Don't Tell Me How To Raise My Kids

When my kids were growing up I got a lot of advice from relatives that didn't have kids. All the wrong advice! Lucky for me I didn't pay attention! After they had kids I noticed they didn't follow their own advice.

yes it drives me crazy how certain people can judge you and tell you how you should do things and they really have no idea it is kind of funny how smart some seem to think they are about it when they really have no clue but they can make you feel so small at times when you are so stressed

I think that people should not but into a situation between a mother and child. I however am a stricked mom. I never let my child run around a store, yell and screaming but so many people do these days. I never took my child to a store like target and left them in the toy department to play while I went shopping. I also never let my child push adults out of their way because they wanted something off the shelf. Perhaps these moms need some advice.

Oh, I agree with you on that one. I was a single Mom, of a good kid, who was not a scholar (not even close). Every time the phone would ring at work and it was a teacher with a comment/complaint, as soon as I hung up the phone, she was their with all of her advice. She had no children, she was a DINK. When my son got a job, he was 16, she immediately start sending me email telling me that he should start a retirement fund. He was saving for things like a car, etc. He was not in the least concerned about retirement. One day he came into work with me an she tried telling him how to set up a retirement plan. He looked at her and said I am not even old enough for a checking account! I thought that was pretty good. She constantly told me how to raise him. She had one niece, considerably younger then my son. Her only experience in child raising was from the perspective of being a former child.

Shoot SWT, there are even some parents WITH kids that I don't want to hear their advice, lol! But I totally agree. I worked in a daycare for years, and the director was in her 50's with no kids. I hated how she told us to handle the kids there, and she would even tell me how to deal with my own kids. Um hello? How does she think she even knows? It is so irritating!

My son is only 14 months old but I know where you're coming from. My problem is people that haven't raised kids for 20, 30 or 40 years but feel like they know everything. Things have changed in the last 20 years and things that were once considered safe are NO LONGER safe! I think people should save there advice and only give it if it's asked for. I also think people that don't have kids shouldn't even attempt to give advice because babysitting is NOT the same as raising your own child.

I agree with you. Sometimes you've got to walk a mile in a person's shoes before you give advice. Now that one of my son has reached his teen years, I find that I'm even more annoyed with advice from those without teens. I just nod politely and say, call me when your son/daughter reaches their teens. We'll discuss it then.

I can think of so many things which the above statement applies to. My mother needs to stop telling me what is wrong with my computer, when she has absolutely no idea how to turn on a computer, let alone how to use one. Also, when people do have the experience to back up their advice, they need to wait until their advice is asked for, before they jump in. Just because a friend of mine has raised 8 teenagers, doesn't mean she's entitled to PREACH at everyone with whom she does not agree.

I cant stand that myself and the WORST kind to me is a person who not only doesnt have any children but they also have no intention of having children because they really dont like kids all that much....UM HELLO you dont even LIKE KIDS what in the hell makes you think you knwo the first bloody thing about raising a child??

My kids are 10 (almost 11) and a 5 yr old. So I think I would be very stupid to give someone advice on teens when I don't have a teen of my own. I have a teen niece and nephew, but I could't tell you from day from night with them. Heck each child is different. I can't tell you about kids ages from birth to 10, because my last child is like night and day with my first child. Now I will ask for advice from family members that had kids about certain things, like what's best to get rid of a fever to diaper rashes, to other things. When my kids get's to be teens and I'm still sane. I still won't give out advice. Now if I'm asked, I will try my best to. Now when it comes to discipline, that's a different story all together. I will not tell a parent how to discipline there child. Nor would I want someone telling me how to. That's crossing the line big time. My mom told me that someone actually told my dad how to discipline my oldest brother, and my dad said fine. Go in my home, pack his stuff up and you take him home and you discipline him, if not, I would appreciate you to shut up and never tell me how to raise my kids. Mom told me that this person never bugged my parents again about it. People with no kids needs to hush, taking care of a pet is not the same as taking care of a child.

It really is irritating when non-parents give parental advice...even other parents...will often have differing opinions about what should be done..... The best thing about advice...is that you have the choice to use it or not.....I do not mean that in an ugly way....

Yes it drives me crazy but I have my own mind & can make my own choice as how to parent my kids. People are going to always try and tell you the "better" way to raise your kids, you can either look at it as constrcutive advice or as they should mind there own business. I know when people try to put there input into how im raising my daughter I take it as constructive advice and thank them but it doesnt mean I use there advice because ultimately its my choice on raising my daughter.

I agree with you, nobody can teach you how to raise your own kids! As a mother, you know what's the better way to raise them, that's what I think. Each mother has her own way to raise their kids and it's always thinking about making them happy! So nobody has the right to tell a mother she's wrong and try to teach her the right way... I'm not a mother yet, but I'm sure I won't like someone trying to tell me how to rase my kids!

I could understand, but to keep it from happening (at least from some of the same people.) It might be helpful (I know, ironic way to start considering "advise" is the vice around here) is to let them know their input is not welcome. Just as right now you may just want sympathy, I am trying my best to provide an answer to an unasked question and it is simply in my nature to try and solve problems. Back to the point, I am pleading for the clueless, naive, ignorants who don't understand; be patient. Granted I am sure there are people who are snobs about child rearing (I couldn't imagine that whole retirement issue going down without wanting to pop the lady in the face), there are still those few that honestly mean good even IF they don't understand how out of place they comments are; here I am imagining babysitters. I plea for them because it is there I could imagine myself falling into such a category. I'd imagine if I felt I had some experience with kids (like a baby sitter would), and particularly with my instinct to provide answers if I can (whether or not asked), I would end up offering advise. If someone told me "Please don't start" I think I would quickly clam up and say sorry. That's me, and so I plea for a projection of myself coming to unintentionally making a mother's day worse, Be kind to the good-intentioned ignoramuses.

Well it's all in how you see it. I don't have kids YET but that doesn't mean I can't give the best parenting advice out there. I have babysat most of my life. Just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't make them any dumber and it doesn't make you smarter. Now, I don't go preaching to people on how to raise their kids because it's none of my business. But, if you were to coome to me and complain about what your son/daughter is doing or ask for advice, I am gonna tell ya what I think. Maybe don't tell others your problems with your kids and they may not have to give you advice ( if this is what is happening). I am just saying overall and not pointing fingers at you. This is just a general statement that I would make to someone if they didn't like me giving them advice. But I do have to say that giving advice on parenting versus preaching are two different things. Just my thoughts

AMEN!! I completely agree with you I hate it when people tell me how to raise my children that they hardly anything about my children. It is always easy looking in on a situation but until you are in the situation and have first hadn knowledge of the situation than people should learn to keep their traps shut.

I totally agree with you, additionally I do ask for advice with the children already, this is different case. I have a friend who did not have any kids when my daughter is about 2 years old, once she found my daughter did not want others to play with her toy she was playing with, and she told me "you should tell your kid to share, she is selfish." I felt really unhappy about what she said, I know how to teach my daughter, and she do share her toys with others, but there must be sometime she do not want others to get it, it is so common for a 2 years kid. This can not be named as selfish. And now, she has her own son, and such thing happens frequently, and she begin to suit to it, and never tell anything about selfish anymore.

I have a daughter but my mother raises her and it drives insane because she thinks she such an expert.Most of the time I don't even feel like I have a kid.