I can trip over air......
By Katlady2
@Katlady2 (9904)
United States
May 3, 2007 11:31pm CST
Night before last I proved just how graceful I can really be. (Not! lol) I had decided to go outside and make sure the dogs were done eating, because we have to tie up Buddy so that he won't try to take food from Snuggles (she'll tear him apart if he tries). So I put on my flip flops, and this little voice....no I'm not totally nuts.....tells me not to wear them. But I don't listen to it. I start to go out the back door, and that's when my gracefulness went on full display. There is a semi circle step right at the door, then there's about 3 feet of cement porch, and then the three cement steps. I hit the edge of the semi circle step, twisted my ankle, went straight down onto my right knee first, and then my left. Of course, naturally, there's absolutely nothing to grab but air. So the momentum carried me down and forward onto my hands, with which I skidded across the 3 feet hit the first step....second step....and finally the third step, basically bouncing on my hands and ribs at each step. I think the neighbors learned a new cuss word with each step that I hit, and more after I stopped. Hubby came flying out as I was hitting the steps....too late to catch me. He told me that he got to the kitchen in time to see my head go down and my feet fly up. He made sure I was ok, as did Miss Snuggles who guarded me from rolling off the steps again after I sat up. What hubby said next is funny now, but if he had been close enough at the time I would have clobbered him. He told me "Honey, you know, you really shouldn't be trying to dust off the steps that way." I won't repeat what I said in return because it wasn't nice in any sense of the word! (Just use your imaginations. LOL) Needless to say, I am very bruised and sore, but nothing is broken. And I can even laugh about it now. I'm starting to think I am running a very very close second to our dear Gabs in the gracefulness department. (Hey Gabs, should we start keeping track and award each other points? Teeheehee) Thank you all for putting up with my little anecdote here. I'm thinking I will be hearing many snickers and giggles on this one. LOL
4 people like this
7 responses
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
4 May 07
Ouch! That had to hurt. But really...I am not laughing, nope not me, never think of it, I wouldn't do a thing like that. Alright, I am laughing but its mostly at what your husband said. But I think I would have swatted him if it had been me. You are so lucky that you didn't get hurt too badly. And I know all about flip flops except I was walking in the wet grass and I landed in a pile of dog poop. Yuck!
3 people like this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
4 May 07
Not laughing....YA RIGHT! You were snickering your butt off weren't ya? That's ok. I've been laughing at myself ever since. I think I might have topped my incident with the yard waste dumpster with this one. LOL I tried to smack hubby, but it hurt too much, and it made him laugh even more.
1 person likes this
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
4 May 07
The important thing here is...did you get all the dirt off the steps?
3 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
4 May 07
Oh no wonder we get along so well- I could also trip over air. I've said for years that I hope my Mother got a full refund on that "Charm School" she sent me to because it did absolutely NO good whatsoever.! I have permanent scars and each one tells a really ungracegful but now funny story. I could do 100 posts on " how not to fall, or Tripping on air.... Cruisin for a bruisin etc.....
I just say you can't be good at everything.... so the fact that I cannot put one foot in front of the other successfully twice in a row without a calamity just doesn't matter LOL.
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
5 May 07
You sound like me, except that I've done my best to get steps out of my life. There is one right outside the back door, but I have a ramp into the front door.
I can still trip on a pattern in the rug or tile & I never go down a little when I actually go down, I do a full frontal fall & jar everything in my body - & since I have fibromyalgia things hurt anyway.
2 people like this
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
5 May 07
Well, I just have to ask, because my father used to ask me the same thing when I tripped over nothing and landed on something very hard. Did you hurt the steps? Ha!Ha! No, I am sorry I just had to do that. I am glad that you did not break anything, but I am sure you are very sore. Take care of yourself, and next time maybe you should listen to that little voice.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
5 May 07
Harharharhar! You meant to do that and you know it! LOL I was waiting for hubby to say that one too, but he surprised me and said the other one about dusting the steps instead. My dad would say that about hurting the steps ALL the time. LOL
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
15 Jan 09
One question, Is the cement okay?
