how do I get my girls to mind

What works is raising their awareness and raising your own. They don't listen because there aren't clear and firm consequences for not listening. What you do is tell them you will only tell them something twice. The second time you tell them say "This is the second time I'm telling you to..." When you tell them the third time say "This is the third time I'm telling you." At that point they either get a time-out or lose a privelege AND you take them by the hand and watch them do what you told them to do after their time out. If you make it worth their while to be obedient and you're careful never to tell them more than three times they'll start to listen and obey because there are clear and firm consequences in place. Ignore all the tears and sob stories and "I didn't hear you the first time!" They'll try to get out of the consequences but don't let them out. Teach them the value of being responsible.

How about reversing the situation. Prehaps you could throw a deaf ear when its something important to them. Then when they have had long enough to be annoyed by it they will understand why its not fair to treat mum that way.

hi! Never ever let your little princessess doubt that you are in charge. The number 1 problem causing little people to shut off is not following through with what you say because kids can predict your actions. If you consistently follow through with what you say you will do, they will never doubt who is the boss. When Mum threatens to take action over and over but never actually follow through, the kids learn very quickly not to bother listening anymore. Maintain eye contact, even by holding their little chin in your hands, get down at their level and speak steadly, confindently and clearly. All the best! Mel ( Mum of 3)