Have you ever done this?

I usually say the sentence as " Then I had kids & reuined my life". JKD! Or am I? I'm guessing you've been talking to the mothers, they tend to get very emotionally attached & feel the kids complete them. The dads however I doubt would say that much. Mention kids and they'll probably offer to let you take theirs ( WINK WINK ). When talking to non-parenting friends I congradulate them on having good sense & not adding to the surplus population. DON'T DO IT, I'M WARNING YOU NOW. THEIR JUST TRYING TO PULL YOU IN....

I don't blame you for being infuriated. I have kids, but I certainly don't think it's for everyone, and I have days where I fantasize about how my life might have been, if I'd stayed child free. I love them, and I think I'm a decent parent, but they're a ton of work, and certainly add to my more to my stress level than they take away from it. I see a number of friends regularly who have no kids, and I completely understand and respect their choice. I enjoy meeting up with them and being able to discuss topics other than children for a change.

Giving birth to a child or motherhood is a divine gift of nature for which every female should be proud of. I am father of two sons and it makes me happy to see my same characteristics reflected in both of them as well as her character. In fact they come in them in a more refined way. It makes me feel good seeing them attaining many things which I couldn't. I am happy with my kids, for being their dad, happy and comfortable with my life. No negative thoughts in my mind. Thank you for asking.

Hi, I can undrestand where your frustration comes from. If I had a non-parenting friend I wouldn't be saying things in certain ways that I know would be upseting to them. But try to bear with us parents and understand that having kids is more than just to 'perpetuate the species'. These are little beings that we help to bring to life. They are part of us. They're your greatest love,(and sometimes pain). So praising there presence here with us is something that most parents loves to do whenever they get the chance and because it comes so naturally. Don't you praise yourself whenever you do something you thought was great? And wouldn't you like to say to everybody 'hey, look at me .I did that! Isn't it great!!' Well, that's just what loving parents do whenever they get the chance. So please just try to bear with us. I can hinestly tell you that a few years ago the last thing i wanted was to have one of these little things running in my way driving me mad. I went through mental hell when I found out that I was pregnanT and not believing that abortions was right I had to decide whether I was going to keep the baby or give her up for abortion, keeping in mind that I had Absolutely nothing but the clothes on my back. Becoming a mother was the most unbelievable and bitter-sweet experiences of my life. After nine months of pregnancy and labour your whole look on life changes. So bear with us.

Ahh.. On my side of the fence.. I am childless.. wasn't a choice I myself would've made.. However.. having children isn't in the cards for me.. or wasn't. I work in a pharmacy.. And I'll tell you.. all the women except for myself have children, grandchildren or are in the throes of being pregnant.. And I hear it all..And I've been asked the same questions over and over and over again.. "Didn't you want to have kids?" I tend to find myself getting my feathers ruffled with this question.. Or the infamous, "Why can't you have kids?" Some of us made a personal choice in remaining childless, others, it wasn't to be..

Nope and I never would. I have made the statment that I can't really remember what life was like before I had kids, but that was mearly a statment to how much they have affected my life as a whole, not so much good or bad just a statment of change. Frankly I don't care if a person wants to or doesn't want to have children, thats their choice. I will never think anything less of a person who choses not to be a parent or anything more of one who has choosen to be one. I don't think having children makes you any better or any worse as a person, it just makes you different, like with any life changing event.

if kids come , ok maybe it will be beatifull , but if they didn't come i think it will be more and more beatifull , i don't know maybe it something called freedom . some say : oh you can't imagine how blessed to have children then u find them shouting and screaming at them and they still saying : oh i am blessed with them and i want more , maybe they want to loose their voices , for me i love children but the problem is that i know how smart they can be , and how did they can make u their toys , they know exactly when they should cry and when to smile at your face a big beautiful smile just to get what they need , yes life can be beautiful with them but it will be more beautiful without them , i think .

