it's better to leave than being left...

i can relate to that cherrie. i have always wanted to leave, thought it was just time to do that. every day i would think i would do that, before he actually does. but,. sadly, i couldn't, i still love him. however, he could do it without any inhibition, without any consideration. love, dependence, unsaid promises have got no value afterall!! i was being left, left all alone... so dear, while its always advisable to leave WITH REASONS before being left, a few can actually do it. and my heart goes out for them. cheer up sweetie. hugs and love

I want to leave rather than being left. Although the you still feel the hurt, leaving someone will definitely giving you the confidence that you can be on your own, without that special someone of yours, because you have the courage to be apart from him, while leaving you is more traumatic because you did not expect that to happen, it is very hard to move on.

I think if it will be an abusive relationship, definitely I will be the one to leave...but if I will be the one left behind, then it is his lost...he will never know how it is to spend the rest of his life with me. And I know karma will get him if I haven't done anything wrong.

Well Im really sorry for you my frined. I'd rather be the one who will leave than being the one who is left behind. Even when someone close to me goes somewhere or would travel out of the city or country is something that I hate remembering even when I was a child. I like it when Im the one leaving I fee more confident and I dont bother htose who are left behind. Thank you for this great discussion.

THere are three sides of truth. one wat u r thinking, 2nd wat ur partner thinks and 3rd wot the truth is! Instead of thinking on these lines, why not think of patching it up. its like if u know wat the problem is, u can always solve it..rite??? neways if u are determined to quit, i would still sugest u to wait..be mentally prepared but dont disclose, wat if he changes his mind at last moment! i still wish u too to be together..some times it is just our thought tht make the situation worse! anyways..cheers! best of luck!

whichever way to break up would make me very sad if i still love the guy.so leaving or being left doesnt make a difference to me.but in your case,i can tell being left at that time is like a desaster.

I would rather be the one leaving then being left. I guess because that is how my ex husband and my ex boyfriend did be they both left me. My ex boyfriend I'm not really mad at or my ex. husband anymore just hurt.

I can consider such situation as "rejection". And its really true that it extremely hurts when you encounter such an event. It seems that the world has ended and you suffered a lot. Either you left or being left, there is always rejection. But i think if you're the one to leave, there is less hurt feelings that you may feel. But if in such a case that you're the one being left, please don't turn the clock down. Its just a challenge that God is confident that you can carry over it. So, if God is confident that you can battle for it, then why dont you?

Sorry to hear that cherriemae. I don't think I would like either as it would be difficult for anyone to go through, leaving someone or having someone leave you. I wouldn't want that on anyone!

Sometimes it is tough either way you go about it depending upon the situation.

It is within the norms of the society that women should do the leaving and guys must wait for women to leave them. It was said that it's more shameful for women to be left by a man.. but I don't believe this; thus, as much as I hurt when a guy leaves me, I'm sure a guy hurts too when I left him. For me, it's not really important who left who, as long as we talked about it, as long as we decided it mutually. I don't mind hearing things like "poor girl, her bf left her for someone else" as far as I'm concern, the relationship will soon come to an end and I'm just happy it ended.

Sorry to hear that your bf left you in times like that. I do both leaving and being left. I think it's both hard. To leave, it's hard because you know the person is still into you, just that you don't feel the same anymore. You have to deal with the end carefully in order not to hurt the person and you have to find a better timing for things to end. Then, you might have to deal with all those crying and "why why why" thing. It's not easy. Being left is more like a "sudden surprise" to me. Somewhat, it makes you feel "unwanted" or "abandoned" and it's hard to deal with these feelings. For me I don't have a preference, they both suck anyway [I would prefer a relationship to work *laughs*].

This is a tough one because I have always been the stronger one in a relationship, and I never let myself completly fall for someone. I hide my feelings a lot however being pregnant is a hard choice and if you truely do think it is the right choice and would benefit you and your baby then do it don't wait for him to decide to leave. Most of the time it is better for you to leave a lot of times that will make him realize what he had and if he wants it back or needs to make some changes he will then. Things might turn our for the better. Think about what is going to make you a stronger person for you and your baby.

I prefer to be the one left. At least, I won't feel guilty. I didn't do anything unpleasant to anyone.

When you leave, this saves your ego, your pride and sometimes you think that the choice is yours. But if the relation is real, there is no matter who leaves, both of them suffer.

It's always harder to be the one left alone, than it is to be the one leaving. When you are the one that leaves, there is a sense of self empowerment, and more than likely a major sense of satisfaction that you are heading off to make a better life for yourself, while "that loser" is left sitting alone and moping and pining away for you (or at least you hope that's what he/she is doing).

I never had any experince of anyone leaving me but I know i would be hurt and sad.

Any breakup is hard espically if the woman is pregnant. I think he is a slim ball for leaving you when you are pregnant. I am sorry to hear it. I have very little expirence with break ups I will be celebrating my 30th wedding aniversery this September. Good luck with the baby. Sorry you are alone

Yes, I agree with you. Its easier for me to walk away than to be dumped. It was a pride thing in the past, I would prefer to feel like it was my idea. But now that I am married, I really hope that NEVER happens. I love my husband, so he better not ever leave me :)

One time in my life, I also experienced being left by my boyfriend. Not that he broke up with me but he left because he had to work abroad. It was a painful experience for me. I cried all day and night since he left. I know since then that it is harder to deal with if you are the one being left. I would rather be the one who leaves than the one being left.