Is anyone else dealing with your boyfriend/fiance/husband going overseas?
@Texassulcatas (88)
United States
May 6, 2007 1:59pm CST
I just recently found out that my boyfriend will be going overseas and it is really causing me to have serious panic issues. I have a panic disorder already but I have found that I am becoming consumed with fears since his leave date is up and coming. I moved almost 2,000 miles away from my family to be with him only to find out a few weeks later that he is leaving in a few months. We are building our first home so I cannot go back to my home state to be with my family while he is away. I do not know how to deal with what I am feeling. Has anyone else experience this type of situation? What did you do to help you cope?
1 response
@CritterKeeper (519)
• United States
6 May 07
Oh dear me yes, I've dealt with this!! I had a husband in the military, I also have panic disorder, and couldn't go home to my family!! Is your boyfriend in the military? If so there are quite a few benefits you can get from there. Do you have friends, neighbors, belong to a church, etc. where you can call for a little "backup" if you need it? Do you see a doctor/therapist that you can just kind of unload to? Do you take medication?
Hopefully this will cheer you up a bit but when my husband was gone for about a year overseas I actually found myself better and stronger than ever before! It was really rough at first but I had my children and was running an animal rescue at the time so I had to stay busy. After awhile I realized that I was doing just fine on my own! I was taking care of everything, nothing was just blowing up in my face, and I managed any challenges that came up just fine all on my own! It did WONDERS for my confidence and ego!!
I find often times that concentrating on helping others less fortunate than me really helps take my mind off of such worries as this. For me it was my animal rescue but what are you interested in? There's many opportunities to volunteer and it's a wonderful way to help yourself as you help others!
@CritterKeeper (519)
• United States
6 May 07
Ahh I'm sorry, I should've read your tags! It looks like your boyfriend is military! I'm guessing you're in Texas by your screen name. Is he stationed at Ft. Hood by any chance? If so I'm local and would be happy to help in some way if you need it!
@Texassulcatas (88)
• United States
8 May 07
I wish I still were in Texas. My whole family is there. I moved to Idaho two months ago to be with my boyfriend. Luckily his family is here so I'm not totally alone but it is not the same as having my own family around. We just started building our home and I have to be the one "in charge" while he is away so I cannot go home. We also have a few cows that I am responsible for taking care of that keeps me tied here. I did just start taking meds again for the panic issue so I'm hoping it helps . Hopefully when they really kick in and I start feeling better I can go get a job. Right now I would just end up getting fired for being a freak show with my little attacks. I can only hope that I make it through as well as you did. There is nothing I can do to remedy his leaving, I am just trying to figure out how to prepare myself. Thank you for offering your friendship at Ft.Hood too! It would have been nice.
@CritterKeeper (519)
• United States
8 May 07
Awwww I was so sure you'd be local so I could loan you a shoulder to lean on. Well I'm still here online if you need someone who's been there, done that :) I'll private message you my email address. Hopefully it'll make you feel a tiny bit better.
I know it's not really the same warm, safe, comfy feeling of your own family but it's good that his family will be there for you. Almost as soon as my husband left one of the pipes under our house broke! I was so worked up at first thinking "what the heck do I do now?????!!!" but I made myself take a good look at it, thought for a bit, and ended up fixing it just fine all by myself! It was another big confidence booster! But with fix-it things like that I'm sure his family would help you out.
Hun, one thing I've learned in all my years of having this is you've got to be gentle with yourself. You're not a "freak show"!! I know how hard having it is and how easy it is to think that way but be kind to yourself. What would you think if you had ANY other illness or injury like diabetes or a broken arm? You wouldn't think you were a freak then, would you? Panic disorder is no different! You didn't ask to have it, it's just another type of illness, and you go on and do the best you can do to live a full, happy life in spite of it. (((((((hugs))))) to you.
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