being stressed out
need a maid and a nanny
periods
too many errands
too many kids
too much to do
womens issues
Something is wrong with me...
By Stephanie5
@Stephanie5 (2946)
United States
May 16, 2007 11:39pm CST
I have had a headache every single day for the last 5 1/2 weeks. And out of the 5 1/2 weeks, I have been on my period for 3 weeks and 4 days. I feel like I'm going to die. My mood swings are soo bad that I just stopped talking to people all together. I have no patience for anyone or anything. I've lost my sense of humor and my kids are beginning to just hate me, my husband already does.
What the heck is wrong with me??? Surely all this can't be from just my periods. My friend thinks I'm depressed but I don't think so...I just have so much going on ALL the time...
It's very hard to find any time for myself. I haven't been able to get online hardly at all and usually not for more than 5 minutes, I haven't had time to paint my very bad looking toenails, my brows need plucked, I don't remember the last time I shaved (ewww). It's horrible. There is just not enough time in the day. It's very hard to focus on anything for too long. I feel like I've lost all control.
My husband is 2 states away and has been for the last two weeks, so I'm forced to drive my children back and forth to school and it's a 3 hour drive to get there and back. (because we chose not change their school when we moved) But it was easier when he was working in the same town and he was the one taking them back and forth. I have to get 5 kids up and dressed and in the car with a diaper bag, 5 baby dolls, 3 power rangers, sippy cup and bags of breakfast,and throw blankets,and a stray puppy that I can't leave at home because my other dog will eat her, 3 back packs, 2 pairs of glasses and 5 pairs of shoes. Oh, and I have to make sure that my 5 year old actually puts on the clothes I give him (he tries to cover with the blanket and not get dressed). Oh and I'm having to drive my neighbors car because we don't have the money to plate my new van....And so I have to put 4 kids in the backseat and the dog and the other kid in the front. It's NOT a pleasant ride AT ALL. And I have to do it twice a day :-( Only eight more days of school...Thank Goodness!
I need help. I can't keep up. I try to let somethings go so I have more time for others, but I don't get done with laundy and get to bed until 12-1 am and I have to get up by 5 am. I'm exhuasted. And all of this isn't even 1/4 of the issues I got going on right now. I'm trying to stay sane. Thanks for letting me vent! Take care...
P.S. I know I need to go to the doctor, but that is not possible right now. I have no insurance and we have no money.
6 people like this
18 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Sweetie first of all see if you can get the vitamin Sunfloweroil and if you can get it and take it
Your Headaches are down to stress and exhaustions
You need to start a routine there you are trying to do everything, you can't
If something has to be left and done another Day so be it, Do what needs to be done every day the little Things
One Day at a time do the big things
With 5 Kids you have your Hands full I suggest that the older ones help you as well
They could do things like the Washing up and that
You need to start a Routine Sweetie or you will end up ill and no use to anyone
So please start it now
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
19 May 07
OH GABS! I would LOVE it if you could come up with a schedule for me. I just can't seem to do it. I end up re-doing it and re-doing it and then I give up. I really need to do something to make things easier. And your right, I do need to start having the kids take out the trash, do dishes, laundry, cleaning their own rooms, etc. It's just hard because they don't do it the way I do it. And normally I would end up redoing it. But, I don't think I would now, I'm too tired...lol
Thank you for your care and concern. And I will ty that vitamin. Thanks again. Take care and I will be pming you.
