Will you sacrifice your love for your kid?
By mariyamaka
@mariyamaka (931)
India
May 2, 2007 3:57am CST
What if you fall in love with a person and both of you are willing to get married but he has a condition that he will not accept your child from previous husband?? will you marry him or leave your lover?? Kids life is more important to you or your life & love?
5 people like this
14 responses
@Healthkeep (996)
• Israel
2 May 07
I don't think it is possible to leave my own child. At the moment I don't think it is possible for me to ever leave my love, and we will have our own children toghether...
If such a situation comes to pass, the one I would live with must accept my children as hers.
@Healthkeep (996)
• Israel
2 May 07
If she doesn't we don't realy have what to talk about in the first place... we can be friends, but no more. When someone wants to be a partner with somebody else, he has to accept all the things the partner brings with him. I might be writing in mail form, but it goes for both sexes...
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
2 May 07
I don't have a child, but if I did, I would put my child before a romance with a new partner, or if my relationship with the child's father put the child in danger (abuse for example) I'd end the relationship. One person can not completely love another person unless they are willing to accept that person's family as a part of their lives. When my mother married my step-dad one of the conditions was that my sister and I came first and that if he didn't like us, he was not the right man for my mother. Now we all love eachother!!!
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
2 May 07
What do you mean? I believe if you have a child, you have a responsibility to that child, and if you leave that child because your mate does not like him (I'm being general here, you refers to EVERYONE!) you are being selfish for not considering that child and your partner is being selfish for not considering the child.
@Suzika101 (69)
• United States
2 May 07
No contest. Love me love my kids. Your children are you. If a man loves you then they must take the whole package. Any person who would choose a lover over their kids would definitely regret it later.
@brand4less (1061)
• Indonesia
2 May 07
no,no,no,no :))after carried it for nine months in our womb with all those painfull and gratefull in the same time..i definetely will not marry a guy who do not love my kid. a guy can be found anywhere,anytime but our own kids?our flesh and blood??and how about if the guy cheat us someday or things like that?love between man and woman can be over, but not between parents and their kids :)
@mariyamaka (931)
• India
2 May 07
exactly... i dont have a baby as yet so i dont know aboyt the pain and all but even i wouldnt!!
@angies (132)
• Australia
2 May 07
Obviously he doesn't really love you if he can't love something that is a part of you thaqt you grew in your body. He sounds like a selfish pig and doesn't deserve a good loving person in his life.
@angies (132)
• Australia
2 May 07
I have brought my four children up by my self for eleven years, and I love them to bits, my fifteen year old son said to me the other day. "Lots of my friends at school have had several stepfathers and their lives are so miserable I'm so glad you have never done that mum."
It surprised me, but I am glad that I have stayed away from men, one day there may be a time when it is right for me to be with another man but I know it isn't yet, my kids come first.
I hope that what ever you decide is right, and that you must remember your kids are for life and these days men just don't seem to be, they seem to be too selfish.
@Necmi7 (19)
• Australia
2 May 07
Look at it this way, if he loves you he would accept you for you and everything that comes along with you. Which includes your children. A person that makes you choose between themselves and another person/people are very selfish.
Kid life is deffinately more important!
@mariyamaka (931)
• India
2 May 07
thats 100% percent true... person that makes you choose between themselves and another person/people are very selfish
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
2 May 07
The moment my child was born, or even before that, the moment I discovered he would be born, he become very important to me. I can't imagine giving him up, for any reason.
Why would I want to be with someone who wouldn't accept my son? What kind of relationship is that anyway? Surely if I were going to be in a relationship with someone, I would choose someone who really wanted me for who I am, and my child is part of who I am. If I were already in love with this jerk, then it would be hard to give him up, but I would definitely do it.
@cyrile07 (236)
• Philippines
2 May 07
ohhh that's tough LOL... anyway, i will sacrifice my love for my kids... if the man truly loves me he will accept my kid and my past :) my kid is more important to me than the guy whom im gonna marry.. im sure that guy doesnt like kids and i love kids so im sure our married life will not be successful :) the man that im gonna love should love me for my past, present and future and accept me as me :)
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
2 May 07
I would have to leave my lover if I ever got into this situation. If you have children then you become rather attached to them and it would be hard to do anything that would hurt them. My child is more important to me than my own love or just about anything else.
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
2 May 07
This would have been a question I would have asked before dating any man. If I date a guy he has to accept that my children are a part of myself. So in order for us to have a relationship he would have to want my child/ren. Men come and go but your child should always come first in your life. I wouldn't have to think twice before I kicked that man to the curb.
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
2 May 07
Hi there, With me, it would have not gotten that far, at the very mention of not accepting my children, I would of ditched him before that question even came up... Actually I wouldnt date a man with those conditions anyway. That kind of relationship will never work without the children getting affected and hurt...
@bruxedo (773)
• France
2 May 07
I would leave him at once, if this was a condition. I feel like me and the kids are non-separable, and the one that loves me has to love my kids also. Fortunately I found my husband because my kids father passed away and he loves them as his own. The problem, in the beginning was to make my children accept him. With their father's lost they were so angry about it that they (the boy much more) were always provoking my husband and telling him that he was not their father. It took some time for them to accept him, but it worth it and now they all get very well along.
@Suzika101 (69)
• United States
2 May 07
No contest. Love me love my kids. Your children are you. If a man loves you then they must take the whole package. Any person who would choose a lover over their kids would definitely regret it later.
