Can you forgive someone who took advantage of your feelings and cheated you?
By subha12
@subha12 (18441)
India
May 14, 2007 1:24am CST
Can you really forgive someone who took the advantage of your feelings? I have seen this with one of my good friends. The guy was very clever it seems. He knew that the girl really cares for him. After realising it he proproposed to this girl. It seems they were very happy together. But after some time the girl realised taht it is not thje true feeling for the boy. He was dating someone else simultaneously and took advantage of my friend as his real Gf was in different city.He used to forcebly has physical relationship with my friend. But when she moved away to her hometown, he avoided her completely. She now says she will try to forget him but may not be able to.She says it has hurt her immmenselty.
Can you forgive someone if u face the same situation ever?
3 people like this
27 responses
@smiley20903 (495)
• United States
14 May 07
Yes you can forgive that person but it will take time. I was in that same situation with my child's father recently. But in my case I ended it we had been engaged for 8 years and he consently cheated on me. and I told him enough was enough I was just tried of dealing with it. So just tell your friend be strong, hold her head up, and keep it moving. and give her a hug from me...it will be all right....
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
16 May 07
Hiii Smiley... I want to Congratulate you, for being a strong woman and breaking that vicious cycle of constant affairs with others, that alot of woman out there globally, have no strength to take the next best step... Awsome, Good for you smiley and you just keep on smiling too...
@smiley20903 (495)
• United States
16 May 07
thanks nardez...it has been hard but i believe and know in myself that things will work out.it is a lesson that i learned and will always keep with me...
@lovelyvon (75)
• United States
15 May 07
for me, i forgive them if though they cheat me because we also can cheat so just for fair we have to forgive each other...god can forgive and so i am!
1 person likes this
@irfan_fatboy (192)
• India
15 May 07
well i think i can forgive that person cuz i am not that emotional and not evern short tempered so maybe i can manage to forgive lol
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
15 May 07
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Unfortunately, its pretty common. It comes with the dating territory. Some guys (and girls too) are just slimeballs. The best you can do is learn from it and move on. As to whether or not to forgive, that is up to the person doing the forgiving...
LIVE IN PEACE
1 person likes this
@kenetot18 (452)
• United States
15 May 07
yah if he's worth forgiving but if not, of course not, i can live without him in my life.
1 person likes this
@lovboop24 (51)
• Philippines
15 May 07
Hurt maybe gone after several years but the scar is always there.Yes,i might forgive the guy who cheated and take advantage of me,but never i forget the things he did,but one thing hard about forgiving someone is when your ready to forgive him but the person who has cause you pain has never asked forgiveness from you.Asking for forgiveness is not hard,but being sincere in asking for forgiveness is what is very hard.ANd besides its really hard to forgive the person who cause you pain not unless you are over with those pain.
1 person likes this
@nobodyspecial (1011)
• United States
14 May 07
Forgiveness isn't for the forgiven...it is for the one doing the forgiving.
There are many hurts that come to us all in life...some change us greatly, some teach us lessons we need to learn. All help mold us into the people we are supposed to become.
None of this will be easy...some if not all of it will take a great deal of time. Some of it may always be present and affecting relationships both to the positive and the negative. Some of it will help in understanding another who also has been hurt.
Forgiveness helps us to live with the events which others have placed upon us...forgiveness does not mean forgetting, it just means letting go.
1 person likes this
@beb_vanie11 (240)
• Philippines
18 May 07
Actually, I dont experience that kind of took advantage feeling. But anyways, my cousin had the kind of experience where he was left by her gf and accompany with a politician men. They loved each other so much, and they even plan for their future. I dont know what happen when we hear our cousin crying loudly. It is my first time that I was seeing a guy crying that so loud. And it because, the girl left him alone. How sad that girl was choosed to be with a politician w/ a lot money than the person who truly loved him. Hoping that all of us,would not just use our brain for searching the best man for us, because the more we look for the better, the more the worst would came for us. Beware of it.
@ranjiths (313)
• India
18 May 07
One of my firend faced one situation.in his schooldays he got in touch with one girl classmate. she looked wonderful. at the first sight itself my fiend got in love with her. He was very handsome too. Yet he was not courageous to speak to that girl and express his feelings. So he said his feelings to another friend of his and ask him to go and tell his feelings to that girl. But what the second guy did was that he went the girl and said that he love her and gave her a love letter too. She was shocked. the second guy even didnt speak to the girl.The girl rejected. Hearing this news the original boy was shocked. later he closed the fiendship chapter with the second firend. But now I think he has forgave the second friend. They are not showing any sense of enemysm now..
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
14 May 07
Hi there, Actually I have. I have forgiven 2 people that took advantage of me 5 maybe 6 years ago, there was money involved but I forgave both of them after awhile and found out that holding grudges against others was just not worth feeling upset like that, and so I learnt to forgive and felt a whole better and still do, I notice that these people who cheated us, have trouble all the time and cant face us at all, but then thats not my problem, but there own... We felt great after we forgave them and we still do today... NO Weight, NO Pain, Just Positive Gain which is a Clear Conscious and Peace Of Mind
@BrianKomeini (276)
• Philippines
15 May 07
It was totally an ungentleman thing to do. To take advantage emotionally someone is like raping her without the violent force - it's just as disgusting and inhumane.
As a man i don't even think this kind of attitude is tolerable. Love is something given by a person to someone whom she trusts, and the last thing you can do is to break it. I myself don't want the same thing to happen to me, so i really must feel symphaty for the girl. May she find someone more deserving of her love.
