patronizing talk

United States
May 17, 2007 7:31am CST
Do you find it patronizing or offensive with strangers or people you barely know use terms of endearment when talking to you? I'm not talking about little old ladies. My landlord is the most obnoxious person I know and when he talks to me he always calls me sweetheart. I'm sure he means nothing by it but it really bothers me because those "pet" names are ones you give little kids and I am not a child (I'm 30 years old) and I am definitely not his sweetheart. We were out to eat the other day and waitress kept calling me sweetie and honey and stuff like that and I wanted to knock her teeth out. She was a middle aged women (probably in her mid to late 40s) so not that much older then me. I am not her child or her sweetie. Why couldn't she just call me ma'am. It wasn't so much the words she used but the tone that was condescending like I was a child. The only person in my life that is allowed to call me sweetie is my husband. I am his sweetheart and he only ever calls me sweetie (I joke that he doesn't even know my name and I can't remember the last time I heard him say it, lol). My parents used to use those terms when I was a little but now my dad doesn't use them anymore.
3 responses
mememama
@mememama (3076)
• United States
27 May 07
That's pretty common in the south ;) It bugs me when it's a way of putting me down, like a dirty mechanic saying "sweetie pie I do need to replace that hose" when I just went in to get my oil changed! Like I'm some dumb woman. But I kind of expect a waitress to do that here lol.
carlaabt
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
17 May 07
That drives me crazy, too. I don't mind when my husband, my parents, my aunt or my in-laws do it, but that's it. Even when I was younger I hated it. I just think it's so pointless to use it with someone you don't know. To me, using pet names means it's someone that you really care about. Some waitress or cashier defintely doesn't love everyone they deal with. I guess maybe they feel like it's a little more personal to use those names, instead of ma'am and sir? The only people that I ever give pet names to are my husband and my son. I might have a time or two for my nieces, but that's it.
nurhoney
@nurhoney (1123)
• Philippines
17 May 07
your so right...those kinds of endearment doesnt work with all people, they differ in age...i hate guys calling me babe, sweetie, sweetheart, etc, its annoying since i only want my hubby to call me with those "pet" names...some people were taught of proper naming of people, they could just use miss, maam, mr., madam, sir...i think those names are better to hear than "pet"names.