Is it rude?
By deedles88
@deedles88 (297)
Australia
May 13, 2007 10:57pm CST
I started a topic about weddings, and I have another question!
A friend of ours (My fiance and I) is getting married. Him and his fiance have been together for over 2 years, and have a son. They have over $150 000 a year, combined (Thats Australia $$$) and when they invited us to their engagement party on the bottom of the invitation was "We have everything we need for a home together, so please dont give us pressies. But, we need a new fridge so instead put money in for that"
I read it and nearly dropped dead. I thought that was the most rudest thing I have ever heard. They have been living together for a long time, make alot of money so why should we buy them a new fridge? And its only an engagement party!
The same goes for weddings, my brother in law is getting married (they have been engaged 5 yrs) and they have lived together for most of it. So they just want money instead of presants. I think its rude to ask for money!
For my wedding, I dont want presants or money. My partner and I have been living together for 2 years and we have everything we possibly want or need. I dont expect people to give me a presant, just because we are engaged, then give me one just because we're married.
Do you agree? Do you think we should give people presants just because they are engaged and/or married??
1 person likes this
4 responses
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
26 Jun 07
Wow... that's quite the breach of etiquette. Invitations are for a person's presence at an event and that's it.
Gifts are not supposed to be presumed -- if someone gives a gift, which of course we all do, it should be appreciated but not expected. It's considered really poor manners to print anything to do with presents, money, etc., on an invitation. Generally, it's up to the families of the bride and groom to answer questions about what they like, want or need, whether or not they are registered, etc.
However, there's a new-ish trend, too, about having a website for a wedding. Apparently, according to what I've read, it's acceptable to put information on the website about a registry... but still not OK to print anything on the invitations.
Do you ever wonder how many of the folks who are asking for things upfront take the time to acknowledge the gifts and send thank you cards? I know one couple that ordered the matching thank you notes with their invitation package and they never sent a single one. The bride kept saying she'd 'get around to it' and, after the thank you notes sat on her shelf for three years, she finally just threw them out. She and her husband still laugh about it to this day... and I find that in really poor taste. :(
@hotbiatch (276)
• Philippines
31 May 07
I have been bothered by almost the same prerogative but if you come to think of it, it may be more practical for the couple especially now that economy is bad and inflation is high
@zacsmum (72)
• Australia
14 May 07
I have heard of this before and it's a very common thing now to request money gifts instead of presents. Usually the money goes towards paying for the honeymoon or a house deposit. I think it's a good idea but the wording on the invitation has to be right.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
14 May 07
I think both situations you mentioned are kinda rude. If they're making $150k a year then they can buy their own fridge!
As for the other one, well, that's a little different - take the Greek weddings when the bride has money attached to her dress (the current Nurofen advert) - it means that you cant end up with unwanted gifts that you have to get rid of, take back or push to the back of your cupboard!
I don't believe there's a need to have an engagement party, especially a little while later you have a wedding & people are expected to give gifts for both - i'd rather buy a little something or give cash at the wedding but do nothing for the engagement!
It's the same as Baby Showers - i know they're more of an American thing but my cousin is having one - that way they'll get gifts at the baby shower & then more once the baby is born, why have a baby shower if it's not the Aussie thing to do especially if all you want is double the gifts - buy your own baby items - you cant expect other people to buy all the things you need!
