Extra marital affairs..are they justified in some cases?

I really feel there is no way to justify going outside your marriage and finding another partner. I may get slammed for this but so be it. It's in the bible and I try to follow that as close as I can. I think people make the mistake of getting married too fast or for the wrong reasons. It is very hard on kids and it sends a bad message and it is probably one of the reasons or society is in ruins. I have alot more respect for people who try to make it work they end that relationship before they start another one. At least they gave it their best.

Extra marital affairs are never justified. It is as good as cheating someone. If someone is not happy with his or her spouse then i would advice them to first, try to work on your relationship and even after this it doesnt work then get a divorce and move on with someone else. I think it is immoral on a woman's (or a man's) part when they have an affair with an already married person. I would advice you to leave this man and forget him. You are only hurting yourself and his family. And you are not going to get anything out of it. So move on, lady!!

NO, extra marital affairs are never justifiable, in any case. I mean, if you are in a relationship,a marriage, you work hard at the relationship/marriage to make it work. Remember no one is perfect, so your relationship/marriage is not perfect so you have to work on it. Now if you did everything and you know you did everything in your power to make things work and it didnt' then you leave that relationship before going on to look for new ones. A relationship after you have parted ways is different to a relationship you have while still involved with your initial partner. Oh yes, you and me both, get angry when I find out that someone tries to ruin a good marriage or if someone comes in and takes away the chance for a marriage to work. I think discontentment is what drives someone to look outside their marriage, as I said nothing and no one is perfect, so they try to look for this perfectness (is that a word?) outside of the relationship they are in. I am not saying this is right but that's the best justification I can think of although as I said, adultery, or extra marital affaris is never ever justifiable, in any case.

I find it pretty silly & immature that people look outside their marriage... even if it is unhappy marraige! If you have a unhappy marraige then get out of it but to justify an affair I find is wrong. If the partner is abusive then the friends and family should take more active interest in getting the person out of such a destructive marraige as the person could even get killed in this situation the abused or the abuser it could be either one of them! So getting help is the best thing to do in this case ... affair here too is of no use! In a open society like ours where people like britney get married and divorced on whim ... shouldn't a unhappy person just knock the doors of justice to get out of their marraige instead of an affair. People here (in our country )should be more thankful about the open justice system instead of in some countries where divorce is not a outlet at all and a person having affair if caught is killed are we not lucky that we have such a dependable justice system and yet people are foolish to have an affair! I find such people disgusting these are people who want to have their cake and eat it too, They want the stability of marraige and children but the romance of a lifetime with a entirely different person... why can't one be happy with what they have? why can they not romance their own spouses? afterall marraige is the foundation of truth, love and openness why dirty the water with adultery! My thoughts are not dictated by morals or even religon I am more of a practical person and I believe in keeping a home together in love and happiness and not shadow it by one's own selfishness to satiate! Ah Misheleen you are not over-reacting you are just a normal person and nothing wrong with your thinking dear! Thanks for the post

I dont think being unfaithful to your partner can be justified. It is not just right. I can never accept it if my husband will eventually have an affair with somebody else and he reasons out that he did it because I cannot give him what the other girl can give. Does it mean it is my fault that he is philandering? Reality check: extra marital affairs really happens, and honestly, I am ready to forgive my husband if in case he cheats on me. But he has to admit first to me and to his self that what he did is wrong, morally and legally. And that no reason is valid for him to justify the act.

after marriage affairs is so dangerous. it is not unhealthy to childrens also with the parrents.

Getting caught is not the worst part...that's just the end result of a cheater and liar disrespecting his/her marriage vows and thinking more of themselves than of their marriage partner. I believe that if you fall out of love, meet someone else, just feel like changing your life that the most important thing you do FIRST is leave the relationship and respect your partner by telling them what is going on...anyone that cheats during the relationship is only thinking of themselves and what they need at the moment...they are impulsive and not honest...if they would end their current relationship first they would save everyone the pain and agony of having to be exposed to their disrespectful ways and hurtful actions...I don't know why people don't think of ohters before they jump in bed with someone else...it is plain and simply self centeredness...someone that doesn't respect or love their partner..someone that needs to be single!!!! Karma is alive and well...and these people will find out how one is repaid for being disloyal...It's common courtesy to stop living, seeing, sleeping with someone before you begin messing up someone elses life....

Yeah somtimes these things may seemed too obscure. The only thing that is certain here wether a man or a woman who is unfaithful is both of them are unhappy with their partner or with their marriage. And so they aregrabbing the chance and stubbornly giving in into their weakness and desire. I guess escape mechanism has has something to do with that. They are disturd and unhappy and so they find remedy to just let go for the meantime of the real worst situation.

Well personally I really hate love triangle and especially the people having extra marital affairs. I really do not understand the concept of having an affair in the presence of ur life partner. Life partner is the one who shares the understanding and trust between the both bujt when it is being faked by the people like this, I am really offended for those.....