1 person likes this
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
18 May 07
i am telling you you dont have to go to any doctor if you faith in yourself,i am telling all things like this is of mood swings and depression lot to do the life style one is living .earlier i was a depressed person my mood swings and i got addicted to eating lot of foods,i eat a lot alot lot untill i fell to bed.i thought i never escape from the situation ,but accidently since i was interested in yoga i saw a t.v programme by swami ramdev who is healing and giving solace to millions in india .he thourgh his breathing techniches has in fact cured thousands from cancer,depression,heart disease.if possible watch T.V channels mentioned in his site or you can learn by watching the site,but i dont think it will be adequate visit
www.divyayoga.com
i think he is coming to us and uk next month for details
www.powerofbreath.org
learn two pranayamas or breath tech which will remove your all propblems like anuloma -viloma,kapalbhati,brhamario,you may feel funny but i am serious do it for three months regularly morning before 7.00 am emptystomach .do it each first for 2 or 3 min each in first week increase it to 5 min each and then 15 min each.sure benefit .change your diet to raw veg and fruits this will also help.find out more about yoga by serching internet
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
18 May 07
i just checked divyayoga .com somehow it is not connecting in my browser ,try learn pranayam this will solve yuor problem sure ,also the food one takes also has lot to do our mind if you take positive foods means life food which gives you life ,foods like raw veg and fruits has got life in it it will give new life if you eat that thing which wll also give positive energy in you.but it wont be easy coz at the times of depressiong we will have cravings for all those junk and stale foods.
www.drbass.com
1 person likes this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
17 May 07
sounds like your running on too much stress.
i blead like that with a huge migraine because of way too much stress and then a few months of it later i got these little tumors called polyps in my cervix, no i don't think you will get them or anything, though it's possible, it's just one of those things...
Anyway, you didn't say why your hubby was moved out, but maybe it's an idea now to switch the kids schools when their done, if their done for the year holly heck, we don't get out here until june... but if it's spring break, maybe it's a good idea to say ta heck with the school and switch em closer, just for your sanity.
Then, i think it might be in your best interest in getting a friend or family member to take the kids for a while (or even have them all on sleepovers one night) say the hell with everything and have a nice relaxing night to yourself.
Migraines can also be a result of severe depression, and so can your periods being messed up, but it's not always the case.
See if you can get on a schedule of some sort, get things in order so that all those things you have to do have certain times for doing them, and the rest of the time you can relax spend time with the kids have a nap or otherwise.
Like say you have laundry to do, dinner to cook and cleaning to do.
Just throw a load of laundry in, put a meal on to cook, and run around doing whatever else needs to be done all at once, so that you get those 3 things tackled in the time it would have taken to do one.
Doing it that way saves you time, and energy.
Also hun, i found with my depression and stress problems that it really helps when i light up some jasmine/lavander/sandallwood/frankonsence or juniper
insence or candle, it doesn't matter, that makes you feel calmer and more relaxed even if your riddled with problems, and tea, i know it sounds odd, but if you go and get some camomile tea, it's cheap and lasts a while, and you have a cup when you find yourself getting moody, right before bed, or when you have a headache, it'll conquor a lot of problems.
And if you ever need to talk, let me know.
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
19 May 07
Thank you so much for the advice. I do clean like you said, but it's constant, because I just can't seem to get everything done...I don't think the bottom of the hamper even exists. And with potty training and a new puppy EVERYTHING has to be washed constantly. I will try the tea though. I have lots of candles and always burning to cover the scent of the dogs...or is it the kids? lol
It's all in my mind. I'm so high-strung and I haven't found a way to calm myself...yet. The tea might really help! Thank you so much for your care and concern and I just might take you up on the offer to talk ;-) Have a great day!
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
17 May 07
Now STeph, you know I would never tell you what to do. I know and feel a lot of your pain 9 times out of 10, I've gone through it. BUT right now I am TELLING you, take your butt to the doctor. Call around your area and find a clinic. When I first moved up here I had no insurance and I took my kids and myself to a clinic. There will be a lot of paper work, as they decide how much you will pay. They'll ask how much you make, your husband, etc. But it's worth it. If not that than definitely go to the ER with all that bleeding. Stress may be at the root of everything, but these things are happening and need to be controlled sweetie. You want to be there to watch your kids grow up don't you? I recently had a lot of health problems told to me by my doctor. If I hadn't gone to her when I did, I might not be here typing right now. Trust me, find a way to go to the doctor.
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
19 May 07
I know, I need to go to an OB doc QUICKLY and I will. I just can't afford it right now. And I don't have anyone to leave the kids with. I did go to the E.R. the other night so I don't think I'm going to just fall over anytime soon. I just wish I could find a way to make things a little easier. I think I'm going to hand out some chores to the kids and let them take up some of the slack. Then I'm going to have to make myself deal the the towels being folded the wrong way and the kitchen floor being wet from someone else doing the dishes. It's just so hard...ugh. I need to quit sweating the small stuff. Thank you so much for your care and concern. Take care!
