Phases of love in a relationship--anyone else think that love ebbs and flows?
By vokey9472
@vokey9472 (1486)
United States
May 12, 2007 4:57pm CST
Ok, I have been thinking about this a lot. I think that love ebbs and flows in every relationship. I believe that two can be in love with each other for a lifetime, but that the intensity of that love ebbs and flows. Sometimes one partner loves more than the other and vice versa. Sometimes you are passionately in love with your partner and they may not be in love with you at that time. But at the same time, you may not be in love with your partner when they are deeply in love with you. There are times when one or both people want out of the relationship but you get through those times because there is a deep and abiding love that forms the foundation of your relationship. I think that you and your partner must truly love each other in order to be in love with each other. What are your thoughts on this? I would really like to know how other people view love and relationships.
2 people like this
5 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
12 May 07
I believe that love has it's ups and downs. It does have an ebb and flow. I sometimes feel this overwhelming love for my husband when I look at him at that moment and a day later, I don't feel anything but comfort that he is there. Nothing passionate as the day before, but just comfort and security. So, yeah, I think that it happens that way as you stated. I know my husband feels the same way. Sometimes he looks at me and I can just feel the electricity between us and sometimes he just looks at me indifferently. So, it is true, we don't always feel the same passion or uplifted feelings, but love is always there whether it is a high or low.
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
12 May 07
Exactly. You need that real love as the foundation of your relationship to keep the relationship alive when the passion is a little on the low side. I sometimes look at my husband and the electricity is all consuming and other times I look at him and I just want him to cut the yard. Thankfully, he is my best friend and so on those days when I just want him to do yard work, I still love him completely. :)
@stormygrl (761)
• United States
13 May 07
Wow you've put this down very well and it is certainly true.More or less you get through the ups and downs of your relationship if what you truly feel is real love. Sometimes though your stuck together for different reasons so whether thats real or not.
@sunslinger (474)
• Singapore
13 May 07
Definitely. I learned in Sociology class that every relationship is constantly changing and this applies to all types of human relationships. So even between the best of friends, the dynamics will change, what more between lovers? That's why you always need to work it. It's never easy.
@munhozmib (3836)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
13 May 07
Well, if you don't love your partner, you'll have problems. How can you look at her eyes and say: "I love you" knowing that it is a lie? It gets worst if you love someone else!
Now, what about if she doesn't loves you? Then you'll have to notice that you are already in the relationship. Somehow, the person likes you, at least a bit. Just give her a good reason to love you! Conquer her heart and be happy!
Those are my thoughs about this.
