When people fake...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
May 15, 2007 11:24pm CST
My stepfathers mother had a stroke a few months ago and my mom and stepfather moved her in with them when she was able to leave the hospital. The stroke left her with her left side being very weak and limited in use. She has been on disability for years for not being able to hear.
The problem is...although I agree she has health problems she fakes alot of it to get attention. She will pretend she can't hear you when you are 6" from her face but can hear you talking quietly 4 rooms away, she will refuse to help lift herself (she is over 300 lbs.) and has pulled out more than one back b/c of it. She will purposely shove her mouth so full that she will choke on her food. The last two months she has refused to speak saying it hurts...then Mothers Day morning her other son came to visit and she spoke loud and clear. When ppl come over that she likes she will practically pull herself out of her wheelchair for them.
I've told my mom to put her in a Nursing home and be done with it b/c I hate to see my mom (who is almost 60) killing herself for someone who is faking alot of her problems.
What would you do?? Do you think I'm wrong??
1 person likes this
4 responses
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
19 May 07
I don't know why some older people do this to the people who are trying to care for them, but I've seen it too often. It seems like they make things as difficult as they possibly can. My friend's mother is like that.
I believe your mom should try and get some help, or the nursing home might be the best option. If she doesn't, she may develop health problems herself related to the stress of trying to take care of her mother in law.
Even in the best case scenario, it's very difficult caring for an elderly person with a disability, and it's really too much to expect one person to do it. I'm assuming that your mom is doing most of the caregiving herself, with your stepdad helping minimally, because that's the way it usually is. But even if he is helping half of the time, it's still very hard, if not impossible.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
19 May 07
Actually that is what they are doing...looking into another place for her. My stepfather helps as well but he has health problems with his legs that make lifting her (shes a very large woman) harder on his legs and back. Also my mothers mom lives with them and has also had a stroke...all the arguing is causing her stress as well. Thank you for your help.
LIVE IN PEACE
1 person likes this
@VotreAmie (3028)
• United States
24 May 07
Hi twoey. This is a sad habit of old people. A lot of them fake pain in order to get attention. It's nice that your mother is helping her but when someone is faking that much it's not healthy for your mom to continue taking care of her. When somebody is honest and they really do their best to not be a burden on you okay you can help if you can, but in this case and if this was happening to my mom I would advise the same and put the mother in-law in a nursing home.
1 person likes this
@ten010 (81)
• India
16 May 07
You are absolutely correct, this is an old habit of old people to get attention. I have also faced such situation and this is normal if you ask people around you. At old age, I donot know why people behave like that but what I feel you should not faulter at your duties. Rest assured you will too behave like the she is doing when you are old. Everybody including her visitors also understand this and just never try to explain this to anyone. Such explanation doesnot ease out the situation but may represent you as a poor person before them.
Donot just give her any extra attention as she is never going to be satisfied by your service. Just do your duties as much as possible.
@VotreAmie (3028)
• United States
24 May 07
Hi twoey. This is a sad habit of old people. A lot of them fake pain in order to get attention. It's nice that your mother is helping her but when someone is faking that much it's not healthy for your mom to continue taking care of her. When somebody is honest and they really do their best to not be a burden on you okay you can help if you can, but in this case and if this was happening to my mom I would advise the same and put the mother in-law in a nursing home.
1 person likes this