@onecutehoneybear (938)
• United States
17 May 07
Wow, it sounds like you have too much going. The stress is probably what is causing your headaches and your period. I know when I'm stressed my headache doesn't go away and I get my period more often and closer together.
I'm sorry you are going through this. You need to take a long hot bath and breath. I know it doesn't seem possible but if you can try to soak in some bath salts or something.
I'll keep you in my prayers and I hope things get better for you really soon. Keep us updated if things change after your kids get out of school.
My hubby is out of state too, I only have 1 child so I could only imagine how much more stressed you are. Take it easy!
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
19 May 07
Awe, thank you so much. I appreciate you praying for me and for your concern. I just might take that nice hot bath tonight :-). Have a great day!
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
17 May 07
You really need to see a doctor, are there any low cost clinics where you live?
Back in 2000, I had my period for 21 days straight, I finally went to the doctor, and when they did an ultrasound they found a hemoraging cyst on my ovary, but that can be an indication of all kinds of serious issues.
Depending on your income, you also may be able to get medical help from the state. You really should look into it.
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4579)
•
17 May 07
It seems to me like you have two separate issues going on. The first is problems with your period which sounds very symptomatic of fibroids. This is not a cause for alarm but it does need medical attention. I realise you don't have a National Health Service like we have here in the UK but surely there is some provision made for people who don't have medical insurance, etc? You must see a doctor about it because prolonged bleeding like that will lead to further health problems plus it will be draining your energy which already sounds low.
Secondly quite obviously you are suffering from stress. No wonder - five kids is a lot to cope with alone. The most obvious thing that springs to mind is changing the kids school. 3 hours a day is a lot of travelling and can't be that enjoyable for the kids either! Unless there is a very, very good reason for not moving them to the local school I would seriously consider doing so. I know it's an upheaval but really you have to be practical about these things. You just don't have the time to be doing all that travelling every day. I'm not sure what the situation is with your husband - I assume him working two states away is a temporary arrangement so when he gets back he will be able to do more and take some of the load from you. It also sounds like you have a good relationship with your neighbour - is it possible that they could maybe help out a little in the meantime?
The most positive thing about your post is that you know you can't keep up and you are freely acknowledging it. That's a very good thing to be able to do - a lot of people just struggle on until they pass breaking point without admitting they need some help. I hope you get it but I stress again - go see the doctor!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
18 May 07
I would say that it is probably stress. You sure are under enough of it. Hopefully things will get better when the kids are out of school. You may end up having to go to the doctor to get things back to normal. I know you said that is not an option, but some things we don't have any control over.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30181)
• Philippines
18 May 07
you are really stressed, one good thing is you are trying to vent it out.
and everyone is saying right that with or without money, you really have to go see a doctor. isnt there a free one for a good check up? please do try be sane as you have said, too many children is dependent on you. im sure your kids are not very hard headed and some are just trying to be cute by not getting dressed asap...
Gooluck and i do hope uyour husband gets back soon... one last thing, you may already want to move your kids to a nearer place now.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
18 May 07
You are so burnt out it's not even funny. Your being the kids mom and dad, while your husband is away. Now with the headaches, that honestly needs to be checked out. I lost a great aunt from a aneryrism (didn't spell that right), she complained of having to many headaches. Don't want to scare you, but also need you to see the seriousness behind it. You can call around to see if there are any free clinics near where you live. This could also be from all the stress your under. I wish I lived closer to you, I would offer to watch your kids for you, so you could get a break. Also help you around the house. You need all the help you can get your older kids to
help you around the house. Even if it's helping you do the dishes, laundry, picking up around the house. Plus you need to talk to your husband. Last thing you and him both need is something happening to you, and he's left raising 5 kids. You also need to change schools, so the kids can take the bus or quicker than driving 3 hours. Be able to save money on gas.
