How can you improve how your children get along???

I have the same problem with my 10 yer old & 14 yr old. My 10 year old has ADD, and my 14 yr old well the worst thing about him is that he will hold in his anger and let it all build up and then when he lets out he'll break something not meaning to just out of anger. The best advice I can give you is to just tell you what I do with mine. They fight constantly and are always in competition with each other. It frankly gets very nerve racking and I'm not tolerating it anymore. So I send them both to their rooms or separte one to their room and one to another room in another part of the house. I make them do their homework separately. One comes home at 2:35, so I make him do his homework, then when his sister gets home at 4:00 she does her homework and can go out and play or watch tv until it's time for dinner. I just try to give them each choice as to what they can do, but usually not together. They will occasionally "play nice" and then theres some harmony, but for the most part they each do their own thing away from each other. When we are all together as a family, I've sent them to their room during dinner for fighting with each other (mostly arguing) and I've told them I'm not going to tolerate it anymore they will just get sent to another room and miss out on whatever family activity is going on. It's been working, and they are starting to come around. My real problem is that my 10 year old thinks she should get all the same priveledges as my 14 year old, and the 14 year old makes fun of her because she cant do everything he can, etc. etc. etc.!!LOL. It's just a constant competition, with no one really ever winning anything! I have told them a million times that they need to love each other and respect the differences, and try to find something you like about the other and then concentrate on that (positive) and if they dont have something nice or constructively nice to say, dont say anything then and walk away from them. And if they dont do this and go into an argument or fight then they are both punished....start taking toys away or video games, etc., sending them into time out in the corner,LOL (my 14 year old hates this, but it works!) they'll learn your not going to tolerate this and that you love them both just the same and aren't playing favorites (mine like to use that guilt trip all the time!!) I try to make everything as fair as possible, I wear my "referee outfit" LOL everyday!