Getting married... need help

@shakii (30)
India
May 18, 2007 11:40pm CST
hi.. i am in a relationship with a girl from last 4 years. we have enjoyed our relationship a lot. but now when we were planning to get married my girlfriend is getting scared. she is saying that i am very possessive and jealous. she will loose her independence if she will marry me. may be i was possessive and jealous but please suggest me how to get rid of that. i love my girl very much and i always want to see her happy. please suggest me how to change myself so that she will not feel that i am possessive and jealous thanks in advance..
2 responses
shortyg
@shortyg (36)
• United States
19 May 07
I think that you need to look at what is making you feel that way. Does you gf flirt with other men, are you afraid she is going to leave you. As soon as you realize where your fears are coming from you can begin to change them. I do know from personal experience that if you do not get a hold of them your marriage will ultimately suffer. You should sit down and talk with your gf about how you feel and why you feel this way. Honesty is the best way to enter a marriage. If you can't seem to get things under control on your own you should look into some counseling because they can help you in many ways and theres nothing wrong with having to do that.
shakii
@shakii (30)
• India
19 May 07
yeah.. she flirts a lot with other men. recently i came to know that she had a huge crush on a boy. he is 2 yrs younger thn her. she used to call him regularly on phone. when i asked about him first she told me that "he is only a friend, and he has a girlfriend and last thing is he is younger thn me". but after few days i came to know that she had a huge crush on him. she was even dreaming to marry him. when i told her that i came to know about this then she replied that "this is normal. girls have crushes." now also she used to speak with him regularly. for that reason i feel jealous and possessive.
magica
@magica (3707)
• Bulgaria
19 May 07
Try to understand that you cant OWN your girlfriend completely. The real love respects the freedom. Try to understand that she needs her own time, her own friends and when she is outside-it`s not neccesary she to have love affair with somebody else. Dont call her at each 5 minutes, dont control her so much. Theese are just some of the hints.And dont be discouraged, but this change needs a serious and long work with your bad habbits. Good luck.