Abused Friend

So sorry to hear that your friend is in that situation. She needs to get out of where she is because next time it may not be almost broken. May be you could find some contact numbers of counselors in the area that may help in her situation. Just remind her that she is a strong woman and does not need a man that hurts her.

I think your friend is quite attached to him and she would need an advice from a psychologist and be made realized that she is really abused and should not tolerate this. I see that she has already confused how normal relationship works.

Oh, for God`s sake! Again and again this Stockholm syndrome where the women love and protect their aggressor.And the undestanding that the men are STRONG gender and that`s why they are allowed to use their brute force. And sick and tired of explanations like this "he helps me financially and i have secure life" Sorry to say, i react allways emotionally, but is she a slave and he pays for a slave at home? If she doesnt respect herself, nobody can help.

Rozie your friend has to realize that she is a good person and she can do better. I would try to get her to meet other people hey maybe you can intruce her to someone you might know. Now what do you think of that idea?

I will one of the saddest people under the sun. Of course I will go the goodness of my friend and i wont let him/her feel hurt and sad. But it would be tough if inspite of the bad things he/she experience, she/he still love being in that way. True, it would be difficult to take away that person you wanted to be in what you recommend for him/her when she/he himself can't do against because she/he finds comfort in it.

Keep doing what you are doing that is all you can do voice your opinions and being there for your friend as much as you can. I do find that people in abusive relationships are hard to get through too for many reasons. If your friend has low self esteem sometimes in here head she may feel that she deserves what she gets. The sad part is too that if they are lucky enough to get out of an abusive situation and get into another the other is abusive to it is like they are attracted to it and it is a vicious cycle. Try building your friend up tell her all the good in her and keep ragging on her dont stop.

i would talk to her about it. i would tell her that it is not worth to love someone who abuses you. she does not need that kind of person in her life and she deserves someone better. she should leave that guy. there would be other guys out there that will love her and protect her.

I am sorry to hear that. There must be something wrong with that guy. For me I will not trust to the guy that hurt his love one. Actually, I had a friend that been in the similar situation. I tried so hard to tell her without not hurting her. But some persons screw up and made another story of me. In the other words she misunderstood on me. right now on she be with that man, he does not work and she is the one who works and earn for their life.

Your friend has to realise that there is so much in life other than him. There is no need to be so dependent on a man who doesnt Love her but even abuses her. Some people dont have the emotional intelligence to understand the facts and your advice may just seem something alien to her until she herself decides that there is a limit even in relations. She does really need a friend in such tiring situation. She has become so dependent on him, has made her life so much centered on him that to suddenly leave him would seem as a situation not worth living. It will take time for her to accept the fact and during that time she needs her best friend to be with her giving her emotional support and trying to bring her out. Your efforts may not instantly give results, but sooner or later she is sure to realise and will come out of it. Its just a matter of time.

You need to help her. SHe needs the saving. Forget him. He is lost already. She needs to get out of that stuaion. i know she feels likehe is the only man out there that will want her, but she is wrong. You need to tell her this. She needs to know she can find someone who is good to her and won't treat her this way.

You are very perceptive in your evaluation of her relationship with this man who is abusing her. Perhaps she feels comfortable being a victim and that is why she feels she needs to be with him. Nevertheless, this is a very dysfunctional relationship. There's really nothing more you can do for her other than be there for her when she needs you. Hopefully, she will remove herself from a bad situation before it's too late.

Being a woman who was with an abusive man for 7 years I can tell you that you can talk until your blue in the face and the only way it will change is if she wants it to. Ofcourse the only way to get him to stop is to literally have the holy crap beat out of him with a clear message to never touch her again because that is all these men understand, but if she finds out this was done she will hate you. ALWAYS report every incident to the police... but only if she is telling enough people otherwise she will know it was you and stop talking to you. These men should be shot. yes I mean that.

i would tell her that she should leave that guy the soonest time while its still not too late for her to move on and start a life anew (a new life without that stubborn guy). i worry that she might get killed as this guy has tendencies of hurting her physically. she deserves someone better, someone who respects her and love her wholeheartedly.i believe that guy doesn't really love your friend. i dont think so that she can't live without him.she can. she just have to have the initiative to make her self busy and forget about that guy. she should work to earn a living. someday she'll come to realize he's not worth all the love and sacrifice she's given him. i know because i've been there. my first boyfriend was like that.we fought over merely little and end up to be physically hurting each other. its enough to give an abusive guy a chance- two to three times is more than enough. if he still doesn't--- drop him like a hot potato! there's a beautiful world out here waiting for you--- get out from that dark space you're in. there are a lot of nice things in store for us to see and enjoy... to Rozie's friend--- girl, wake up!!! enjoy life...i was able to move out from that same situation that you're in, there's no reason you can't do that...

I would make her realise that such a guy is not even deserve her friendship and a serious relationship is too far to think abt and help her to develop her self esteem and make her realise that a relationship needs passion and love to work it.I don't really understand why girls are tolerating such nonsense from men and then saying men can do anything to women becoz they are men. If she don't understand your suggestions and advices leave her alone. Let herself learn from her life.

With the life you said she left she if full of shame and hate. this guy is the only home that has kept her from what she fears. As much as you want to help only she can help herself. But once you have seen and done what she has experienced there is little left of who you want to be. She will defend this guy until he, I hate to say it, but ends her. All you can do is be there. But if it starts to make you less of who you are you will have to take yourself out of her life. But as long as you have hope that she will wake up and see she is much more than she thinks she is, then I would stink in there and be there. But realize all you say is going to make her feel attacked. If you choose to be the support for her all you can do is listen, and pray one day that she will realize there is more out there then what she thinks she deserves. I am expereincing this same situation with my friend, but it has been years and it has torn a hole in my heart. I had to let my friend live the way they wanted to but I could no longer watch the hurt and pain. So I no longer talk or see my friend. Was causing alot of stress, and depression in my relationship. All you can do is what you think is right. Sorry for the novel. This is dear to my heart.

if this were my best friend,i would let her know that he doesn't bother about you but i care for you.I would assured help.Try to bring her out of this thought.you must give her mental support which she needs a lot.