Do you let relatives live with you?
@surveygirl2003 (169)
United States
May 9, 2007 10:08am CST
I'm at a loss here. I've been married for 5 1/2 years and my younger brother has lived with me for 3 years of that!! Everytime he leaves I say to myself he's never going to live with us again! And well he's back again and married this time! My husband is suggesting that we live in a 1 bedroom apartment again, so my brother will not have a room then.
How would you tell him to grow up and get a life without sounds like a witch?
2 people like this
5 responses
@nurhoney (1123)
• Philippines
9 May 07
wow...thats a big problem. We only let relatives live with us when they come here for a vacation, one week tops. I think when you get married already...it means that its time for you to move out and find your own place for you and your family to leave. It wouldnt be fair for the family who owns the house when your there to stick with them all the time. You dont need to sacrifice your home to change it to a one bedroom apartment coz that wouldnt be fair for your husband. What you need to do is talk to your brother and let him understand that you and your husband needs privacy and your own space. I hope he would understand your point.
@surveygirl2003 (169)
• United States
9 May 07
I think the biggest problem is that he's the "baby" of the family and my mom babied him way too much over the years. My mom told my husband and I that when we got married we better have a place of our own and we've never looked back since.
Haha it was my husband's idea to get the 1 bedroom apartment when we move closer to home in June. Me....I want a bigger place, so we can start our own family.
1 person likes this
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
9 May 07
I often wish my girlfriend would do that with her brother. He lived with us for nine months. He didn't pay for anything, nothing towards bills, food anything. He wouldn't help clean anything, do laundry, dishes , I mean nothing. When he finally moved out I was happy. She promised that he wouldn't be allowed to live here again. I wouldn't have minded if he pitched in and helped to atleast clean up his own mess. Did I mention he is 37 years old?
While I think that its is nice to help a family member out I also think that there should be some limits set.
2 people like this
@surveygirl2003 (169)
• United States
9 May 07
Yikes! 37? That can not be good! I thought it was bad that my brother is 25!
1 person likes this
@gcarrie (40)
• Philippines
9 May 07
have you tried talking to him? are you open to each other? if yes, you can explain to him that you both have your own families now. and your own family is your priority now. same goes for him. communication is very important. just always keep your cool. show your brother how serious you are and how important this matter to you.
@surveygirl2003 (169)
• United States
9 May 07
We do talk and somehow I always get "buffalo-ed" into letting him stay again. The staying calm is always a tough thing to do because he just doesn't listen! Hey at least this time he's paying rent and has a wife to clean up after him.
1 person likes this
@siddhinfo (1500)
• India
28 May 07
Why not I will allow only if the relatives is in need of the shelter or he is helpful to me. If he is the burden I will not.
@applsofgld (2506)
• United States
9 May 07
If it were me, I would just honestly tell your brother that you are having a tough time and that you and your hubby need to make it together and need the space and time to yourselves and that he will have to get his own place or go live with his wife's relatives. Plain and simple. Just be totally honest with him. He can't deny that most couple need to have their own space or there will definitely be problems. Good luck!
