It is so hard to NOT do things!

Glad to meet you, too. But wish we didn't have the pain in common. I'll bet there are much nicer things we have in common! Will get to know you better in time. Let's keep pacing . . .

Yeah. When it all hurts, it's hard to think that there really is a life beyond the cycles of pain-not pain, pain-not pain. It just seems to overwhelm and overtake everything else. But, there is a big, big world out there, and life goes on, even with fibromyalgia.

I've just kind of realized, through a VERY SEVERE pain episode in my entire body, that it doesn't seem to make any difference whether I pace or not, I keep getting these off and on. Sometimes it has left me with wondering WHERE did I go wrong? I've had episodes when I did nothing, when I did a lot, and everywhere in between, over the course of more than 20 years. According to my chiropractor and the X-rays he has taken of my spine (which I got a chance to look at), I appear to have pinched nerves in my entire spine, all the way from the most top vertebrae to the most bottom one. My former rehab counselor (I just asked him today to discontinue working with me as a client) just told me yesterday that, basically, if I had paced myself better I would not have this pain I am in now, and that fibromyalgia basically has to do with pacing oneself. He told me this while I was in extreme pain. Basically, in so many words, he blamed me for my excruciating pain episode. He also kept asking me for a schedule of my typical day, which I completely made up because of his continually requesting one. When I told him there IS NO typical day for me, that fell on deaf ears. (There is no "typical" day for me, when it all completely revolves around my pinched nerves and all of the many symptoms, such as right now I am battling sharp pain, numbness, and tingling in my left leg yet again, that wants to turn into another bout of sciatica and meralgia parasthetica!) Of course, when he saw my completely fabricated-on-the-spot schedule, nothing at all like my reality, I figured out, then, that there would be no way to win for losing, and that no matter what I put or didn't put down, he'd find something seriously wrong with it. I actually broke down in tears during the meeting after he said that I should go out and socialize no matter how much pain I am in, without talking about my life or my pain and problems, and that would help to fix my supposed problem with pacing myself. Every single time I have done that, it has failed miserably. And, I find it impossible for me, when I feel like I am on fire, to go without complaining about the flames. I tried to tell him all that, but again that fell on deaf ears. Although the medical doctors have diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, I very seriously doubt whether I really have that at all, given the chiropractic X-rays and what I have read about fibro. I think that the doctors probably diagnosed me with it because they didn't know what else to call it. I have fluctuating vision, speech, and hearing problems, and have had many bouts of lower back pain, sciatica, and meralgia parasthetica, through my many years of battling this disorder. I have also had severe migraines, some of them causing me to suddenly collapse and vomit repeatedly, and bouts of of severe vertigo. I doubt if fibromyalgia causes all that. I am very glad that I ditched that rehab counselor. He's really good at some other disabilities, mainly hearing problems, but he really sux at this one, BIG TIME, although hearing problems appears to be part of what I have. Back to icing my upper and lower back at the same time, after eating something first. I wish, at least for me anyway, that the answer were really as simple as pacing. But, it doesn't seem to be the case, come to find out, at all. Thanks for best response.

I know. Thanks. It would be easier if I were someplace besides home where all the tasks waiting for me to do them wouldn't be seen! :-)

I do take a sleep medication and once I get to sleep at night I sleep through the night. If I get up at some point to go to the bathroom I have no trouble getting back to sleep. I do not wake up feeling groggy but I wish I could keep sleeping. This morning I had to get up because we had to go to my mother's for lunch. Then I sat down on the couch to watch Survivor so I could really focus on the show and I was dozing off for the first hour. I kept shaking myself awake. LOL!

I always wonder whether the fatigue and pain create the sleeplessness or if the sleeplessness creates the pain and fatigue! Some cycle, huh? I'm using a sleep prescription to get eight hours sleep and usually don't allow myself to sleep during the day, except when the fatigue is really bad and the only relief from the pain comes from sleep. I don't need the meds when the pain and fatigue are more controlled, but I need to get rest and can't afford to go without sleep when I'm this fatigued. You might want to consider one of the new sleep medications that are supposed to be non-habit-forming and don't leave you groggy the next day. I really didn't want to add another medication, but I have learned how important sleep is to my health management and take it when I need it.

Even watching t.v. can mean pushing yourself when you have this stuff. I used to fall asleep in front of the t.v. every evening before I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and started using a CPAP. I'd come home from work exhausted, sit down, go to sleep, wake up for supper, sit down and go to sleep again. Then I'd get up and go to bed, sleep, get up, go to work and start all over again. What a life THAT was.

Sounds like you definitely had an "empathy building experience"! LOL My grandmother always said that you could find something positive about anything if you tried hard enough. So empathy development was a positive you won't need to do again! :-) I overdid it yesterday, so I'm really dragging today. I do have one two hour commitment this afternoon and that is ALL I'm going to do today. One good thing about my relapse is that it gives me more time on myLot! See, my grandmother taught me well.

It is especially hard to stop doing something we enjoy. It is a real bummer that even the fun things are exhausting. Thanks for responding. Hope your are taking better care of yourself today. :-)

Fibromyalgia, or any pain for that matter, can really disturb your sleep pattern.I use 50 mg. amytriptoline [prescription med] at bedtime to help control the pain and improve my sleep. The loss of sleep makes everything worse. Hope you have sweet dreams soon!

That's a really good idea. Thanks! I've been doing it backwards, setting the timer for the rests. Duh. I don't need to limit my rests, I need to limit my activity. Thanks again.

By the way, I love your wolf picture.

You can't do without paying later. That is the core of the disorder. And you certainly have your hands full. I don't know how you do it. I'd suggest you spend some time evaluating what really has to be done and what can just go undone. Because you will only get worse if you try to keep up with people who don't have the fatigue to deal with on an on-going basis. Even young children can help around the house. You will do them a favor if you teach them early to share the responsibility for making the family unit work for everyone. Sounds like you have a supportive spouse. That is SO important. Even when they understand our illness they are going to go through periods of frustration and resentment just like we do. But don't try to do things just to please someone else, even you spouse. Because you need to budget your energy to the areas you have decided are critical. It is important to prioritize with your spouse so you are working as a team. Learn shortcuts and work smarter, not harder. I find that using emotional energy will flatten me as fast as physical energy. So don't sweat the small stuff. We can't afford to use our energy on things that really aren't that important. Being present physically and emotionally for your family is far more important than having a spotless house. It is a really challenging disorder. One thing that really frustrates me is that I can feel really bad, barely move from seat to seat, and still I look as healthy as anyone. People just don't understand why I don't do more. I don't look sick.

Can't imagine horseback riding with fibromyalgia! You must be one tough cowgirl! Welcome aboard.