Why does my 3 year old terrorize my baby?

jealous...has reared its head..I have two boys that are exactly 3 years apart..oh my goodness..I recall the times..my oldest son was always trying to hurt him..when my youngest son was in his little swing the oldest tryed swinging him real high..the swing fell over.. it is hard..but you have to deal with it fairly..remember your 3 year old remembers when he was your one and only "baby"..it hurts to share mommy and daddy's love with that cute little thing..it will get better after awhile..bring some little play mates for your older son this summer and let them do something special..some times you might even need to take him in your arms too ..just letting him know that he is special to you too..the "big" brother..:)

Involve the 3yr old in the childcare a bit. He's old enough to help by bringing diapers, carrying a bottle or perhaps baby's bath things for you. Help him feel like a responsible big brother and he will settle down. Make him understand that babies must be protected. Yes, it's jealousy. But, you can't give into that. Jealousy is no excuse. Teach him about using his words to tell you how he feels or even to tell baby how he feels. (Yes he will sometimes yell at baby but the fact is yelling at the baby won't damage him permanently.) I think if you involve him more in the day to day goings on he will feel more involved. Even give him little chores to do for baby. Like maybe it can be his job at baby's bedtime to choose the lullabye that is sung, (and allow him to stay while you sing it or the CD player plays it..or whatever. ) Baby's aren't toys but they are an adventure. Try real hard not to get too frustrated with him. At three he is just learning about using his words to express himself. Give him the words, and encourage him to apologize if he does something mean. Talk to him at his age level. Ask him if he would like to be sat on. I would suggest that you continue with timeout for these infarctions simply because he does need some "calm down time" as well as learning to control his little temper. You can also reward him. Get some silver star stickers or something and put a chart on the fridge and every day that he goes without hitting brother or sitting on him or doing mean things in general he gets a star. At the end of a week, perhaps he can stay up a little later..watch a special movie..an extra story..something special with just mommy and no baby tagging along..that sort of thing. Good luck! Also someone suggested he might do better if he had some playmates. Is he old enough for preschool where you live? Maybe it's time to consider it. He will learn there that people can't always be paying attention to only him and won't be as offended by it just because it's not HIS mommy giving the attention to others. It also will help teach him some empathy for the littler kids.) Also make sure you tell him when he is being A GOOD big brother as well as when he is not. Might want to find a couple of stories about bullies too. Bullies pick on people smaller than them to get attention a lot of the time. Talk about how the bullies get into trouble, or how they don't have anyone to play with when they are mean etc. Talk to him also about when the little kid gets big enough the bully sometimes ends up being bullied because he picked on the kid while the kid was smaller and defenseless.

This is sibling rivalry and is very normal. Your kid wants all the attention to himself and cannot share it with the younger one. My mom ahd a hard time with me and my brother. WE were 11 months apart and he did every possible mean thing to me( including jumping from the cot on me in the WWF style! lol), finally she had to send me to my aunts place to save me from my meanie brother. lol This however, will pass off as he grows older maybe when your lil one grows old enough to become your elders ones play mate. They will have a nice time together. Just try to keep an eye on your older one and show him you love him as much. And maybe give him some 'tasks' or 'responsibilities' where he has to take care of your small one. Good luck!

i think because the child is only 3 he might not realize that he is hurting the baby and might not know the best way to deal with a new baby in the house. he also might be jelous of the baby and he doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he is not an only child anymore. you need to teach him how to help take care of the baby in a positive way. show him how great it is to be a big brother and what he can do to help. like help keep the baby entertained by showing him his books and so on.

The three year old is probably jealous and he might not be trying to hurt the baby. I am going thru the same thing with my 2 year old and 6 month old. The two year old screams at him and snatches his toys away. I don't know how to make him stop, but I would keep talking to him, and maybe get a book for him about "being a big brother". Give him little jobs if you think he would like it, like getting you a diaper for his brother. Kids this age like feeling powerful and if he feels he is helping it might change his attitude slowly! goodluck!

Do you give the baby more attention than him? It sounds like jealousy basically.