I think yours is a typical minority group backlash reaction. haha Don't take it so personal. It's you who are reading smugness into what they say, I'm sure. We had good friends who had not started a family when all around them kids were popping out all over the place. They couldn't understand what all the fuss was about and said on more than one occasion that they were really bored with babies as a topic of conversation. Then they had a baby. Well, the floodgates opened and it was really funny listening to her talking endlessly about her child. We reminded her of what she used to say about us and we all had a good laugh about it. Yes, children do change your life, though to say '...found out what life's really about' is a bit premature. haha

You can say exactly the same thing in many different ways. If it's clear that you're being given a message--that you should want children and are missing something very important, then yes, you have a right to resent it. I had two children. I didn't want either of them, but got married at a time when the knowledge and availability of birth control were both in short supply. I did an adequate job as a mother, but I was happy when my kids grew up and were on their own. We're good friends, so I can't say I was sorry to have had them, but I might have been a lot happier without them. People tend to think that what makes them happy is automatically what will make everyone happy. They're also taught that being a parent is a natural goal for everybody. They don't necessarily mean to be intolerant or preachy.

I too decided not to have kids even before I found out I couldn't.I do find that some parents have a tendency to get smug with childless people even besides with what you were saying. Those of us who choose to not bring kids in this world should have our decision respected and not make smug remarks about it period.

I don't have children either and although I wanted them desperately when I was young I'm now glad I didn't. The world has changed since I was a kid and I wouldn't want to have my child grow up in it today. I don't think having kids makes you any more special than anyone else. LIVE IN PEACE

I wouldnt ever make such a comment to any of my friends, half the members of my family have decided not to have kids. I can tell you honostly I feel more love towards my kids than I ever did with anybody else in my life. I replied to another subject earlier about what you were going to leave behind after you die and said you dont have to have children to leave a legacy of good you can build that with total strangers or people you know so that it might get carried on after you are gone.

I don't think this is a smug line of B.S. People really feel this about their children. For you it may be something else. It's a personal choice. If someone is saying this to you just to hurt you, then they have a serious problem. No one should ever try to push their ideals onto someone else. That just sucks to be the recipent of that kind of thing. I'm a parent and I would never say anything on purpose to try to hurt someone's feelings because they didn't make the same choice as me.

UM! OK I don't have any big words to answer that one but...I feel that my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and then again I have friends who should have waited to have kids. I believe that becomeing a parent is an indivdual decission and if you are comfortable with your choices, it no ones place to say other wise. I also think that your friends comment may have been geared more tword her individual insite on the subject.

I have never said it in that way but have said that when I had my children that for me , it changed my life as I could never imagine the overwhelming feeling of love and protection for anyone until I had my children but I don't believe that somehow this means I have more then someone without children . We are all different and you will have experienced things that I haven't for the simple fact that we are two different people and will have tried and did different things in our life . This does not make me better then you somehow or you better then me , it just makes our experiences in life different and where I have found life different since I have had my children you also would have found your life different for some other reason as for the fact that as we get older things change , we meet new people who will influence us or have a big inpact on our lives , we will try new things that we would never have thought we would have tried when we were younger or will go places we never imagined , anything we have done in life affects who we are and what life is all about but having children is just one of the things in life one can do , it is definitely not something for everyone the same as sky diving wouldn't be for everyone . We are all different in life and this is a good thing as life would be pretty boring if we were all the same . If you never desired having children then you are not missing anything as you are happy and complete being you . My children have made me who I am but there will be something in your life that you will be able to say , made you who you are .

No, I respect everyone's choice to have or not have children. When someone says that parenthood is "what life is about" really means it fulfilled THEIR life goals/dreams. Or, it means they are rationalizing. In any event, people deserve the right to choose and respect for whatever they choose. Of course, the President of the United States doesn't believe that a woman has the right to choose an abortion if she becomes pregnant when she doesn't want to have a child. [That's a whole other "can of worms".]