Forgive and forget?

I don't really believe in getting back with a person on old terms. Its all fine upto the 'Forgive and forget' but going beyond that - trusting them again, is something I'm very less likely to do. It depends on the kind of betrayal, though. Suppose you are having a problem with your friend A, and you go and talk about it to your close friend B. Tomorrow you come to know that B has gone and told everything to A with a little bit of salt and pepper to boot, and made your problems worse. In such a case, I'd probably try to get a justification from B just to crosscheck that I'm not making a wrong judgement, and then never talk to B again. There could be smaller problems too, like maybe a friend never told you some really important detail for fear of losing your friendship. In such a case I would forgive such a person, because after all, he/ she did it just because he wanted my company. You should study your friends' behaviour with you and others, to give you a good idea of what kind of a person they are. If a friend betrays you, it is very likely they showed the signs in their behaviour with others before, but you never noticed. For eg, if a friend back-bites about a common friend to you, then you must understand that he/ she might talk bad about you behind your back too.

It is all good and well for people to say forgive and forget .. and yes we should forgive .. but never forget. If someone betrays your trust once .. why should you give them a second chance to do the same thing all over again. Trust is something we shouldn't give lightly to others .. they have to earn that trust .. and when they have been given the trust of another person they should respect that. Trust and respect go together .. if someone can do something to betray your trust then they cannot respect you. Why would you think that someone who has betrayed the two very important aspects of any relationship .. partner, parent, sibling or friend .. deserves to be given them again. So by all means forgive someone who does you wrong .. this is as much for the sake of yourself and your own peace of mind as theirs .. but never forget what they did to you. Do not bring it up again .. just remember when it comes to revealing anything important about yourself or your family.

It is just sad to know that friends can betrayed our trust. The decision whether or not to forgive and forget is not an easy one. But when we decide to forgive and forget, the question is, can we trust them? The answer is simple, accept your friends as they are, their imperfection. Knowing them well, we should be able to avoid any kind of tension that might trigger future arguement.

Trusting back a person again after betraying you is something that is hard to do. I felt that i have been betrayed several times already and that when i get hurt, it's hard for me to be friends again with that person. Maybe i can forgive her, but to trust her again is something that i can not do easily.