What do you do when being yourself isn't good enough anymore?

if he doesn't love her as she is then the answer that he does not love her ! yes that is true ,he love the person that he will make her like . no one should change him self or he will lost him self and will not know what he is any more , only the bad things have to change . please tell her that he does not love the person inside her .

it sounds to me like this isnt a very healthy relationship. two of my ex's were the same way. no matter what happened, it was always my fault. i was always the one that needed to change, while they were absolutely perfect and without fault. if she doesnt feel like she's good enough anymore, then she should get out of the relationship. no one has the right to make anyone feel that they aren't good enough. if you do feel that way, then you should do something about it so you don't feel that way. and in your friend's case i would get out of the relationship because it doesnt seem like a good relationship to be in.

it is perfect example of people who shouldn't be together...sooner or later they are going to have enough...and if someone argue to often means that relationship is sick to begin with....

id say he is just trying to control her, you wouldnt believe it but my partner said that to me not long after we got together and i said oh well like it or theres the door and you know what he got use to it lol and it was good enough for him. your friend can only be herself otherwise if she tries to be someone she isnt just to make him or anyone else happy she wont be happy herself.

erm.. this is a common case.. i think most of the couple will feel the same isn't it? not many can really accept their partner lifestyle eventhough they think they can... it seems like it's very easy to like someone.. and to go for a date.. but it's really difficult when you have to stay with someone having completely different lifestyle.. do you agree? i always think of such problems too.. and i think the only solution to this problem is that one has to tolerate with the other.. in this case.. i think the lady has to tolerate? it's good that both have demand on each other.. it's unfair for the lady to change only.. i think the man should do something too..

I think that it is not a relationship she should stay in. If he is trying to make her change, then to me it sounds like a way of controlling her. Then he will want to tell her what to wear, how to act, who to see and so on. I have a friend that was married to a man like this, they ended up divorcing because he told her if she could not change, then he would start spending time with people more his style. Well, he did, and she found out about all the affairs and instead of trying to change, and be meek and doing everything he said, she became stronger and filed for divorce. It was a long road, and her self esteem really dropped, because she too believed that she was not good enough. I hope your friend will be strong enough to help herself, good luck.

I hope they aren't married. She needs to drop him and find someone who can accept her for who she is. This guy is never going to be happy with her and to stay in that relationship would be to set herself up for bigger problems later. She would be better off to end it now and get it over with.

If I feel that I am not good enough for him, I leave.If he doesn't want me just the way I am, then why should I stay. I am not going to change, so I leave. If he doesn't want me, someone else will.

no yr "Myself" is the strongest word in ur life.So dnt ever do this.

The real question here is what do you do when somebody else wants you to change to make them happy? My answer would be to leave the relationship because the person does not love you for who you are so progressing with it is just going to be a waste of time.

We shuold all just be ourselves and if people like us great and if they don't well then they shuldn't be with us. Having said that it would depend on what this man wants her to change. If it is something that can hurt her for example if she has a drinking problem and he just wants her to get help because he loves her than I can understand him. But if he suddnely wants her to change something else just to conform for him to like her that is no good. I would not be with him if he can't make his mind up. He sounds controlling.

In a situation where being myself isn't good enough is a waste of my time and I will remove myself from that situation. I mean it is all about being real and not fake and to act another way besides the way u usually do would be totally fake and disrespectful to yourself so be yourself no matter what and if someone doesn't like it then move on from them.

There is nothing better than being yourself - if someone can't appreciate it, then they don't deserve to be around it. I know, from experience, that you need to love yourself before you can love another. If you love yourself, then you will find someone who loves you for who you are, not who they want you to be. If you need someone to change to love them, then they are not the one for you and visa vera - if they need you to change then you are not the one for them! Tell her she deserves better!!

well you know, when it is a desire for change it is inevitable for us to really be happy. We need people to accept us for who we truly are it's now a matter of change that can manipulate the whole thing to turn good. We have our own piece of humanity and in fact we have our own decision for ourselves. But this would still depend on the situation, whether it would make things better or worse.

I think she should call his bluff and tell him to leave then. He is just using it as a method of controlling her. He will soon turn abusive. i'll bet if you ask her, she will tell you that if she knows his parents, his father is exactly the same, controlling and his mother is a littlemouse who jumps at his every demand. Tell your friend to walk away while she still can.

The next time he says he'll leave.....ask him if he needs help packing! If being herself was good enough for him in the first place, why is it he always if blame-free and it's always her fault? And why does he want her to change now? If it's happening after only 9 months, I can only imagine how it will be if they stay together longer.

I think to work with any relationship both should change themselves a little bit.I Know its quite depressing for any girl to handle such situation .First of all she should be confident on herself that what is she doing with him is right or not. Some men just do not like arguement and debates on anything.Plus He knows her for 9 months now why he want to change her.Why don't he change himself if he loves her so much.I do not think that only one person should change.If you want things to really work out both should scan themselves and try to change accordingly NOT A GIRL ONLY SHOULD CHANGE.