How to explain to an 8yr old that she is not ugly????????
By desimanero
@desimanero (419)
United States
May 1, 2007 11:53pm CST
My daughter is 8 yrs old and she is a little chunky.Lately shes been non stop saying shes "ugly".We took family pictures and when she seen them she said "mom im hideous"I didnt even know she knew what that word meant.I try to assure her that she is beautiful inside and out but shes hell bent on the idea that shes ugly and nobody likes her.Is this normal for a kid this age?Or should i be looking for other issues and concerns?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@jwfarrimond (4473)
•
3 May 07
How about telling her the story of the Ugly Ducking - you know, the one that thought she was a particularly ugly ducking but when she grew up, turned out to be a beautiful swan.
1 person likes this
@desimanero (419)
• United States
30 Oct 07
thank you for the response.Yes that my daughters picture.Ive been working on her self esteem with her and shes actually doing beter.I told her shes beautiful no matter what.I think shes eautiful and so does grandpa,grandma,daddy etc...
@Countrymom (371)
• United States
30 Oct 07
I love this response and couldn't have said it any better myself. I too felt ugly growing up and someone reminded me of that story. Though I don't think I am a knock out gorgeous babe now I do have more self esteem and do not feel I am ugly either. Tell her she is gorgeous and tell her why. Whether its her eyes or hair or whatever. Pick out a different trait each time you tell her. Remind her often and give her a lot of love and encouragement. Tell her that the reason the other kids might tease her is that they see her beauty and know they cannot compare so they want her to think she is ugly. Personally, if that is her pic you posted under the question, SHE'S GORGEOUS!!! now go and tell her I said she is gorgeous!
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
2 May 07
Many children go through this at some point in their life . Pressures from school , what they see on t.v and what they talk about when they are with their friends are all factors in this .
I would just keep telling her that she is not ugly and if you have to you can try a tip a friend of mine did . Have her look in the mirror and repeat five times , " I am not ugly " , after she has said this five times have her pick out one trait she can see that she likes . Encourage her to pick out at least one every day until she can see this in the mirror herself that she is beautiful inside and out .
Best of luck !!
1 person likes this
@desimanero (419)
• United States
2 May 07
Thank you...thats a good idea.I think shes been really insecure because other kids have been pointing out her eyebrows.She has a unibrow :)
1 person likes this
@diego9774 (172)
• United States
2 May 07
Very Well said !!!
I can't respond any better!!!
And you're both great loving parents whose children are very very lucky!!!!!
@magica (3707)
• Bulgaria
16 May 07
May be she feels unsecure. Show to her more love then usually.Try to tell her more often good words, for example "How lovely you are". Try to explain her not that she is beautifull INSIDE/ this means in fact that her inside beauty is a compensation/. Better tell her that everybody is unique. So is she.
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
2 May 07
Child psychologists will resolve the matter, or you introduce a girl of 8 years who is really ugly, to your daughter.
@desimanero (419)
• United States
2 May 07
Im sorry...thanks for the response but it wasnt the best.I dont think its fair to teach my kid to call other kids ugly especially because she knows the hurt of being teased.No kid should be called ugly.Thats just mean!!!
@evangleen (218)
• India
2 May 07
well i am 20 yrs old and i can recall how i too suffered from this problem....but i think this had a very bad effect on my confidance and studies....all i can suggest is that to divert her from this issue and force her to other concerns is really a bad idea as sooner or later it will emerge again.
you can better to help her to get what she feals is beautiful, if she likes long hair help her to get that but at the same time teach her by examples like stories and various other bio-graphies of people that its really not looks that take to the top.....
