What kind of limits should we give our husbands?

I said it in another post. I told my husband before we got married that he was not marrying a housewife. I don't clean, don't do windows and I am a pack rat. He is a neat freak. He was like ok. Plus if I do clean he just goes right back up behind me and does it. Which is annoying. Now that I am not working it does seem like I am doing an awful lot, but we have gotten to the point where I just lay it out. I work too. Your daughter is like two full time jobs. I go to school full time and do all teh grocery shooping and cooking. WE have to give an take. He is really good about helping out even if it is to take my daughter for five minutes so I can pee with someone trying to climb on me. LOL. I think you should really make it clear that you do a lot and just need a little help here and there. Tell him they are his kids too.

Boy do I understand where you're coming from. I have this same problem with my husband. He seems to think that because I stay at home, I'm not working and that I have all day to do everything around the house, that I don't need any help. He used to think that if I was asking for help it was because I was too lazy to do it myself. What I did was told him I needed a break (which he got mad about because, according to him, it is not the least bit stressful to be with 3 children 24/7) and that I wanted a weekend away. After a few weeks of this, continually asking for some time off, he finally agreed. I went out of town for 2 days and 1 night. I left a schedule with my oldest son (7) and said, "give this to daddy so he knows what all has to be done." When I came back I got the biggest apology. He said that he didn't realize there was SO much to do in the house (and he even got the amended schedule, he didn't have to do school with the kids, we homeschool) and he finally realized why I had to ask for help at times. He helps out more now. I don't ask him to do a lot but even if he just keeps the kids occupied with a game of hide and seek I can get a lot accomplished. Good luck! Hope this helps.

i to am a stay at home mom. i have to say i am VERY lucky. i do most every thing. because i don't ask much my husband does what ever i do ask with out complaint. there are a couple things he ALWAYS does. which is the bathrooms and trash. other then that i do most every thing around the house when it comes to the kids. once he is off work he does just as much as i do. he may work 8 or 10 hours a day but i work 24 hours a day its the least he could do.

I can completely understand how you feel. I am a stay at home mom also and have had this problem with my husband in the past. I would sit down with your hubby after the kids have gone to bed and explain how you feel and that you would appreciate him helping out more. Tell him how it makes you feel when it's all left up to you. That you appreciate everything he does and how hard he works, but your job is the home and kids and that is very demanding also. Marriage is about equal partnership and it's important to have open communication. If he doesn't respond to what you have to say then tell him you would like to switch shoes with him for the day. I'm sure by the end of the day after caring for the kids, cleaning, running errands, he'll appreciate what you do and realize you could use some help now and then. Sometimes men need some tough love. Try talking to him first if not I would go with a girlfriend for a spa weekend getaway and leave him in charge and see how he feels about it when you get back.