hard-headed husband

How about helping him find something he is actually interested in? Perhaps he is tired of just floating from job to job. Introduce him to http://www.craigslist.com that is one of my favorite job finding sites. There is something for everyone. Perhaps he would like to be a freelance-somthing. No matter what you say, it's him that has to tolerate the crappy working conditions or the low pay that employment in something he doesn't want brings. Encourage him to look into things that truly interest him and that he is good at. Perhaps the right opportunity has not come along. Encourage him to look into local schools for classes to increase his hiring power as well. Depending on his skill-set and your money situation perhaps there is a business he would like to start, or someone he knows that runs a home-business that he would like to partner in. These are all ideas toward getting employment. If writing a resume is a problem, (Not everyone can write a winning resume) then offer to help type it if he typing is not up to par. I would be careful of about calling him irresponsible. Do you work? If you work....ask yourself this...are you just sick of being the only one that has to leave home every day? Or, do you really need the money. If you really need the money present him with the figures that prove you really need the money. Analytical thinking often moves stubbornness toward what we want to accomplish. If he is a good dad, then he is not irresponsible. One does not have to have a job to be a good Daddy. In fact I think my husband (a disabled vet) is a better father partially because he HAS had to stay home with the kids while I work. Also, if there are any physical problems like a bad back or something, it is very hard to find work anywhere. While employers don't want to discriminate a lot of times they will not hire if people are honest about their conditions just because they are afraid the employee with back problems will be more of a liability. While it may not be right...it is the cold hard truth. Make sure you are not just blaming him when the fact is the job market is a tough place to have to shop. Look to his strengths. Did you fall in love with him because he had money to begin with? If that is the case, then it was for the wrong reasons to begin with, and no amount of goading will do you any good. On the other hand..if you actually love your husband unconditionally then calling him names is not going to help at all and you should probably consider backing off and trying a new tactic before you offend him beyond repair. I would not be very motivated to find work if I felt like you were trying to get rid of me. So, try a little sugar with all that nagging and see if you can get somewhere. Concrete ideas instead of "what's the matter are ya lazy or deaf or something?" Is often all that is needed. If you are unable to work and he is the only able bodied person in the household then tell him that as well. Make a list of all the reasons for him to go to work. (DO NOT INCLUDE: So I won't think you are lazy and irresponsible!!!) Using derogatory terms needs to stop and you need to start actually caring about why he isn't working. Perhaps he really wants to be a SAHDad. There are those Dads that really enjoy caring for their children. SO if you really think he is lazy..and you can beyond a reasonable doubt see no reason for him not to work..then tell him so..but don't expect the marriage to heal because you goad him into a cashier job at a gas station when he really wants to be an artist or something. That's my Two cents worth!

It's the male ego working. Some men are too proud to make the necessary steps to get a job. They seem to be afraid of being rejected. Your husband might have negative experiences regarding looking for work and you don't know about this. Find out and try to help him heal little by little to regain his self-confidence.

You are correct that he is irresponsible. You should not have to fight over employment. He should be more than willing and able to keep a job to support his family. He married you and promised to love and honor you, and he is not doing that! He seems deaf to your pleas for him to find work because he is also lazy and doesn't want to work. There is no reason for that at all, you shouldn't have to worry about such things! I wish you the best of luck my dear!

That was also my problem before we keep fighting and fighting coz I really saw that he has no guts to find a job for our daughter's future. So I'm the one who finds a job coz I'm tired of nagging him and teeling about finding a job. I let him saw me how I strive and how hard I am just to have everyday expenses, I never talk to him, I ignore him just like his no longer exsist in my sight I want him to feel that I can lived and give his daughter needs wihout his help. Until one day maybe he realized he talks to me seriously but it was not that so easy to forgive him, I laid my side telling him that I can loose him if he don't want to help me, I gave him one condition, and he promised me that he will find a job. AS of now although his earning is not so high in his job, he prove to me that he do what he promised to me.

Use positive motivating rather than going for criticizing,because critisizing may give negative effect. Dream with him,incllude him in your dreams and narrate them to him, create interest in him but be patient for his response