How to deal with uninvited visits?

I think it is very inconsiderate, if not rude, behaviour on the part of your friends and family. First of all, I would change friends. The most important value in a friendship (or anywhere else for that matter) is respect. Those people obviously don't respect your time, your home, and therefor they don't repect you. It's a little bit more difficult with your familly, because you usually don't pick them. But be strong and TELL them. They might shun you for a time, but at least you gain their respect.

I can't stand when people just drop by. Constantly there is someone just dropping by because they want to say hi. Usually it is when we are in the middle of doing something that we don't want to be disturbed. Like talking to one of the children about something they have done wrong. I hate to be raude but I have to admit that a few times I refused to answer the door. A couple of weeks ago I put a note up on the door asking everyone not to knock that if they need to see one of us about something to please call and we will try to make time for them.

there are those who define close friendship as not having to ask permission to go to your house or look in your fridge, . if you were not close, they'd never think of doing such things. . . i think the difference in your situation is that you are no longer just by yourself in the house, meaning you have a family already. that's something your friends should consider also, that you might want to have a quiet time with your family. friends really should have a sensitivity to your want for privacy but you also have to give hints to it. if you'll act so hospitable that they wouldn't have a slightest idea that their visit was at a bad time, how would they know, right?

I will not go in a visit NEVER without a phone call before...just my mom and my aunt can come at me without a phone,whenever they want...but i am pretty crazy about uninvited visitators...my boyfriend is same with me and i guess is a minimum proof of education to call before go in visit... Well,you have to act educated...trade them with warm but say clear next time to come in visit just because tell you,because you can have another program...this is what i did... augusta

I was raised in a home totally opposite to this. My mom and dad always said that our door is always open, and that philosophy has stayed with me through my life. We do have a lot of friends and family drop by unannounced, most of them are neices that are single mothers and struggling on their own. Yes, it is almost always at meal time and I always make extra because I never know if anyone will drop by. I would rather be put out because they did not call ahead, than have to worry if they or there children have eaten that day. But, we also have some friends that just divorced and one or the other of them always show up at our door about 20 minutes after we have gotten home from work and that is a pain in the rear. We are trying to get supper ready, and homework done, so I did put my foot down to them. But, they both are rude enough, and strong headed enough to go ahead and keep coming, so we lock the door and ignore it. The husband this week has taken to peeking in our windows and yelling "I know you are in there." Some people just seem to not have a clue! But, outside of those two, I always have my door open to the uninvited guest.

My good friends often give me a call first when they decide to visit me. But some friends who I dislike visit me without any call. I will be very angry if someone knocks the door when I am sleeping. If I don't open the door for him/her, he/she will knock it again and again. All of my friends know that I'm not an early riser, so they are sure I must be at home in the morning.If they really have some trouble, I can forgive them. But never. For those persons I dislike, they dont think they can find me if they don't come my house early. Usually, I don't refuse someone's request in front of him/her, but I will refuse directly by phone. Have you met someone who often need your help? Frankly, i'm afraid of those people. Once you have a contact with them, you dont want to get rid of them unless you break the relations.

Well,yes there are times I have experienced this...but we cannot ask the person who visits to leave.. we just let them be..and just wait for them to leave..It is not nice to ask them to leave so we just go with the flow.

that really i s annoying, well probably you haven´t even suggested that you feel a little uncomfortable with that visit, you should find the way to let them know you need to be told when someone is gooing to visit you ´ without being rude.

You have to make it known that you expect a phone call before any one shows up at your door, It is only good manners to call ahead and if your company will not do this meet them at the door and say sorry I can not invite you in as I was not expecting company and I will not have any one see my home the way it is right now, If they say they do not mind, tell them thanks but you do, Do not let them in, and I promise the next time they will call first, all you have to do is stand firm, and this goes for any one friends or family. Your home your rules.

this would be so maddening for me. My home is my castle and I prefer to only let people in when they have an appointment. If I were you, I just woudn't answer the door. I NEVER do, EVER. I don't care if they know I'm home. If they call and say "Why didn't you answer the door" you can say "Sorry I was busy, Next time it's best if you call first" The other thing you can do is ask them to call first before they drop by another time. Tell them exactly what you said in your post. Theres nothing wrong with that. Just say it. Politely but firmly.

I would quite frankly tell them to leave.. I value my alone time with my husband very high, and actually prefer to see friends only when it's planned, for example if I invite them over on a friday for dinner. Otherwise I would just say that sorry, I'm tired, I prefer being alone..

That's a really hard question as the situation is awkward no matter what you do. I think you just have to explain to them that now is not a good time, straight forward, without nice language. You just have to say it. If they were considerate, they would ask you first. Since they're not, the only solution is to tell them the honest truth. Good luck.

I also have lots of experiences in this. Some of my old high school classmates for example will suddenly arrive at home without warning, thus making me feel awkward that I am not able to cater to them. This always seem to happen on times when I'm doing something important and I just don't know how to be hospitable at the same time. What I do is to leave the TV or the computer on and let them have their way while I do my own stuff, offer them food once in a while and listen and occasionally answer.

I think that this happens to most of us.some of our relatives and friends expect us to be sweet and hospitable to them all the time.They simply don't understand that we should be known abt their visits. Tell them that you don't want any friends or relatives to disturb youw when you're spending time with your family.It's a basic manner to call or to ring you before they arrive to your home,if you tell them abt this they can understand,becoz they would have been in the same situation at some moment.

I moved way out of the main stream just to avoid these situations. Nobody comes to my house without calling first to make sure i'm here, otherwise they might have wasted a trip!

Sometimes this happens to me. I just don't answer the door. They assume I'm not home and they leave. If you don't want to do that, then put a sign on your door "please don't disturb" or something like that. I think it would be easier just to ignore them knocking on the door. They will go away.

Fortunately we dont have experience like that and if that happens i think we will just dont mind it because we are six in the family and i think one of us can entertain them or fix the mess in our house.We can do help each other.

no yr,if they r nearer & dearer 2 u den its ok. else its there fault.

i have such a experience,but when someone visit my house in evening,so the time they visit is my rest time,but most of them will give me a phone to visit my house,and i will have the time to lean up my house.if they visit you house in the wrong time,you should give them advice to give you the hint when the visit you.

hmm good topic its fun to hav uninvited guest especially u studying u get a chance to close ur books and chitoo chat lol.... well i just offer them galss of water thats it lol hehehehhe..