One must not marry to whom he wrote love letters! Unable to fulfill fake claims.

Well I would never write things in a Love Letter that I would not be able to keep so People have to be careful what they write lol or they will find themselves in a Dilemma as some People would hold them to it word by word

I guess the moral is do not make promises in your love letters that you can not keep! :) I wrote love letters to my wife before we got married and she kept them. However, she knew I was going to be a teacher and she knew how much I was going to make. She knew how it was going to be before we got married. I did not make any promises about how our life was going to be. She has never used the love letters against me.

I know I am not just responding about love letters, but about all correspondence, and video and pictures, too. I do not put things in writing or pictures that I would not want to be used against me, or get out to the whole world to see. Not even in love letters. I try to write only what I can or am willing to do.

I think love letters are fine, as long as you don't make promises that you may not be able to keep. You have to be realistic is telling another person what you can give to them. Maybe over times you can deleiver the goods, but as time goes by, you might find you made irrational promises. If you make promises with the purpose of attracting someone, you are creating the means to fail unless you really can deleiver on your promises. Then the more you give, the more they might want. But love letters are not the problem, it is the messages conveyed within them that is.

Even though loveletters are full of promises i know that some cant be fulfilled, its so nice to know that your loved one gone thru the efforts of writing these to you and that shows he just happy to express his love to you that he can resort to writing and we all know that men arent that patient to write us loveletters. Better to be grateful for the loveletters, than not to receive at all. Forget about the promises there as long as the love is there.

It's not like that we shouldn't marry person we wrote love letters. I was expert of writing letters and everyone from school and college used to come to me for letters. I know that people always write more than what they can really afford but even the person receiving letter should understand that. It's a famous line in hindi that I will bring stars for you, "Mein tumhare liye tare tod la dunga" but it's impossible. Anyway I agree with you that writing too much is bad. If I don't have a bicycle and I claim to buy a plane then it's really disgusting.

Hello Aliasiad, How very sad for your colleague and his wife. Whether he made overreaching promises, or not, it's still very sad. Love letters written in the courting stage of any relationship are penned by one who tends to be overwhelmed by the giddiness of love. You know the old saying "... through rose colored glasses."? Is there ever a time when our glasses are rosier than when we're first in love? For me, love means ... the good times and the bad. I wrote love letters to my husband, and he to me. Neither of us promised the other the moon. Instead, we shared our deep feelings for, and commitment to each other. I cherish those letters because they're a reminder of the treasured time when he and I began the most important relationship in my life.

Actually aliasad you got it wrong. Writing letters is no wrong buddy, but trying to impres a lady by fake promises is. One shouldn't promiss what they can't do or if they are just too lazy to do. Cause I believe that nothing is impossible, it just takes a little more time. It always happens that in the begining of any relationship people promiss a lot of things so as to keep their partners bound to them and also to impress them but as they get married they get sure that now the partner won't leave them so they go lazy on all those promisses they made and they just let them go. Actually one should never let go of promisses as it shows that how irresponsible the person is and how uncaring he is. Promisses specially made to loved ones should be fulfilled or else it just breaks the trust and drives people away. Any ways Take Care May GOD Bless YOU

Hmmm, this is a toughie. I met my husband online, so while we didn't send "love letters" we did send a lot of emails and such filled with loving words and "promises". But I can't imagine ever digging those up (I did save them) and holding him to those things. Then again, I can't think of anything he promised me that he doesn't live up to. I think if you're making promises you can't keep, there is obviously a problem. I don't think a proper love letter has to be unrealistic. I wouldn't say "I'll never be angry with you" or "We'll never be apart for a moment" in a love letter. In fact, since that's not realistic, it wouldn't mean anything to me to read such things in a love letter. Maybe I'm just weird, but I think letters can be both romantic and "attainable goals" at the same time. If I were to write love letters, I would be careful of my words, because I wouldn't want to lure someone in with a promise I knew I couldn't keep. I think your poor colleague should just admit that apparently he made a mistake, and tell his wife that either she has to accept that and move on or that their relationship isn't going to work. That sounds really harsh, but anyone who is dragging up old love letters and using them as weapons obviously has some kind of serious mental issue. That is not normal behavior. She needs to sit down and have an honest conversation with her partner about what is going on in the relationship, not dance around waving the letters in his face.