@zeqi1985 (20)
• Turkey
14 May 07
i recently have experienced the same thing ...my girlfriend in my hometown cheated on me all the time she has been with me or sorry has cheated another guy with me and ii just found it out jaust a mounth ago...i was planning to propose her in several weeks and found out that all the relationship i was having is a big lie?it is really hard to get over it and now i pray the lord that she gets the worse treatment i person can have and regrets of what she has done to me?maybe some others i do't know and wanna know frankly...
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
14 May 07
Whew...that was a heavy resentment to painful experiences...But who would not!Forgiveness is a VIRTUE and unless you forgive yourself, you will be able to forgive others!My ex-husband was the worst person I ever LOVED and he is still the father of my CHILD.Best way to deal with grudges is to make the other person who have done wrong to you to feel the GUILT and this will haunt him for a lifetime. If you show your weak side to people who had hurt you the more they will make fun of it.I had lost everything,even my son who is now with him because of his vicious intention,manipulation,narcissism and womanizing. Well, I embraced patience for this tribulation and said to myself,"No wallowing, No self pity". Today I feel a brand new person because I can never buy a strong character God had molded me to.After long years of acknowledging that it is not my battle but God's so His blessings had poured out too.I am now engaged to a man who Loved me honestly(We have known each other for seven years) and proposed to me last year.We are opposites from our beliefs to our race and colour but we loved each other so much.Everything that happened to us, even if it vanished our very old SELF, was not an accident but a plan for US so we could better ourselves.And to my fellow lotters, who've been hurt so much...Be thankful and pray always, God will bless you at the end. And for others who are still hurting and resentful, Time will always heal our pain. Take time to deal with it but do not dwell on it, turn it into a positive way that without this you wouldn't discover your weak side and your wrong doings.And to those who have friends who are victims of these distrustful relationship, assist them to get up from their downfall. Time will heal and refreshes our pains. Support each other and do your best to move on with life...All good things take time.May God Heal you ALL!!!
@laridbz (1280)
• China
14 May 07
Yes, I think I would forgive. "Cheating" is something relative. I think having an affair is not something so bad as people say.
I say that because I've been there before. I've cheated a few times in my life, and I didn't do it only because I'm completely heartless. I had my motives. And I was forgiven. So, why wouldn't I forgive?
@Aspenn (30)
• United States
14 May 07
I've only been truly hurt one time and I've never been able to forgive. People who are so hurtful to others don't deserve the time or energy of mine. It's better to move on and hope that their decision will affect them in some way to where they learn how to change their behavior for the better.
1 person likes this
@neo_matrix (884)
• India
14 May 07
Human nature to cheat is very cause of every problem in this world. I too have faced this problem when i was just being used by a girl whom loved so much that no one ever could.What she did to me was the worst phase of my life. I thought that i would never forgive her .and lost my confidence over me as she humiliated me for my short height and my looks. But I still love her and i don't have courage to approach to any girl in life.I can understand what ur friend must be going on
.As my best friend says you will sooner and later find some one better than that person and the life would be beautiful again . I hope for same thing for ur friend
@ydnac22 (802)
• Philippines
14 May 07
Well you frend is not alone in this situation.I was also cheated before and yes the pain is unbearable.Our is a long distance relationship and it lasted for 3 years.We do plan for our future but he just surprised me one time when I heard that he's having another girl and this girl got pregnant.At first I felt like dying.Feels like my dreams ends.No nights that i dont cry.Just dont know how to let go and move on.Months past until I realised that I have to leave life.No reason to waste time crying over a spoiled milk.Life must go on.I put this in mind that we really not meant for each other and I should keep on going to meet the right one for me.GOing back to your question about forgiveness.Personally I havent forgiven my x yet.Our relationship ends so badly that we dont even have a serious talk after that happens.I dont even heard a single word sorry from him so why forgive?Yes I knew forgiveness is very important for us to have peace of mind but its a very long process for me and I dont want to rush it.It's really hard to pretend that the pain is over.I knew someday or maybe one of this days I can give him my forgiveness.I knew he dont expect for it anymore but I'll still try to give it to him as a gift to my self.
Extend my regards to your frend.I'm sure she can do it! God bless.:)
@catcai (1056)
• Philippines
15 May 07
This is a question that i am still struggling to resolve. As of now, i am still not able to forgive an ex boyfriend who took advantage of me just to leave me to become a single mom. it is really hard to forgive someone who purposely hurt your feelings, im only human and im really struggling hard to forgive the father of my child but i just can't. Im currently attending a recovery program just to help me recover from all the pain he's caused me. I know from a religious point of view that i should be forgiving him i just don't know how i can. =( so i dont think i can forgive someone who hurt me that much that easy. I think its gonna take me years
@flashworks69 (8)
• Philippines
14 May 07
Definitely NOT! People like that doesnt even deserve forgiveness be it man or woman, cheating is cheating, and he took advantage. There are a lot of people like that so we have to be careful in choosing our partners. May that be a lesson to all you are being careless
@thakurpushpraj (34)
• India
14 May 07
this hs never happened wid me till now....bt if it happens den definately i would never 4giv dat person....
dis type of thing happened wid 1 of my frnd..where dey both had a almost 11 months relationship...1 day dey had a fight and my frnd got angry and stopped talkin to him...and guy didn't even tried to patch things up.....and 2 days bac she tried to call him den guy said dat he ws busy and will cal l8er......and l8er on he changed his cell phone no and city too......