He is jealous. I have a daughter who is two years old and a son who is three months. She help me with changing the diaper or we bring him together to bed. Maybe you can try this also. It sounds to me that the baby get more attention than the three years old.

it sounds to me like dethroned child syndrome. This is quite common with older siblings. Look at it this way. For the first two years of his life he has had your attention totally to himself, then all of a sudden, here comes this baby that he was not consulted about and who now takes up all your time. You really do need to give him something positive from the baby, maybe a present or something like that, hope it works blessed be

This happened to me and i will tell ya time out will make it worse. The three year old is going through jealousy right now it is normal happens when a new baby comes along and takes away the attention he used to get from his or her mommy. YOu have to make sure you put time on the three year old and to make it easier try to involve the 3 year old in the things with the baby that take up your time like bathing diaper changes and feeding. Get the child to hand you things or let them hold the bottle they will get attention and be invoved with the new sibling for bonding purposes. If you dont try to put attention on your 3 year old then they will keep on the negative behavior to get that attention they feel they lack. Keep in mind the reason why they are doing it to the baby is because that is who they blame for their loses. But please dont punish him it will only make things worse. Believe me i have been through it. Let me know how you make out ok.

All the other people who have responded have atleast one good point to think about... spending more time with your eldest, trying to be fair with him, etc. I too have two children, but they are 4 and a half years apart. My son is 9 months old and my daughter is 5 years. So, I guess I don't have too much of a problem trying to make my eldest understand. But I think, both ur children must be mutually attracted to each other. Most children are, though there might be times when they fight over something. I have recently tried to bring my daughter to better behaviour using the appreciate good behaviour tactic. I have a chart boarded up which says she is a good girl and I give her a star every time she does something good. Everytime time she finishes one chart, I buy her something she likes. Also make sure to address your little one as "your brother" whenever u are talking about him to ur eldest. It would give him a sense of responsibility and seniority and finally don't forget to hug and kiss and cuddle your eldest as frequently as possible. He needs this show of affectionmuch more than ur little one now.

When my babies were small, I used to carry both in my arms, one on my left arm, the other on my right arm. I carried them both, walking around and talking to them. In this way, I let my first baby know who the new baby is. And they were on good terms. I suggest you try.

Maybe your kid is just jealous of his brother. That he feels like he is getting lesser attention and that you love your 10 month old more. I think it would be better if you will play with them both, not letting the 3 year old one left in the corner. Try to explain to him that he is his brother and that he should love him and not to treat the baby that way... Don't get mad with your older one because he may get worse that way. Just be patient and nice to him and you'll see, he will be better off.

Your child is just trying to get your attention.. He is jealous with your new child and he feels that he is losing your love to his brother. I have similar problem with you. What I did was, I gave a special time for my older son like when my baby is asleep in the afternoon, I gave time to play with my older son. I will not do any chores. I just play with him. During our play time, I insert some explainations why my time is taken by his baby brother and so on. and every Saturday, I bring him to outings just the two of us. So far my strategies worked, why don't you try it?

Hi there, too me it sounds like his jealous of his new brother which aint uncommon,before it used to be u and him and now theres, to u a bundle of joy, little ray of light and too him theres is baby who mummy has to do a lot for and maybe his feeling left out, not saying ur leaving him out its just the way he feels. Maybe if u get him to help out with the baby, u know let him feed his brother/sister with ur close eye on things even help changing a nappie, he might come around. Hope u do find a way

The children sometimes are jelous and cruel. They are afraid that the baby will replace them.You can try to turn this negative energy in positive.Ask him for help. Show him that you need him to help you with the baby. Makes him to feel important and responsible. Give to him small, but pleasant tasks about the baby. Good luck.

he might be just jealous with his sibling, specially if his not getting enough attention from you, coz before his the baby in the house so all your attention was focus on him but now that theirs another baby it devide your attention for both of them, just make sure you give him enough attention, he'll probably change.

Oh dear he's a 3yr old and its natural for him to be annoying.So i'd say let him be,just try to speak in between here and ther other than that I think he is just being himself

Is the baby getting into big brother's things? 10 month olds are generally just mobile enough to tear up art projects, break crayons, knock down block structures-pretty much make brother's life miserable. A 3yo wouldn't know how to deal with that frustration. I try to keep the baby out of the big kids' things, but I also talk to the big kids about what they should expect from the baby (a 3yo doesn't know without being told that the 10 month old doesn't know better-after all, HE knows better). And when any kid hurts any other kid on purpose, I stop immediately, sit down and show the child the injury or tears, tell him "you hurt brother" and prompt an apology. I would do the same if the 10 month old bit the 3yo, ftr-he won't understand at first but he will eventually, and the 3yo will know you don't think it's okay for the baby to hurt him.

well am not too old for the reply but the things going around is normal! the elder one only feels distracted cause of the younger. well you have to stop him everytime but its gonna be fine when he realizes who the baby is lol...i mean he gets attracted to him!

He is jealous because he's not the center of attention anymore. Try spending some time with just him everyday so that he can feel special.