A feeling of guilt??
By ozzydee70
@ozzydee70 (465)
Germany
May 4, 2007 1:36am CST
not every hour passed that i dont think of my daughter who are very far away from me and today is her 13th birthday, the very first birthday that i'm not at her side... do i have to feel guilty?? for those of you who didnt know, i was a single mom for 10 years, thru hardship and sacrifices i raised her on my own not even a single cent coming from her biological father i'm the one who left him cause he is so irresponsible. but then true love came along, i got married and have a 16 month old son now, my husband is based in germany. 6 months ago i finally gave a go to follow him leaving behind my daughter as she is still studying and i guess it'll be harder for her to study here for the reason of cultural differences and the language. i dont have problem about her as she said she understand my decision but i'm still sad and feel guilty with the decision i made. Can you pls help me to enlighten my mind, i'm so confuse.. your response will be highly appreciated. thanks
2 people like this
4 responses
@gabesmom (1246)
• United States
4 May 07
I know how it feels to be away from family. It must be really difficult to deal with the situation but you had to do what is best for everyone. Your daughter seems to be mature for her age. You're doing a good job raising her. I assume she'll be joining you once she finishes school unless you're going back home. In the meantime, let her visit you as often as possible so that she can get acclimated to your new surroundings. Children can easily adapt to a new environment. She might be able to adjust faster than you expected. I think you should focus your energy on something more positive instead of feeling guilty, say, planning for a visit or looking for opportunities for her in your area. I wish you all the best.
@ozzydee70 (465)
• Germany
4 May 07
we have a regular communication thru chatting, how i wish i can plan now her visit here but we have to save first as life is a bit harder at this moment. thanx for the advice gabesmom.. at last you have an avatar already, there's reason for you to be proud of your, baby he is so cute!
@Dolcerina (3376)
• Hungary
7 Jul 07
I would feel terrible if I made a decision like this too. I am sorry for you. But I would never make a decision like this. We have always a better choice than leave our children. I read your other discussion, where I wrote some similar. I had possibilities to move from my country and earn a lot in another country, but I always chose my son. You feel guilty, and you want people to make you calm, that you are not, but only your God in your heart can say the truth, not others. God always gives you another choice, you only have to listen and notice it. Good Luck! YOur soul will not be calm till you do not solve this nasty situation. Do not await others make you calm. Listen to your God!
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
6 May 07
Don't worry Ozzydee. I think your daughter understands and loves you a lot. I know it might be difficult to cheer up especially with the distance. But, just think that your daughter won't be happy to see you sad and gloomy, especially on her birthday. So Cheer up my friend!! Smile! And Happy Birthday again to your "magandang" daughter! *hugz* (^^,)
@ozzydee70 (465)
• Germany
6 May 07
at times i find it difficult not to be sad as i'm missing her so much. anyway mylots friends help to cheer me up now, thanx friendship lol
@white_rose32f (1)
• Australia
4 May 07
Hello Ozzydee,
U know what i have understand ur feelings as a mother as i am mother too..regarding to ur daughter's birthday and to ur personal guilt to her by leaving her,i think all u need to do is try to be being close to ur daughter thru communication,phone her more times a week if that is possible to u and try to encourage her to follow u soon there in Germany..it is good if she's too will be there in ur side..it's hard to neglect our personal responsibilities when it comes to our children.On her birthday i think the best thing u could give to her is ur love..there a lot things for u to show this..thru phone to talk to her and send something to her things that she loves..to make her happy..that's all for now..God bless!
@ozzydee70 (465)
• Germany
4 May 07
your right as a mother we have our personal responsibility about our kids, thats what I'm thinking of being guilty of. we have constant communication but i still feel its not enough. i've sent her a gift already.. i knew that she knows how much i love her. welcome to mylot and thanx for the response white_rose32f. goodluck and god bless too
