Have you ever lived alone and do you ever think about growing old alone?
By Serina
@Serina (70)
United States
May 13, 2007 9:30am CST
I am forty years old. I have a son, 20, and a daughter 19. They both are now in college and have moved away to seperate campuses. I am in the severe throws of empty nest syndrome to say the least. Also I have been married and divorced twice with the last divorce occuring nine years ago. In the last nine years I have had one date and no relationships. Now that my children are gone and having no significant other in my life my mind often wonders if I am going to grow old alone. The future is looking like that might be the case. In the past I used to think I would have no problem with it but that was still when I had a bitter aftertaste left in my mouth from my last divorce.
While living alone can have its perks like walking through the house naked when you cannot make up your mind what to wear it is becoming very lonesome in my humble abode now. Have you ever lived alone? How did you like it?
There is no doubt about it. The older you become the more swiftly your life passes. The more I remain alone the more I fear if "The Mr. Right" were to come along I may be to set in my ways to learn to adjust to another person living with me. However, I have finally come to the conculsion that growing old alone is not the way it was meant to be. I believe we are suppose to have someone to help us up when our backs give out and help us find our false teeth when we misplace them. So, have you ever thought about growing old alone? Do you know someone that is "old" and alone? How do you think you will deal with being old and alone if and when the time comes, as it probably will for most of us at one point anyway?
4 people like this
11 responses
@stormygrl (761)
• United States
13 May 07
I've never haved lived alone,YET but once the last two are grown I may give it a try ,minus the hubby. It's something I look forward to (be careful what you wish for) I guess but down the road I don't want to end up alone but I do want to be with someone I enjoy being with and am compatable to.So I would like to try alone but not stay alone but worry how hard it would be to find someone else if there is anyone else.
2 people like this
@Serina (70)
• United States
13 May 07
stormygrl,
I remember feeling the same as yourself. Living alone was once something I looked forward to and at first I enjoyed it. But it has since grown tiring very quickly. I do not wish to be alone in my aging years and hopefully will run across Mr. Right. However, that is seeming to be more difficult than I originally anticipated. Haha.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
13 May 07
Most of the time I live alone. I work far away from my family and won't be able to go home until winter and summer holidays come because of my job,but I chat with my wife every day on chatting software or by sending her emails.
I have never thought of growing old alone. I won't allow this happen. I wish you to have someone as your partner.
You know, we need someone to chat with, to accompany, to help and to share our happiness and sorrows. When we are ill, we need someone to take good care of us.
Besides, your kids are now at college and it will be better for you to have a partner.
Forget about the shadow of divorce that has left you. Just cheer up. There is sure to be some Mr Right there for you to be your partner.
Why not get out and stay with your friends. They are sure to offer you a lot of help to find a Mr. Right. You are still young at forty.
Happiness is waiting for you there so long as you get out without locking yourself at an empty house.
Good luck
1 person likes this
@Serina (70)
• United States
13 May 07
williamjisir,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I believe too that at forty I am young. That is what I keep telling myself anyway. LOL. And I do want someone who will this time mean "in sickness and in health". I was still young when I married the first two times and those vows did not carry much wait with my husbands then. But I hope there is a Mr. Right still out there for me somewhere.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
14 May 07
Thanks for your response and I am looking forward to hearing good news from you. Good luck.
@Lauraleigh99 (4718)
• United States
13 May 07
Looking at your picture I don't think you will alone forever. You are a very good looking gal. Get out and meet people. Go different places with your friends and see what you can find. I am sure that it won't take you long to find some dates.
@Lauraleigh99 (4718)
• United States
13 May 07
Life's too short to be a hermit! Get out and party hard and meet some sexy men LOL
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
13 May 07
I have lived alone numerous times after moving out of my parents house back in 1998. For the first four years in my townhouse, I had lived alone. Of course, i do think that I could end up getting old alone and not having a special someone to be with and get old with. The last few years I have rented out my other bedroom in my townhouse so it has not been lonely though I do not have a significant other. Hopefully I will meet that special someone and not grow old alone.