Your trip sounds like mine outside a Starbucks in Atascadero California. I was heading down the strip mall when I came to a section that I didn't realize had steps. I missed the first step and knew I was going to fall. So I decided not to fight it. I went hurtling down the four steps thinking to myself "I'm gonna die on this trip". Well obviously I didn't. I landed on my right hand and took out my left knee. I managed to struggle to my feet and look around to see if anyone had seen my test flight...and no one was around (Thank goodness). So I limped to my destination and then went to work.
I kept having problems with my left knee locking so I finally went to an orthopedic surgeon. I had managed to squirt my left knee cap out of the sack that held it in place, kind of like you squirt toothpaste from a tube. I had to have surgery and was in bandages for four weeks, during our trip to Ohio!!!
Oh, then there was the time that I was at a friends house picking up his recyclables. I was walking down a small incline and fell flat on my face! I took out my right knee, but didn't damage it as badly as my left. I still have the scars from the accident. I remember laying there cussing myself for not having my cell phone and that I had had to have broken something and I would get to lay there until someone came home. Fortunately after about 20 minutes and some severe bleeding on my right knee's part, I was able to stand up and eventually walk (after a fashion).
Then there is the time I got my fingers caught in the mixer...or how about getting my foot stuck in the vacuum cleaner beater bar? Just call me the Klutz from Kalifornia! 
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
15 Jan 09
OMG!!! I'm in tears. I know it hurt but the way you described all of that just killed me...not to mention reminded me of myself. The little steps get me all the time. That's why I can't work now. Somehow all of those falls jacked up my lower back to the point that standing or sitting for any length of time hurts way too much. As for the cement...it's fine. Hubby waited until he made sure I was ok, and then he told me these exact words: "Honey, you know, you really shouldn't try to sweep the back porch with your body. There is a thing called a broom...works much better." Again...I'm not going to repeat what I said...it wasn't even close to being nice. LOL! Since we're both from California, who is Klutz 1 and who is Klutz 2? Teeheehee!!!
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Uhh Oh, this doesn't bode well for California's reputation! Next thing we'll hear on the national news is that klutzes come from California!
What is horrible about my "grace" is that I was seriously thinking about becoming a ballerina!!! I could see me in Swan Lake! Everyone would end up in the lake . I was banned from any gym equipment that allowed me to have my feet off the ground. That came from my using the "rings" . I did one of the moves well, it was where I was to hang onto the rings, bring my feet up and hook them in the two rings and then turn myself inside out and kind of look like a doughnut. Everything went well until the teacher called attention to what I did, She was in the process of complimenting me on how perfect I had done the move when my hands and feet let go at the same time and I hurtled towards the mat on the floor. The teacher's response was "but that is NOT the way you dismount!" Then after my episode on the balance beam I was well noted for not being very coordinated.
What is horrible about my "grace" is that I was seriously thinking about becoming a ballerina!!! I could see me in Swan Lake! Everyone would end up in the lake . I was banned from any gym equipment that allowed me to have my feet off the ground. That came from my using the "rings" . I did one of the moves well, it was where I was to hang onto the rings, bring my feet up and hook them in the two rings and then turn myself inside out and kind of look like a doughnut. Everything went well until the teacher called attention to what I did, She was in the process of complimenting me on how perfect I had done the move when my hands and feet let go at the same time and I hurtled towards the mat on the floor. The teacher's response was "but that is NOT the way you dismount!" Then after my episode on the balance beam I was well noted for not being very coordinated.1 person likes this
@hezoid (2144)
•
5 May 07
Oh dear, i'm glad you'r not hurt, i bet it would have been quite bizzare to watch, lol! Don't worry though, you are not alone. My partner is forever tripping over his own feet, and i am forever tripping over the shoes he takes off (so that he doesn't trip over his own feet) and leaves in the middle of the floor!
1 person likes this