If you once loved and respected a person enough to marry them then you owe them respect enough to say 'something is wrong that is causing me to look outside the marriage for the answer'. Anything other than that is irresponsible and distructive especially when kids are involved. I think that very few people actually believe that they can have an affair and get away with it. It is my opinion that most of these people secretly hope to be caught because then 'the problem' will have to be fixed. The problem that they didn't have the backbone to step up and work on themselves.

Absolutely not. You marry someone because you vow to be with them and them only. If you want to play around, then you shouldn't be married. If you are unhappily married, then get divorced. Affairs are painful to the other person, even if both marriage partners know the marriage is over. Have some respect and get divorced before you start f'ing around. (Can you tell I've been cheated on?)

I have been in this situation before. as a matter of fact twice have i been involved with women that are married. the first one happened when i was with my old company. She was my agent. She told me they were seperated so i saw no problem with it. however, when we started living together her husband returns to the picture and was making life miserable for us so she decided to leave me and go back to her husband. the second time, She was my highscholl girlfriend. Her huisband was a bum so she left him for me. i gave her everything even bought her a car but then she left. The bottomline and what i learned from these experiences, no matter what you do things arent just right. go for someone single. its easier.

I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect partner marriage is hard and it takes work and getting involved with someone else will just make things worse I think she needs to talk to her husband and tell him what she needs instead of looking for it elsewhere especially with kids involved because they are the ones it hurts the most

I think this is called "human dissatisfaction" --- a person's failure to appreciate what he already have and the urge to keep looking for more. There is no such thing as a perfect partner, the same thing as there is no perfect person. Everyone has a positive and negative side of himself. Only through acceptance and the willingness to reconcile each other's differences will a marriage truly last. But reality is, this is much easier said than done. So if you want to fix a marriage that has gone sour, it is no doubt a challege.

I think there must be some deeper rooted cause for someone being like that. I don't know about affairs being justified but there are certainly reasons behind them usually. I think most cases are because of something going wrong in a current relationship but I don't understand why anyone would be always looking out for someone else, especially when they have children to think about. There must be something wrong with a person who sets out to have an affair. The best thing they can do is get to the root of the problem and find out what it is that they are really missing because it is usually something missing which makes people stray only they often don't realise what it is or how to get it.

I have never understood this either . When one person feels they have to look outside the marriage , then this is the time to let their spouse know that there are problems if they ever hope to work things out . There must have been something there at one point for them to marry each other so they really owe it to there spouse to know there are problems so they can work on this together . If you don't fee that you can work out a problem then you need to tell your spouse this and give them the chance to move on as well . I believe this is why it is so much harder when it comes time for a divorce as one has moved on and never bothered to tell the person they were in a relationship with making it harder on the person who thought things were still going fine and then one day they wake up to find their lives for the last number of months or years was all a lie .

there is no justification for an extra marital affair.i am totally against it and the thought of it makes me sick.people need to work things out rather than go out of a relationship to look for comfort somewhere else.i once read a beautiful story posted by one of the users as to how to make a relationship work.it was about a guy asking for a divorce from his wife.the wife requests her husband to be with her for a month and that he should carry her to the door everyday of the month just like he did on the marriage day.it is how it rekindles their relationship and how their marriage works.it was really touching and i think things like this must happen.people must try and work things out rather than going out of the realtionship.

I pretty much agreed with you, monkey. But for some reason, a lot of people continue to seek extra curricular activities outside of their marriage. The point here is that if you have high esteem for yourself, if you value morality and your reputation as well, then it is better to be straight all the way. If you are not happy with the marriage, is it better to lay all the cards on the table and be done with it. Some people find a lot of excuses why they are doing it. Marital squabbles, incompatibility, marrying for the wrong reason, or even loneliness. Others are doing it because they are always lured by temptation. If not for all the reasons I stated, then they are simply seeking for attention or are having some problems in their head. We will never know.

I dont know I should have asked my ex husband when he left me for his new found love hree yers ago... That reality really bites...and it bite so hard... Sometimes I dont know how to explain everything with my two kids..why their daddy is not staying with us... why are we alone in the house... why her classmate have daddy on their graduation day... Ive spent so many sleepless night... then one day... I realize that it happen because he is WEAK and he doesn't deserve a family... Right now... Im in a ne relationship and Im glad to say that we found a new home... Sometimes things happen for a reason we cant explain but whatever it is...in time you will know the reason why... And its a blessing in disguise most of the tme esp when you are the victim in the situation...

It sounds to me like your friend is in some serious need of counselling to figure out why he or she is unable to have a successful relationship. There is probably a reason that he or she can't find happiness with one person. As for whether or not there is any excuse for cheating, I have a whole article about it. The article is too long to type in here, but you can read it at http://www.helium.com/tm/140893/cheat-simple-question-respect (there are three other articles on the same topic that are linked from there, as well).