurt you if you have a strong mind

Sigh... Ultimately, I think a lot of people end up "trapped" in this rather unhealthy societal paradigm of FOLLOWING. It's less about WHAT society tells us we "should" feel and look like, than it's about an unhealthy... dare I call it "addiction"... to "being like" everyone else, and taking our cues externally, rather than "thinking for ourselves." Beauty isn't about physical measurements, or what a scale says. Beauty is typically a statement about how we feel about ourselves. My friend Jeri is one of the hottest women on the planet, and she's "stout" by any reckoning... but she projects herself as "all that." In contrast, my ex was smaller than Jeri, but "wore" her pounds like an anchor around her neck. I never had an issue with her 230lbs, only issues with a toxic attitude towards her own sense of body image. Of course, everyone is different... in general, though, nobody (society, individuals) can "make you" feel anything without your permission.

Fat, skinny, or inbetween, dont' let any of it cause you to feel bad about yourself. If your overweight and you don't like it, you can still feel possitive about yourself. If your fat and you like it you can feel good about yourself. If your skinny you can feel good about yourself and so on and so on. None of these things defines who you are! Maybe you need to seperate yourself from those image issues. Your identity is not in anything so trivial. You is the judge anyway on what is exceptable? Is it strangers you have never met. I don't think so! Is it so called authority figures of this world? I don't think so; I know so! No it is God who judges all things and to God my dear you are beautiful.. You were wonderfully made by Him with a plan that is for good and not bad intent for you to live a fullfilling life. So don't waste your time and energy of the voices of this world they dont' count! God look at all that he had made and he was well pleased! If God is pleased who are we to say any differently. So be yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself!

When someone (like me ) would say that in front of my dad he used to say.If society tells you to jump in the water would you do it too?Only because society tells you to. Don't forget that a few people invented the slim figure and people who are as slim as they can be aren't also that happy as we think.Too slim and people say don't break your bones. Do you actually listen to society?You must look to your innerself.That is more beautiful than the outside look. Just think about that.If you want to lose weight for example you must feel comfortable with if not than don't lose weight because society is never satisfied.You don't live for society but for yourself. You must be a great person so don't let society interfere that

I'm 5'3 and pushing 180 and counting. I'm wearing size 16. But you know what? I still walk into walls looking at my fine self in the mirror. I have wanted these curves for so long I refuse to let the outside world tell me how to work my sexy. Honey, you are your own domain. You wouldn't let someone come into your home and tell you how to run it (I hope not LOL), so why let that entity called "society" tell you what you're worth? Society doesn't know a damned thing about the way life works for each one of us. As for Ms. Monique, the star of Phat Girlz, she is an example of handling your sexy. If you have time look up the song/music video called "Sister Big Bones" by Anthony Hamilton. It is a song of worship to real women like us--curvy. I have made that my theme song. Keep you head up and go on and handle your sexy. Just try not to knock yourself out when you walk into a wall looking at your fine self. Get in contact if you need to talk, and take care!

Well, I've ALWAYS appreciated, and PREFERRED, a woman with some "thickness"! I understand what u're saying, as far as feeling the pressure 2 be thin. I agree that it IS sickening! I'm personally sick and tired of THAT being so many people's aspiration and MAIN goal! There's nothing wrong with ANY size, because we all have different tastes, so, ultimately, there ARE people who LOVE size 12 and over! MOST of the women I've been with have been "thick", and I love it! I know it's still difficult, when everywhere u turn, the media is shoving weight loss down our throats. Actually, the media does ALOT 2 damage MANY of us, not only on the weight issue, but society, in general, has standards of behavior, standards of being and DOING, that dictate what's "acceptable", and what's not! I struggle with the issue of NOT being a conventional, "go-getter" type of man, being a sensitive, artistic soul, which is NOT revered in our culture, so I know what it's like 2 NOT meet the "norm's" standards. It's alot harder 2 accept yourself when what u look like, or how u are as a person, goes AGAINST what society says is acceptable. And, I know that physical appearance is even MORE difficult 4 women than 4 men, because, on a whole, women are judged on their looks, while we men are more so judged on our status, money, and achievements. The GOOD news is that when we finally DO get 2 a place of full SELF ACCEPTANCE, we will be ALOT stronger than those who already fit the "mold"! It's EASY 2 accept yourself, when u already look and act like what society SAYS u should! It takes alot more STRENGTH 2 be at peace with yourself when u go "AGAINST the grain"! And, I realize 4 myself, that the more u become OK with who and what u are, the more others will as well. I know it's much easier said than done, and as I said, I have my OWN struggles as well. But, I know that this is the key! Somehow, someway, we must find a way 2 accept ourselves, 100%, AS IS! Swtrose, from what I c, u have an attractive face, and I appreciate your thickness. Like the old saying goes, "NOBODY wants a 'bone' but a DOG"...and what does a dog do with it? Bury it! U're beautiful!

who says that you are not attractive???, you look quite beautiful and don't worry about anybody if your husband is satisfied and loves you. if you were my wife, i would have been plain in admiring your beauty;-) just feel good about what you are and leave what people think. they don't know anything about beauty:-)