Why would it not be wrong to make promises you know you can't keep? That is foolish to begin with. The only promise that I know that one is likely to believe he can keep is to "love forever." However, we don't know everything that could happen to us to ruin that promise. When we marry we make promises in the ceremony and we are expected to keep them. Yet divorce is so common now that nearly half of the people who marry also divorce. I think we may take promises too lightly. Don't promise what you can't do and you will be better off. And there are consequences to every choice, We are responsible for them all.

I think writing love letter is fine.Even if one can't keep all his promises ,the couple can live with the sweet memories of their hopes and aspirations.Love letters have undergone a facelift and now people have moved onto emails and mobile messaging.With emails people have less chances of being held accountable to their promises,unless the girls start printing them out ,lol.Just kidding.If we make the promises that we can keep then the problem would never arise.

I don't think they are fake claims. At that moment, they were true. But with time, people change. Your priorities are not the same anymore. And those promises are sweet memories of why you felt inlove with the person in the first place. And why dwell on the past, now that he is her husband. Isn't being married to the one she loves, a great promise itself? I mean, promises of the past are to be left in the past. Because if you always look backward, you might forget or neglect, the promises of a better tomorrow. (^^,)

At the time he wrote those love letters he thought that he would be able to keep all of those promises. The marriage isn't over yet so he still has time to honor his promises. What she is doing os wrong. She shouldn't have taken what he wrote in those love letters so literally. As long as he is doing his best by her is all that should matter.

i dont think that it is foolishness.. in the starting of a relation ship, i understand both the partners are exited abt each other and the only intention is to make each other happyier then what they are at present, in this we do tend sometimes bluff also.. but when you are engaged with each other, you are just not only 2 of you togather, instead you have a family to look after, a future to be charted out... though i am not saying that bluffing and promising then not finishing it is a good thing.. but there are other factors also in ture life which are to be given more consideration... this should be thought abt by each of the member..

being in love is a wonderful thing, where, i feel, ppl kind of lose balance. they see stars in their eyes and yearn for things far from reality. it's a wonderful state of mind, i must say. writing letters to one's love is equally beautiful. one cannot be be calculative in love and war, it has to be more driven by passion than mathematics. so, its but obvious, that the letters and words are only rendition of thoughts of that period of intense love and longing. in most cases, this is far from reality. your friend's wife must be pretty much of those inconsiderate kinds who make sure to throw tantrums with the aid of the beautiful reminiscence from past. i just pity your friend who has a lovely yet bugging wife. doesn't he have his bits of love letters from her treasured with him?? i guess, that would have saved him. i am sure she must have made false promises aswell. LOL...

Nope its not foolish ! its romantic though but i hope that was written there were promises that are tangible and not intangible one, or impossible to fullfill..the wife also must take into consideration on the capacity at present time the husband can fullfill those, especially if it needs money to accomplish it..

no i dont think so.Love letters are the most romantic things that can happen during a relationship.these are memories one recollect forever.it maybe that the partner may show them and show all the promises not fulfilled but this shouldnt discourage one writing letters.i think writing letters are really romantic.

The point here is one should not make any promises one has cannot fulfill or plans of fulfilling. It's not the letters but on the promises one makes.

I think it's not right for the wife to use the love letters to make her husband feel guilty about the things he wrote to her before they were married. If I were in her place, I would keep the letters, and read them to reminisce our love over and over again. It would be like food for the heart. Reading letters would make me feel so in love all over again. There may be promises that have not been kept, but we are all only human. If the love of my life always does his best to show me his love, but inspite of that, some promises cannot be fulfilled, I would forgive him. As long as we love each other very much and do all we can to keep this love alive, I would not require for anything much more.

My late husband would write me the most beautiful love letters. We were working for General Electric and would spend weeks apart...I looked for the letters everyday when I would get to the hotel room, hoping that the little red light on the phone would be flashing!!! I kept each letter and note that he ever wrote me, and I still have them all...I still go back and read them, and although they make me cry because I miss him so...I would never have wanted it another way.