Do You Feel Guilty When You Say No To Your Kids?

When my children try to play the guilt card after I tell them no about something I will point out to them that they have a lot more toys and thingd then I did when I was their age. Then I tell them that I guess it is time for them to experience childhood like I did. Usually the will apologize. I made them live without most of their stuff for a month so that they could see what it was like for me.

Hello,wachit14, i do not have any kids but i agree with you that nowadays the kids do not treasure what they have now,they think cell phones and luxuries as usual things. May be it is the time to day no to the kids or they will be spoiled and their satisfaction can never be fulfilled. One way is to ask the kids to work and earn money for themselves so that they know it is really hard to make money and they will know how to spend money wisely.

No, I never felt guilty when I said No to my kids, that is my job as a parent! As long as their basic needs are met, there is no to feel guilty. My son used to try that all of the time. He tried the guilt trip on me, in particular the video game thing. He got one, his first one for his 13th birthday. He had whined and moaned and groaned for one for years. Then one day, he found out that Prince William got one for his 13th birthday, I told him, he was shocked...he then frigured what was good enough for a prince was good enough for him. We went through this a lot, some times I said No due to economics, sometimes it was just common sense, he wanted a new expensive car when I bought him one, instead he got a 14 year old 4 door Toyota...it did what it needed to do. He learned to appreciate what he got. Stand your grounds on body piercings!

Let me get this right...you told your daughter she COULD get her navel pierced, but then you changed your mind? I can see why she got upset. I would have too as a kid if my parents said I could do/have something, then change their mind. Wouldn't you do the same if you were in her shoes? Now as far as the navel piercing goes, I personally don't care for it, but if she really wants one, why can't she wait until she is 18? And heck, maybe she won't even want one by then. :P Hopefully your daughter won't go against your wishes and get it done anyway... I always feel guilty if I told my kids yes, then later change my mind and say no. It's rare, but it has happened. But if I told my kids no to begin with then I rarely feel guilty.

Yes, I do, and it is as much my own fault as any trip they try to lay on me. I dn't know why, but I prety much always take pity on them. I might not act on it, but I always feel the guilt. They know it, too, and they try to work it. The worst part is when they act all forlorn and say, "No, no, I don't mind. It's ok" |or things to that effect. The little devils. I agree, I think they have so much, they have a hard time understanding that they can't have everything. I am just so glad mine aren't as bad as some!

my child is 9 months old now, definitely he cant understand me if i say now but i hope when that day comes, He'll understand me because im doing that not for me but to himself

At the age of fifteen I thought I knew everything...I was wrong.As her parent I would say you have every right to tell her "no" and not feel guilty.One of the biggest lessons in life is to learn that we can't always get our way...right? Hold your ground :)

oh yeah. But we have to say no adn if we don't then they would be wild or something and I know it feels bad when you say no, they have to understand why you say no.

I am unsure of why you would be ok with the belly button piercing & then not be - you need to speak to someone who does the piercing coz as the saying goes 'you cant believe everything you read'! Ask a few piercers & get a bit of information from them about how everything goes before you say 100% no - there's no pain, i have never had an infection & mines only out coz of my pregnancy. I had it done when i was 16 & everything has been good - i had more problems with a piercing at the top of my ear than i did with my belly button. I wouldn't allow everything either - handbags, ipods, phones etc but piercings are much cheaper, they can be removed & you could find that after a while your daughter will change her mind about it. If you do allow her to do it, make sure that you make her pay for it to be done too! Good Luck!

I don't feel guilty saying "no" to my kid if I know that the favor she is asking for doesn't really matter. We just can't simply give them whatever they want.

Well when my children were younger I felt guilty at first but when I realized how spoiled I was making them and how bratting they were becoming it got easier and easier to say no. I found that they appreciate more when you make them earn things and somethings are just not necessary for children to have, I make them understand the value of a dollar and that they should concentrate on needs more than wants. And things that are of great value they can not have until the show responsible behavior of taking care of such items, I start with something small and inexpensive.

I really feel guilty at times when I say no to my children. What I do is sit down with them and talk to them about things that can be given or not, what things can be harmful to them and how it affects them. There are things that could be owned and some that can be gained. It is only for their own good that they don't get the things they want so easily.

I don't feel guilty when I have to tell my children no. I sit them down and explain why I told them no at that time. I offer to rethink my answer to the question at a later date. Often they forget to ask me again later.

I don't feel guilty for saying "no" when it's for their benefit. Kids/parents/whoever can only make you feel guilty if you allow it. If you know you're doing the right thing, just block out the whining/crying/tantrums and any other attempts to manipulate.

I don't have kids, but I do have parents. Guilt is what humans do to eachother. Whether it's kids guilting parents or parents guilting kids, guilt is dangerous!! I flipped my guilt switch years ago. When someone starts to ATTEMPT a guilt trip on me, I just ignore them!!! They're less likely to get what they want if they attempt guilt.

I don't know where you live, but most places won't do a naval piercing on kids before they are 16 . Tell your daughter that she will NEVER get one if she doesn't stop being rude. You've let her away with guilting you into things in the past, You MUSY stop this behaviour now. MOST kids don't have naval piercings, despite whatyour daughter says, andshe won't be a social outcast. Simply tell her the discussion is over and if she is goingto bring itup again, you will have to punish her, then do so, in what ever manner you do for being rude.