My son is so flamboyant. I wonder if I should encourage him to tone it down?

If you feel his flamboyant side is not desirable, then have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him so. Otherwise, what's the issue? If this is making him popular and likable, why not? ;-)

Tell your son to stop being so flamboyant in public. I know what happens to kids when they do this. They end up having thier school copies thrown into toilets. And they end up making thier living in some place like mylot. Only kidding! Encourage him!

My kid sister is 12. Once upon a time she was this lovely little blonde haired thing who wore flowery dresses and thought I was amazing. Now she dyes her hair blue-black, buys these fake ear tunnel things to mkae it look like she has massive holes in her ear lobes, stinks jewels to her nose to make it looked pierced and fake magnet studs on her lip, the black eye make up is nearly at her hairline, she wears blood red lipstick, she is in a band, has a friend who goes to a psychiatrist and is totally her own image. I think this is all just part of being 12, she started at big school this year and she is just discovering herself. up until this point she never thought of wearing anything that made a statement and now so has found she is loving it. Just go with it, buy him some stuff that he wants - if you can afford it, appreciate that he has the courage to do it cos there are plently of people who do. DOn't make fun of him cos this is the point that could knock the courage out of him for adult hood but just try and keep him in check of himself.

Probably a bit of both on your last question. I'd say let him chew the scenery now while he's young & has fewer consequences for his behavoir. Also, since he's doing it in an acceptable forum, thru school, then he's less likely to go out & start doing it away from where you can keep an eye on him. But what do I know, I've never had any kids, just watched other people's kids & growing up more as an observer than a participant.

I say that he isn't hurting anyone so I would just sit back and enjoy the show. There are worst things he can do. Atleast he is doing things that will entertain everyone. Kids only get to be children for so long. If this was my child I would allow him to continue. Your only young once.

This is a toughy, and I'm really glad you brought this up. I am reminded of my own childhood. My mother recognized very early my flamboyant tendencies, and she kindly and gently did her best to subdue that behavior. She by no means snuffed my inner fire, but she was worried that those kind of actions would make me a target for ridicule in school (and thusly, later on in life). She would see me gesture with my wrist, or see watch me stick my pinky in the air when I ate or drank, and she would quietly make me put it down. Now that I'm 24, I often thank her for doing that. I am gay (I am by no means saying your son will be gay - I know PLENTY of straight men who are just as outgoing and "off the wall" as any gay person I know) and I needed every advantage I could get to survive if I wanted to live the life I was supposed to. I am gay, but take pride in being "normal". Many gay people I know are so femanine acting, its actually kind of embarrasing to gay men like myself who try to show society that gay people can actually blend in and live normal lives. If my mother hadn't supressed that femanine behaviour I would have had alot more difficulty fitting in, making friends, and moving up in the world. Could I have been some famous actor? Perhaps. But I know that wasnt my calling. All you should do as a mother is make sure your son is safe and happy. If that boy was meant to be famous, hunny, there is nothing in this world you can do to move him from that course. If he wants it bad enough, it will happen, no matter what you do. Good luck. PS. You sound like one hell of a mother. Your son is very lucky - make sure you remind him of that all the time!

He's playing Adam Ant wow that's so cool. It sounds like you have a real live wire there hun, and a very talented soul too. If he wants to get into acting and performing, that is wonderful. He is obviously a happy kid and it's always good to encourage kids when they are creative. I reckon he will do fine, and with you supporting him he could go all the way to the top

Sounds like you've got Mr. Personality/Rock Star in the making! I think that's absolutely wonderful. If I may offer some advice: don't tamp him down, revel in his creativity, enjoy the show! Yes, I think you may have a future celebrity in your hands. Good thing he's got you to keep him anchored. He sounds like a delightful kid. You are lucky to have him. And of course, he is lucky to have you! Maybe get him to involve the little brother as well, so he doesn't develop a complex. Maybe set aside some special time just for him so the spotlight is not on big brother all the time. It really sounds like life in your house is a lot of fun! Great parenting skills, WP... keep up the good work. :-0

I don't know how old your son is-- but my inclination is to say "try to just grin and bear it," at least for a while. It sounds to me like he has found something he's really passionate about, even IF it is just part of the process of him finding out "who he is." Maybe it'll blow over, maybe it won't-- I just remember having MUCH opposition to pursing ANYthing my parents didn't like, when I was young... as a result of which I was extremely "stodgy" by the time I left home at 18. Most likely, his mates and people he's acting with will keep him in touch with reality-- if he really IS good (you said he has won awards), he'll end up developing his talent; if he's only "a legend in his OWN mind," he'll be brought back down to earth, soon enough. The only thing mom might be able to do is point out that a little humility might not be a bad thing.

lol - maybe he is destined to be a mixture of both! It seems to be helping his confidence so I would probably leave him be for now - you never know he could be an Alister one of these days!

Be proud of your son, he's just being himself. A lot of kids are kind of shy and afraid to try things. Your son has a natural advantage being able to perform. He's the kind of person who makes things interesting for the rest of us. Enjoy him, and be there for support and encouragement. Being in a band is also a good thing for young ones. It teaches responsibility, because you have to show up for practice, and learn your parts before hand, and you have to be able to get along with all sorts of people. I'm sure you're a great mom and will do a fine job of guiding him.

If this was my son I would stand back and encourage him. As parents we tell children that they can be anything they want to be. So when a child decides they want to try something I think that we should sit back, relax, and watch the show as long as they aren't doing something that is harmful to themselves and others.

Well at least its not boring at your house, Lol! he could be out there on the streets hurting people and getting into trouble, but no all he wants is to be an actor, good on him, I wish him every success in the future.

My advice? Give it some time. I was a theater person in school, and it was always interesting to watch the kids who were just getting into it transform. For some, it's a matter of coming out of their shells, for others, it's a matter of toning it down a little. Give him some time to find his place. It sounds like he's got a lot of confidence, which is so rare at that age, it would be a shame to damage it! If it's still an issue after a few months, you could reapproach it, but for the time being, I'd just let him be. Hope that helps!

Hi There, I think you shouldn't tone him down but channelize his energy into something concrete, he might prove to be an asset