Take the kids to friends houses, find a free sitter, maybe the neighbors for a few hours. Go take a hot bath, soak as long as you want. Listen to some music, and just relax. I honestly think after you learn how to release this stress, your headaches might lighten up and your period as well. Now if your period keeps going, something else might be causing this. Stress can be related to so many health problems. Before you can help your family, you have to take care of yourself first. The same goes with prayer, before you can pray for everyone else you need to pray for yourself first. A very good friend of mine told me that.
@mommey20032005 (264)
• United States
17 May 07
Even though you have no money or insurance right now, you should still go. Your losing a lot of blood and it will get worse. I have the same problem, but for me I will skip a month. then I'll fianlly get it the next month, but it is so heavy and it last 2 to 3 weeks or more at times.
1 person likes this
@toplen (335)
• Philippines
18 May 07
I guess they've said everything already and i agree with all of them :)What I can tell you right now is to inhale and exhale 3x, smile and thank God that you're still here, your kids are ok, you have food to eat, you have friends, and there other people in the world who have worse problems and situations in life than you. Goodluck and GOd bless :)
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
19 May 07
Girlfriend you can cry on my shoulder anytime. If I had to do everthing you do I would have a headache for 5.5 weeks and continue to be on my period.
When is your hubby coming home? I hope he is working and that he did not run off?
Is there anyway you can get public assisstance for medical? It sounds like you do need to be seen and I do know how it is not to have insurance. The first 9 years of my marriage we did not have insurance. We did not have insurance until I went to work and got the insurance. I supported us for 15 years, I made all the money, took care of the kids, went to school and took care of my mom.
We only have two children I could not imagine what it would be like to have five children.
I am glad that school will be out in 8 days then you can maybe sleep in a little, at least save money on gas so you would not have to take that drive. Are you putting the children in closer schools next year? I hope so, incase this happens again.
I suggest when your hubby comes home lock yourself in the bathroom and take a long soak in the tub, do your toes and just relax. Maybe you can convience hubby to take the kids to the park for a few hours so you can take a nap, read a book that is not a childs book.
Good luck girl. I feel for you.
I to use to get migraines and use to have to work and try to function.
@huilee (1005)
• Singapore
18 May 07
Hey, did u visit the doctor?
I mean small sickness may led to big problems...
Ur husband and children wouldnt hate u...
Talk to them...
THey will be more then willing to listen to u, to lend their ears, to give u a hug, a pact on the shoulders...
They will be more then willing to help u...
Dun be so despondent...
Cheer up...
1 person likes this
@edigital (2709)
• United States
17 May 07
For untimely going to bed and over pressure work your headache generated, when you can fulfill your sleeping gap then you will be O.K. So try to go in deep sleep on holidays, for headache you can take small pill for some remedy from headache, but do not worry this is not serious disease or else as your blood pressure is O.K.
1 person likes this
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
17 May 07
hun, you do need to get some rest. Just let the small stuff go. Everything might seem huge but really nothing is as important as YOU!!!! You are under severe stress and HAVE to take a break. You are reaching your boiling point and nothing is worth the break down. I have been there I know. Is there free or counceling that you could get? Like a help line? Seems like a bit of depression mixed with anxiety. Of course you dont think that you are cuz you have to many things to take care of. Get help.
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
17 May 07
Ok Stepahnie, well I know it's different for me because I live in the UK where health care is free, - but please, PLEASE go to the Doctor. I have no idea of the charges where you live, but surely there is someone that can help lend you the money? A friend perhaps, or a relative, or neighbour.......? Periods that last that long are NOT normal, and could be a sign of anything from a hormonal imbalance, or the start of the menopause, - to something much more serious, and you owe it to your kids to get checked out.
Sounds like you have a big depression, that could cause your hormones to be upset and cause other problems, but it really is necessary to get checked out. You are obviously doing too much, so you must try and think of some ways round it? For example, - have you talked to your husband about it? Can't he ask for a job transfer to work nearer home, and, in the meantime, take a few weeks off work to help out? Or do you have relatives/friends nearer the kids' school that could care for them for the next week so that you get some time to yourself. How about your Mum? or a sister or sister-in-law? Maybe some friends in your community (Church/Mothers' group or whatever) could help.
Please take care.
