our puppy fell off the deck

Tweet

i hate myself right now. i let the dogs out of the cage on our deck to play. below the railings it was fenced in with chicken wire except in 3 spots. we blocked those spots off. i really didn't think anything of it. so they were out there playing and i could here them whining which is unusual. the kids said they heard the whining too and i was mad that they didn't come get me. so i go to see what is wrong and find labonte in the cage looking very sullen. but sadler wasn't anywhere. i noticed when i walked out that the bag of charcoal was knocked over and chewed up and i was afraid she was sick and hiding but we couldn't find her. them meagan said--maybe she jumped off. i spun around in what felt like slow motion and realized the bag of charcoal had been blocking the whole in the chicken wire (there was a flap but it wasn't secured). she had pulled the flap open and fell off our deck. it is about a 20 foot drop to the ground below. oh god i hate myself so much. i ran down the stairs and she was sitting next to the door whimpering. she walked to me and was wagging her tail but it is obvious that her leg is hurt and she might have internal injuries because she cried when i carried her upstairs. i called the vet but they closed at 6 and their machine said to call their emergency contact vet. but they don't open until 8. i don't know what to do except die. i have never felt so awful in my life and i'm not exagerating. if she dies i will never ever ev er forgive myself. i don't know what to do. i can't stop crying and i think i'm going to be sick. god i hate myself so much. ------------------------------------ That was an hour ago. Since then she has been looking better. She rolled over to let me rub her belly and was trying to play with her sister Labonte. She wanted a treat out of a toy she had (was very persistent) and has gotten up and walked over to her water dish to get a drink. I have to wait until 8pm to call the emergency vet to see what to do but I hope they say they think she can make it until morning. Because I found out where this place is and it is way across town and will take me almost an hour to drive there in the dark with 4 kids (one of which has school in the morning). I don't like driving at night and the way my nerves are right now I'm not sure I could even do it. I have serious anxiety and it is through the roof right now. Not to mention I now have a splitting migraine. I feel so horrible I can't even begin to put it into words. I want to just pull her into my arms and hold her all night like I would one of my children but I'm afraid I will hurt her more (if she is seriously injured) and she seems content in the cage with her sister. Her sister spazzes out if I leave her alone. They have never been apart. They are about 9 or 10 weeks old.