What would you do if......

Oh you poor thing.. No I would NOT have reacted the way your Mother did and I doubt that I would even ask for the money back either especially knowing that its for my Moko's (GrandChildren) Tell your Mother to get a grip there are worse things in life than worrying about a meazley $20.. sorry to say but it sounds to me like theres nothing more important that freaking money to your Mum. That SUCKS! I have 4 Children and I would NEVER tell them to pay my money back. Ever..

You said she said she needed it back, Did you tell her you would pay her back on that day, or as soon as you could? I realize you plan to pay her back, but if you gave her a day you could pay it back and could not do so on that day, You should at least let her know. That part is a little unclear... Did you call her on pay day and tell her about the car? or did you tell her about it when you borrowed it? I have loaned my son money and had to wait an extra week for it and I did not get mad. He doesn't even have kids, but needed it for important things. If I REALLY needed it back on a specific day, I tell him when he borrowed it, so he knows that I need it then. I thing a lot of this is a miss understanding maybe. And in a year it will be forgotten, so there is no need in her getting nasty about it, but a loan should be paid back when you say it will be paid back.

Well I know or I think I know how you feel about that,Jamiel because I have three children of my own. I loan money to them also and if they can not pay me back I do not call them out and ball them out.

As far as I am concern and I believe I really am, I would not act like the way your mother did to you. Considering that $20 bucks, that isn't a big money at all. I will just wait for my daughter to pay me if she has enough money though she had promised a date to pay me. It will be ok if she'll pay but if not heck is not a big deal, after all I am her mom and she's my daughter. My grandchildren are precious and so if they need that little help from grandma why should I deprive it?

I can't believe your mother acted like that over $20.00. I have already given my kids way more money than that, and never asked or expected it back. I'm their mom, if they can't ask me for help when they need it, then I wouldn't be a very good mom. Sometimes things happen, and I have been in the position where I had to ask for help too from time to time. I wouldn't want my grandchildren or even my children to go without if I have it to give it.

Absolutely NOT! Your Mom sound like my Mom. I am currently am unemployeed a single Mom of two no income no child support since January. No money since income tax (January). I asked my Mom if I could borrow $10 to pick up a few items from the store. She said no because she had to get her nails done. My Grandman had a stroke I went to the hospital to see her and took my children and my Mom was there also she complained about my daugthers shoes being scuffed and my baby not wearing any shoes. I had asked for money weeks ago to buy my children some more shoes. My reponse to her that takes money she started screaming at me I dont know what the He!! you do with money. I have been off work since January have not received any child support since January, no one helps me. She started comparing me to herself when I was a kid. My Grandma always helped my Mom without any problem or questions.I practically lived with my grandma.I cant even get my Mom to watch my kids while I go to work or look for work. She is the reason why I dont have a job she got me fired I was on probation at a job that does not like to hire single Moms. My kids daycare was closed for Martin Luther King holiday my Mom agreed to watch both of my kids she took my 5 yr old to church with her she was supppose to come back that night and pick up my baby but she did not. Not only did she not come to pick my baby up she called my job that she knew I was not at requesting to talk to me. so I was let go. Sorry for the long response but I can relate I have an unreasonable Mom also.

I am a mother myself. If my son called to borrow money..his father and I would be only to happy to lend him the money...especially if it was for his kids. I don't know why your mother acted like that? Have you borrowed from her before? Have you always paid her back? I can't say...because I don't know the details...but perhaps you should find someone else to borrow from....in the future.

There's probably more to it on her part but I wouldn't act like that in fact I probably would have gone to the shop and brought her what she needed and more..... I often ask my mum for help and she does if she can she struggles too, but she would always help her children first and I would do the same....

You should have paid your mother back before you bought groceries or paid the full amount on the insurance. How can you run out of money and diapers when you know how much thepay is going to be and how many diapers you use? Sounds to me like you need to learn how to budget. By the way, if your kid is in pullups, toilet train them or put them back in diapers which are cheaper.

I think that is really sad, you weren't using the money for crap it was things that had to be paid for or your situation could get worse. I can't imagine how hard it would be if your hubby got thrown in jail and the car impounded =( That would be terrible and you would really need money then. I can't believe she would throw a fit over $20 for her grandkids, I think that is sad. I know it is hard asking for help when you need things like that. Did she not understand about the insurabce and everything?? I would just say sorry but the money ran out and you will have to pay her with the next check. I hope she wouldn't get so mad at you, it is hard these days with kids and cars and all, it is really overwhelming. I always think if I am willing to lend someone any amount of money I might not ever get it back, no matter who it is so if I lend someone money I don't really expect it back so I wouldn't get upset over it. Try not to get upset over it I totally think your mom should have been more understanding!!