1 person likes this
@Serina (70)
• United States
13 May 07
kgwat,
When I imagine my future I see myself alone, though now that is not the way I wish it to be. I have thought of renting out the extra bedroom to have another companion around but am still a bit indecisive about that. I too hope you meet that special someone to grow old with.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
13 May 07
Dear Serina.... I am 73 and have never lived alone. I've been married more than 50 yrs. and I've come to know that Life is exactly what you make it. Yes, if you believe you will always be alone, then you Will Be.
A favourite belief!...."WE are All One!" And so we are!
But we must work together at it. Go out, work, play, and make friends. Love life, and Life will lOVE YOU BACK.
Stay Positive, and Know that you will never be alone or lonesome! Every person that I Know who is old and alone, is that way because they choose to be!
Its never too late to choose happiness, and may the rest of your life be Joy filled!
@Serina (70)
• United States
13 May 07
MH4444,
It can be fun to live alone. You do not have to pick up after anyone or live up to anyone else's standards. Heck, I am a slob at heart. I cannot believe I just told that. LOL. I too did enjoy the benefits that came along with it at first. However, it did not take long before I found myself talking outloud to no one. I did not take this to be a good sign. LOL.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 May 07
I have never truly been alone in my life. My kids were there when I left their father and eventually divorced him. But, it took me 15 years to feel good enough about myself to start thinking about being with another man. I knew that I wanted to have that a relationship other than what my family could give me. Being independant for so many years also gave me an edge. I can stick up for myself and refuse to let another rule my life. But, I also learned to share, to make compromises, and to bite my tongue sometimes.
Having worked in the healthcare system for many years, I have known people who do in fact live alone. Their families seem to have their priorities mixed up. They forget about the ones that sit alone for hours, days, months and unfortunately years. We need to get our priorities straight and remember those that loved us so much and still do.
1 person likes this
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
14 May 07
I have never lived alone. I move right from my parents house to my first apartment with my husband. Sometimes when things get rough in my marriage I wonder if I would be better of alone somewhere. I really dont know. It seems great to have no one to clean after and cook for, or the other random things that consume my day. I think the grass always looks greener on the other side and we all need to look for what is great about the situation we are currently in.
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
13 May 07
I know the feeling Serina. After a good 13 years I lost the love of my life, who is now in heaven and I have been alone for a very long time. I met a friend who's fiance past away and he moved in and we are kind of supporting each other. It's been years since I've had a roommate/housemate but we get along really good. He is good company and helps with the healing since we both share a similiar pain but hopefully he will eventually meet another woman and get married and I will be living alone again. So I often get the same feelings and thoughts as you do. I will be 50 on my next birthday and I think I will remain by myself, I am too afraid to open my heart again.
1 person likes this
@Serina (70)
• United States
13 May 07
howard,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is good to hear you have a companion who knows what you are going through, that can support you, and that you can help in return. I cannot imagine losing someone the way you have and I hope for you that time will heal your wounds.
1 person likes this
@sojournseeker (1244)
• United States
14 May 07
Hey looking at another great 40-ier what are you worried about? Men aren't all that anyway LOL !!! no offense guys but we are whole without ya ya know ! BUT yes being alone is a bit anxiety-driving. The right man or the right combination of activities, good thoughts and freedom can be the perfect growing-old with someone scenario we want to capture but when we are faced with 'empty-nest' I suppose it can hit hard. Divorce unseen, house empty slaps you in the face.
I am in a relationship, rocky as the beginnings of some are and if you are three years and three days apart, same zodiac sign and much similar characteristics, you still crave your own time and I do--I still want & desire time alone so that Erica can be all she can without the 'couple syndrome requirements' spelled out in some relationships. At 40, I have grown into entitlement in being choosy of how I spend my time and with whom. I encourage you to live as Serina wants to for awhile, revel in the empty-house happy -home syndrome cause once its shared with another, certain qualities of your time with the universe may have to get compromised and who wants that !
gentle hugs and words of encouragement from one classy 40 y/o lady to another !
sharing the light,
erica
@gaby_girl (157)
• Canada
13 May 07
When I first moved out of my dad's house a year ago, I was living on my own. It was that bad because my boyfriend came over regularily, but on the days that I was alone I hated it. It was soo lonely for me and a little scary at night. I thinkg that it would be horrible to grow old alone without anyone with you. I actually have a fear of that happening. Its not a pretty thought.
