God's Gift

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This put a smile on my face and i had to share it. I'd love to know what you thought of this lol. xx God's Gift He never wields a razor never bothers with foam or hot towels, his 'tache is disguising a weak upper lip and his beards hiding pimples and jowls. His stomach is grossly distended tho' he can just about see his feet, he balances mirrors upon his toes to admire his 'three piece suite'. He thinks he's 'Gods gift' to women who're begging to be fondled and kissed, needless to mention, to want his attention you'd have to be 'Brahms and Liszt'. He enjoys sneaking up on women who are bending to reach the low shelves, the lucky ones hear him coming and automatically brace themselves. It's not heavy breathing that alerts his prey nor the sound of his feet as they land, it's his excited heart audibly beating like the bass of a 'heavy rock' band. This bloke seems obsessed with Viagra I think his libido is low, but he must remember, both he and his member are approaching the 'Big Five'O'. He's started to ridicule women one was nude, on all 4's on his mat when he told his dog, "Prince, if you don't eat your mince, you're gonna look just like that. He's offered girls lifts home from parties suggesting 'a bit of the other', but most decline, they'd rather spend time with Norman Bates .. and his 'mother'.