How can I make it through this???

It is not your fault that you cannot have a baby. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. It does not mean that you are so horrible that if you were granted a full pregnancy, your child would turn into John Gacy or someone like that, nor does it mean that if your child was born, that you would develop severe post partum depression and kill your baby. Most infertile couples feel that way that God did not grant them pregnancy because they would harm their child or their child would be like Adolph Hitler. You may have a gift that you would be very good adoptive parents. A lot of people cannot bond with another's infant, but you may have the gift of bonding. I hope you look into adoption. I know it helped me and it may be that you would say as I did, "my children are so much like me that I have to pinch myself to know that I did not give birth to them."

I don't know exactly what this problem is or why you have it. I do not believe it is punishment from God. You might want to ask your husband how he feels about it. There are always solutions to any problem, including this one. If you can't have kids, and you really want to, then you might be able to adopt or find some other way to start a family. Don't focus so much on the problem, but on the possible solutions.

Has your doctor mentioned taking heparin injections for your clotting disorder. I belong to a miscarriage board, and this is a common problem that is easily cured. Well it's not common, but on my miscarriage board it is common. I'm really sorry for this, but please try not to give up hope yet. The fact that you now know WHY you are having trouble having a baby, is the first step to fixing it.

I'm so sorry for your loss! Learning this kind of news is learning about the deaths of all your children at the same time. Every baby you imagined ever having is alive in your heart, and now they're gone! It's very sad and very hard. Talking to your husband about it will help him as much as it will you. Don't leave him out! Together you can get through this, and maybe even find a solution -- a surrogate mother, perhaps? As women we are raised with the idea that we'll eventually have kids, that a big part of our identities are tied to having babies. Finding out that your body is not going to cooperate is shattering! Whatever happens, know that you are not alone, and give yourself permission to grieve this terrible loss. P.S. God loves you! He/she has some reason for this happening to you, we just won't know what that reason is for awhile.

I can understand that you are feeling frustrated and sad on your condition. Please don't feel that it's a punishment from God. When His children cry, He cries even louder because He loves us. If you are a christian, do pray continously and also request to have corporate prayer to heal you and bless you with healthy, beautiful children in coming years. I went thru the hardship of infertility. I was diagnosed with endometriosis. It was a tough moment especially knowing that my husband loves children. I never gave and keep seeking for God's healing and requested for corporate prayer. The following month after the corporate prayer, I got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She's 14 months now, whenever I see her, I see God's blessing.