Agree or disagree

I hope your fiance is well aware that using any kind of physical force to punish a child (especially a belt) is considered child abuse. If your fiance insists on using a belt as a disciplinary tool, you better hope your child never tells anyone otherwise Child Protective Services will be at your door ready to take away your kids. If you want your children to listen, try using language they will understand..discipline with love, not abuse.

Perhaps by explaining the law to him? It is illegal to hit or belt your kid, as easy as that. The children can be taken out of the house for it and the parents can end up in prison, all it takes for suspicion to arise is a doctors visit which finds bruises on weird places or school teachers during gym class and such. In my opinion there's only one place where the ones who belt their kids belong and that's prison, not in a family home. If I were you I'd also definitely try to talk this ludicrous behavior out of his mind before it gets him, you and the kids into any trouble.

Spanking a child with a belt is not at all bad as some thought, but IMHO, it should your last recourse and when you do spank them you have to explain things to the kids why and what is the reason for doing that. I have been spank in my childhood days but before that there is always a lecture. Maybe you can tell your hubby that before doing that he must explain things first to the kids.

Thats so foolish of him it can also lead to a reverse actoin da child may hate him to any limit spank him whn he goes of beyond his limits orelse a buldges eye will do.... Ask him what leasure he gets in spankin if yes Advice him to spank himself and not da poor child.. Thats da worst thing a parent can do...

THATS RIGHT TELL HIM ITS WRONG TO EVER TAKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR HAND AND HIT A CHILD WITH IT! I dont even spank my 4 yr old daughter because i dont think thats an affective way to teach a child morals and values. If she does something wrong I get down to her height, look into her eyes and let her know what she was doing was wrong...kids respond better when you really sit them down and explain what they did was wrong. Spanking them with your hand or a belt (even worse) doesnt teach them anything in my opinion.

I'm not in a relationship right now and neither do I have a child to attend to. However, I believe that the kind of discipline we would want to impose on them depends on the cultural values we have, the gravity of the act and the appropriateness of a punishment. Maybe you can start the conversation with him with an assurance that you don't mean to question his authority, values or judgment. Perhaps, you could then ask him how much he loves your daughters. Then, try to inquire what he sees of them in the future. Now, maybe, you could open up the topic of disciplining your kids. You may try to begin by asking why he prefers to use belt and not sticks or spanks in making them know they're wrong. However, during this part, please avoid using some 'unpleasant ' terms like punishment, brutality, abuse, etc. etc.

I think the belt is a bit too much. I dont know how you will make him see reason without getting into an arguement about it. I agree to a smack on the bottom and nowhere else. Like you said, you dont want them to fear you, but you want respect and them to listen. If the smacking dosnt work , maybe try taking something off them that they love for a while until they behave enough to earn it back. I really dont know, sorry, but I wish you luck.

It may be possible to frighten a child so that you do not see him doing what you do not want him to do. But that is not the end. If the child stopped doing some wrong because of fear, he may do it when he gets over this fear. This may happen at a later stage. It really does not help because the child was not convinced of the act as "wrong". If the idea is to persuade the child to realise that he is doing something wrong, he must be convinced. This can not be done by force or by frightening him. You have to do amicably. We tend to use belt and often the immediate response assures us that it is working. But the truth is most likely to be far from it. Rearing a chils is a difficult task and one is required to have lot of patience in the process. Trying to correct a child lovingly and amicably may seem difficult and a slow process but once it is achieved, it would be a solid achievement and the child would not reverse it at a later stage. So, have lot of patience in dealing with a child. Who said bringing up children is easy?

Laws are very strict about this now a days, although I think it is a little out of hand. I will tell you a funny story about our son when he was younger . his dad told him as a punishment he had to go to his room and stay there for the night. A little while later he came out and ASK if he could just have a lickin instead, well we knew what was hurting him more and said no. But can you imagine that, a child would rather have a spanking then go to his room. He is 20 years old now and we still laugh at this story with him. I would never use a belt on a child but a pat on the bum to me still is not abuse in my mind.

The next time your fiance does not do something you want him to do, or he argues with you go and get the belt and hit him with it. If it is good enough for the children then it is good enough for him as well.

Maybe you could try to ask him to find other ways to discipline the children.As i know that i got afraid of my dad too i've seen that no hitting can be a better way.Just make sure you make eye contact with them and they will listen better. If he still wants to spank them i think he shouldn't use objects but just use his own bare hands,that's not frightening for the children.A friend of mine learned me that people who starts to hit children don't have any control of them.You cna also confront him with the fact that they will be afraid of him if he continues doing this. Maybe this is of help.

Maybe when he was a kid using a belt was not against the law. I don't know what country you are in but it is against the law in many countries to spank a child - particularly with a belt. He can be arrested and jailed for child abuse and in my opinion he should be. A swift slap on the butt should be sufficient and that could be followed by a time out - say five minutes standing in a corner with their face to the wall. If he insits on using the belt he is on the road to these kids hating him for what he did to them when they grow up. I would suggest you print out all the replies to this and make him read them.

i don't disagree... to spank a child any where else.. cause ..doing that is really a mean thing.. you do love your child's do you.. add me as your friend..

sorry i don't believe in spanking a child. it probably would have an effect on his/her childhood life or he/she might rebel more if you decide to use spanking as an act of discipline. just because your fiance got spank when he was little, doesn't mean that he has to follow that tradition :P ..there are many more ways to teach and discipline kids, try to avoid spanking, aight? :)

He sounds like a monster and should be locked up. And what kind of mother are you that you would allow someone to do this to your children?? Frankly you're no better than he is for allowing that to happen. The pair of you are disgraceful.

Just tell him he is wrong and could get into alot of trouble doing that. Its against the law. And as far as learning anything from it you learn that is painful. Pain doesnt teach a child at all. Spanking once in awhile on the butt is okay but dont get carried away.

I would never! and I mean never use a belt- Nor would I let anyone touch my daughter with a belt- I'd be careful of this- I would consider this child abuse- you have to be careful even spaking your child with your hand anymore- I think it is wrong of your fiance- please talk with him and let him know that he cannot do this- Are they his kids also? I think a smack on the hindend once in a while if it is really needed is ok- I think I might have smacked my daughters fanny 2 or 3 times ever and she is 10- Kids should not be afraid of their parents. But they should respect them- There are other ways to earn this respect.

when i was a child, im not just spanked by my mother whenever i am due for dicipline. as i grow up, i tried to ask my mother if she really loves me. she answered me she does that is why she spanks me. I NEVER DID THAT TO MY CHILDEN. how can you say you loves your children when your hurting them? your fiance is establishing FEAR of children to him than RESPECT. i believe, lesser will be the tendency of children to commit mistakes if they respects their parents.

I always thought that touching a child's hinder was illegal.

I believe that spanking a child to make then listen and behave isn't a good method. The best method is that taught him to behave and respect his parents.