Proudly South-African
By Annie
@Anniedup (3651)
Richards Bay, South Africa
May 18, 2007 10:35am CST
My husband was the force behind this discussion. And just to lighten up your weekend! These are actual writings in an Provincial Hospital in Mpumalanga South-Africa. Enjoy!
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides..
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night..
6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentlly alert but forgetful.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities
This is not a hoax or a joke here are the links:
http://www.jewishweb.co.za/index.htm
http://www.cwd.co.za/XolutionS/BusinessSolutions/admin.htm
3 people like this
7 responses
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
19 May 07
Hi Annie, LOOOL those were killer funny. I very much liked no. 10 Discharge note: Alive but without my permission. i really loved it. Thanks to you and to your hubby.
1 person likes this
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
19 May 07
Honestly i did love this post of yours very much, hey don't forget my discussion about Jealousy i'd love 2 see your input there. Thanks a lot for your AVP's.
1 person likes this
@Syekselensie (121)
• South Africa
26 Jun 07
Ha HA Annie what to say, what to say. This can only be in our lovely f.... up country. Excuse my French but you know exactly how i feel about our once upon a time beautiful country. Which is now going for the dogs! People think this is funny they don't realize that this is for real!
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
19 May 07
Hehehe, those are probably language errors, right? Many people there speak Afrikaans as native language and English is another language for them. However, it is funny because I have seen errors like that done by native speakers ;). Hehehe, thank you annieup for that. I would love to visit South Africa one day ;). Have a nice day.
Pablo
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
19 May 07
We have 11 official languages, Afrikaans, English, isiNdebele, isiXhosa, isiZulu, Sepedi, Sesotho, Setswana,
siSwati, Tshivenda, Xitsonga. My first language is Afrikaans, but we all have to be literate in English, to be able to get a job.
I agree 90 percent of them are spelling and awkward grammar but there are a few that doesn't make sense at all! I hope the doctor understands what they trying to say! poor patient! :D
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
18 May 07
Annie, I see why you are so proud! I used to work in a hospital. One of the nurses was asked for patient discharge by a worker in the records department. The nurse responded by saying what is a discharge? I thought that was a something that runs down your leg.
Kimberly
1 person likes this
@Zorrogirl (1502)
• South Africa
24 May 07
i cried laughing. my sister was a nurse at a state hosp and the stories she told... but on a serious note, i had a broken right leg, open fracture and very clear which leg had the problem. but still they wrote i were to have bone transplants on my left leg. i let them squirm a bit by letting them clean and prepare my left leg for the op. with the obvious broken leg next to it. told them just before the op. doctor was furious. lol
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
25 May 07
Oh my God can you just imagine! You are very brave! lol!!My mom had something similar happen to her, but she just picked up her gown got dressed and literally ran out the door. I was waiting for her in the car, I got such a "skrik" I thought they had attacked her or something, because she was out of breath and eyes as big as saucers. Sigh only in SA!