Ok, I go through this with my mom sometimes. We get near the end of the month and run out of something or other and my mom will help us out. I ALWAYS make sure rent, electric and phone/internet are paid first thing so if she has to help us with anything it is usually little things. I generally keep track of what I owe her and on payday I catch up as much as I can without cutting us short again. Its not ideal and I hate to have her help us at all but sometimes things happen and you just have to do the best you can. And no I wouldn't have flipped out... LIVE IN PEACE

It depends on the lender's circumstances. I have a few friends that I would give the shirt off my back, food off my plate, etc. If they need, I will try to help, but I will also be clear with them. If I need the $20 back in order to make it to my next payday, I tell them up front: you must give this back to me as promised. This is my lunch money. If they don't, they get a rasher of stuff from me. Now, if it were grandchildren, I think that's a different thing. We have a 26 year old friend who is as close to a daughter as we'll ever come. We "loaned" her some money to buy her 5 year old girl Christmas presents. Income tax time was the payback date, but then her car broke down and her hours got cut and cash was very short. We didn't ask her for the money and don't intend to. It's not going to hurt our retirement or anything, and we value this relationship too much to strain it over some cash. Besides, she's going to school to be an RN, so I imagine there'll be some moment in the future when that bit of bread cast on the water will roll right back to our shore! =o) =o) =o) As far as buying things for the kids basic needs, I don't understand why there is even a question of payback. These are her grandchildren, and they need this. Should they do without? I'd make a good bet that, when she was a young mother, she got a bit of help from the old folks, in some fashion. Pay her back ASAP, even if that means transferring the debt to someone else. Next time you need something, instead of asking to borrow, tell her, your grandkids need this, can you help us, period. Adding a penny ante debt to your already heavy load is just wrong. My mom worked as a waitress until she was 68 years old, and she never begrudged my sister some help buying stuff for her babies. Shame on Grandma! Some years ago, I had to make the adjustment from earning a decent living to getting by on a disability check. I was clueless! My local Community Center had a lot of free resources, including free financial literacy classes, that really saved me. If you can find the time, check out your local Center and see if they have this. The first one I took was "Saving on a Shoestring Budget", and it opened my eyes to so many ways I could help myself out, it was totally worth the time. The feeling I got when I was able to follow the steps and put together my first budget, and then follow it, was amazing! I slipped up a lot, but I kept trying, and now it's pretty much second nature. I don't live check to check anymore. It took quite a few years, but if I can do it, anyone can! Good luck!

Hello jamie11982 My mom never do that to me thank God for that, and i would not do that to my child. Still my responsibility to take care of them and support their living. I can't see my family suffering because of they don't have money. But i want to make sure that they will work to get more money. God bless you http://money-athome.blogspot.com http://beautycosmetictips.blogspot.com

Your mother was being unreasonable. Im sure being short of 20 bucks for a week or two wont kill her. Shes your mother for godsakes. I could understand if you owed her alot of money that she needed back, but car insurance and groceries and diapers are much more important and if she would think rationally shed understand. Sorry dear!! You dont deserve that.

My mom would never have done this if I asked her for money. She really should understand what situation you are in and try to help you instead of making you more stressed about the whole situation. I am not saying that u shouldnt pay her back, but i am saying that she should see it for what it is and be patient.

This sounds pretty harsh to me, I am assuming that $20 to your Mom is not as large an amount as $20 is to you. It is unfortunate that Mom did that to you and your children. As to what you can to help avoid this situation I am not sure, I guess clipping coupons can help a bit, but not much, I remember diapers being very expensive even when my son was little. I guess you have to look how you can cut corners so that you don't have to borrow from your Mom again.

I understand how you feel. My son is 16 months old some weeks he uses only a small amount of nappies other weeks he used heaps. So it is hard to judge how many you need. And as for the borrowing money, you should ask if you need help that is what parents are for. I feel that if you could of paid her you would have. Your mother should understand your situation. My partner and i are only living on one income i get a little from centrelink and that just covers it with food and bills. Except when you have 2 weddings in one month then we strugle a bit. But its all a learning experiance. So i think when you can give her $10 to say thankyou and that should make her happy. Good luck with everything.

My mother has lent me thousands of dollars. She NEVER asks for it. In fact she gets mad when I try paying her back. Over the past few years we have gotten to the point that if we need a loan it is only a bridge loan. She actually cashes a check for me. Waits till the day I tell her the money will be there and deposits it. Then she gets it right away. We have also gotten to the point where we don't need her help and now she gets annoyed if I spend money on her. She actually scolded me for not letting her buy the ingredients to the dinner we made her! As far as what I would do ... well my 16 year old daughter owes me a couple of hundred dollars. I only bust her chops about it when she is getting a bit to greedy. It reins her in. I am in no rush to be paid back and if she never does - oh well. She is my child no matter how old she gets.

There's two sides to every story, and since we are only hearing one side, I am going to assume that this is not the first time you've borrowed money from your mom, otherwise why would she be so adament about getting it back? Maybe she feels that by past experience with either you or other people, she has not ever had her money returned to her. Try to see things from her perspective and do your utmost to pay her back so you can put closure on this and hopefully if the need should arise again, she will not hesitate to lend you money should you need it.

I think anybody will be expecting from someone if promised. But personally I have the word of honor, I do what I say provided all is well. That's the reason your mom is demanding, she's expecting something from you. Another thing, when I lend money, most of the time I don't listen to when this people promise to pay me specially those who often don't pay back so I won't get upset when tehy can't keep their promise. I guess if I was the one who can't repay the money in time, I would have asked the person before the due time and explain not wait for the person to remind me. Good communication often solves the problem specially money matter.