Ma Ma told me not to hate
By kitkat1
@kitkat1 (1227)
Canada
May 10, 2007 7:59pm CST
I would say after someone had done me wrong i really hate that person but my mom told me that it is not right to do that. She told me that hating someone only hurts the person that is doing the hating and that I should not hate them but feel sorry for them because they have such a lousy life that they try to make other feel bad to make themselves feel better. Mom said it is like they are jealous of what another has and wants to beat them down to their size. Do you really think that people are jealous of you when they do mean things to you? What reasons do you think people have for things they have done to you in life? Is it ever ok to hate?
4 people like this
13 responses
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
11 May 07
I don't think people should hurt anyone for any reason.
I personally would do all I can not to hurt anybody until they hurt me first, of course I made mistakes too like everyone else and that would be the time I accept they hurting me, it's my own doing anyway.
It's true that hating will only hurt you, so don't hate or get mad, but do get even :) My own life is not easy so I wouldn't appreciate people hurting me just because their lives are not easy. If these people hurt you because they are jealous then make them even more jealous LOL you don't lose anything this way
@jmcafam (2890)
• United States
11 May 07
Hate in my home is a very big word. I have only really hated one person. Yes, she was jealous of myself and my hubby. This person almost caused my hubby to miss the birth of our first child. She had done other things to get me upset as well. I think if a person wrongs you just because then there is something wrong with them to treat you that way and not you.
2 people like this
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
11 May 07
I agree with your mom- It isn’t right to hate- Hate is such a strong emotion- I do think it is ok to dislike- I do agree that some people do hateful things because they want you to look bad- More than likely you are doing something better than they are so they are mean- Makes sense- and some other people are just hateful by nature- they could have the nicest things and life and just be hateful- Either way it is wrong!
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
11 May 07
I think you can hate a behavior without hating the person who does the behavior. But it takes a lot of maturity and personal growth. You have to be really sure of yourself and your faith to let go of needing to hate the person.
People do hurtful things for all kinds of reasons. But when they do, it really isn't about you. It is about them, like your mother says. They choose behaviors to either avoid discomfort or to create comfort for themselves. What they believe about you may or may not be true. But it is what they believe that they use to make their choices of behaior toward you.
So, it is healthier for us to let go of our anger/hurt and go on with our lives. They will have to live with their consequences.
1 person likes this
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
11 May 07
Soon after responding to your discussion I got the following email and thought it appropriate:
Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument; and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one who got lapped was hurt, but without saying anything wrote in the sand:
"Today my best friend slapped me in the face."
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowining, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
"Today my best friend saved my life".
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone. Why?"
The friend replies "when someone hurts us we should write it down in sand, where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
Learn to write your hurts in sand and to carve your benefits in stone.
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
12 May 07
Excellent post/ Your mom is right, hating some one hurts you far more than them. Because it consumes your mind and heart. I would suppose that I would rather pity someone rather than hate them, but I personally prefer to give then no thought at all. Cut them out of my life and mind. If you neglect and do not acknowledger some thing it will cause the most pain and if You check your history books the act of shunning was used extensively in some religions on persons who were considered by that religion to be punished. It was and in some instances still used. And I can find no fault with it. but that is just my opinion
@anku888 (136)
• India
11 May 07
Your mom is right hurting someone means you want to get
rid of your unhappiness.If you hate someone whether it hurts them or not it certainly hurts you becoz you have to lose somuch of your energy and time in that useless action
but don't try to control it becoz it will just sink inside you and then it'll come outside the other day. If people are angry with you then they will hurt you so be detached from outsiders even if they are your friends or relatives becoz being a little bit detached from humans .
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
11 May 07
Hi Kat, Yes well your mother was a very wise woman to teach you this and it is true that it is not good for our own lives to hate someone. And of course they must be jealous of us to try and make us feel bad about our own lives. I do think that we can dislike someone or something but not really hate someone as Jesus teaches us not to hate.
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
11 May 07
I think it would be more okey if you are angry at the person who had done you wrong than hating that person. Anger will pass but hate has a tendency to take its root. When it becomes rooted in you, it destroys you and would affect you. Those people who are hateful actually people needs help because they have lots of issues that they have to deal with themselves. Just remain positive and don't let hateful people affect you.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
11 May 07
"Hate" is a very strong word.
There's an old saying: "Anger is like acid. It only corrodes the vessel it is IN." I think the same can pretty much be applied to anger.
Most of the time, when someone has issues with YOU, it's because they have issues of their own. If they want to "cut you down to size," it's because they are uncomfortable with someone who seems a little different from them. It's rarely "about you," but rather about them having to look at their own "bag of goods."
1 person likes this
@easyzheng (666)
• China
11 May 07
YOur mom is right to give you this advice. I told the same thing to my kid too. In this world, everyday people like you and me are continuing to do wrong thing on purpose or by accident. If one should hate others because they have done something wrong to you, and others would hate you as you can forever avoid doing wrong things to the others, this world would be full of hatred everywhere. Learn to forgive others and be kind to those who have done anything bad to you, you'll make yourself a noble person and get respect from others, which in turn will make yourself happy too.
1 person likes this
@shinjiao (1457)
• China
11 May 07
Hate is the most serious word in my mind.I don't want to hate anyone.Sense of hate is a powerful strength which can make people involve into a bottomless hole.Once a person begins to hate someone, his or her life is still with revenge.The world in the his or her eyes are dark and hopeless.Hate makes people lose themselves.So I think your mama is right.Don't hate someone.
